Getting into Heatherette may have been hard, but backstage at the Tent last night was strangely serene. Amanda Lepore climbed quietly into her tutu; Lydia Hearst cooed over her red ruby slippers (Louboutins, obvs); Lisa Cant whooshed through hair, makeup, and a star struck beauty editor from Teen Vogue.

At least, that was before someone said “Britney,” and then came chaos.

Richie Rich wheeled backstage in pink roller skates; zooming steadily into Robert Verdi’s microphone. Sidekicks buzzed with the same news - Paris is coming; find an outfit! No wait, Paris is really sick with the flu; so sorry she can’t make it! - glitter spilled on M.A.C counters, assistants scattered to the exits.

“What size is Britney?!” screamed a stylist, and some models started laughing. Alas, she never came - she missed her swirly psychedelic dress; she missed the six-year-old ballerinas who danced down the runway; she missed the Danity Kane girls hum Somewhere Over the Rainbow; she missed a boustier made of plastic googly eyes and a new shoe collection that’s weirdly wearable and really quite hot.

Did we miss Britney? No way - we were having too much fun. Click below to check out the beautiful madness…

Is Amanda Lepore a good witch or a bad witch?

Richie is so excited, his hands get blurry.

Lisa Cant is perpetually fresh faced. We suspect it’s the champagne.

Lydia Hearst, the Heatherette muse whose last name spells “hearts.” This is not a coincidence, according to Richie.

In Heatherette World, the ruby slippers are Louboutins.

And finally, the amazing dress was for Britney, but I know it would look much better on me.