Top Model Recap: Nicole Richie Loves It Too

We admit that we watched Top Model this week with wine, and wow did we need it:

The latest episode featured, in order of appearance, 50 Cent pushing the spacey Jael into a pool, Nicole Richie asking the snarling Renee if she was mean, and a photo shoot so sadly low-budget, it put Glamour Shots to shame.

The amazing Brooke Miller, former Top Model contestant and new college co-ed, is back from Spring Break to review this week’s episode. Her initial thoughts on the show? “It was a little ridiculous.�

As opposed to every other week.

Click below to read her full report, and then blow us some air kisses – we’re using the holiday weekend to fly to London and break into the TopShop warehouse. We’ll see you back here on Monday. xo.

At the beginning of the episode, the models were sent to a party with Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie. And that was…?� Random and really funny! In my season of Top Model, we only got Fabio! It was impressive.

And Nicole jumped into the drama right away, telling Jael that other girls called her a bitch! Yeah, I was curious about that, like, did Tyra tell her beforehand to do it? But she’s a reality TV pro. She probably knows the drill by heart.

Let’s talk about Renee. She’s a terrible bitch, but does she look even prettier every week? Seriously, ever since you told me she looks like Jessica Stam, that’s all I can think about. I hope she gets off the sourpuss train and becomes a better person on the show, because I would root for her. She’s so pretty; she could really be a model.

Renee talks to the camera a lot. Were you required to sit down with the cameras after every segment so they could film you? Oh yes! After everything we did, there was a set time we had to spend talking to producers. It’s like a mini confessional. The producers ask about every girl, and about you. Then at the end of the week, every four or five days, you go in for a long session with the producers. It took an hour. They would go over every single thing that happened to you that week. They want a sound byte, and something to keep the people hooked in.

Do you think for the contestants, bringing drama to those sessions is as important as being a good model? Well, you can’t win the show if you’re boring! For me, talking to the cameras was the part I enjoyed most, because I got to go say what I felt. But if you’re not giving them a story to work with, they don’t want to keep you around!

This week’s photo shoot was underwhelming: Seriously, when you get all dressed up with your friends and do the Glamour Shots in the mall, that’s what the shoot was. You pop in five dollars and pick your own border, like, “Oh, we’re at the beach!� So cheesy! I actually thought Jael’s photo shoot was hilarious, but it’s time for her to go already. Like, for real.

It’s also time for Brittany’s bad hair to go home: There were seven instances during the show when I wanted to give her a hug because I felt bad for her. She had a fiery squirrel taking over her head.

Did girls try to change their makeovers in the house? No, but when you go home, it’s hard. When they gave me a weave, it was sewn into my When I got home, my mom and I sat in my kitchen for like three hours until we got it all out.

The producers didn’t arrange to have it removed? No. You go home with what you’ve got! And I had to go off to college; I was going to sorority rush. I’d sent in my pictures and my resume as a blonde girl. And rush is all about the sisters recognizing you and remembering who you are! Meanwhile, my own family didn’t recognize me! They walked right past me at the airport!

You mentioned before that when someone gets kicked off the show, they’re kept in isolation for a few weeks instead of being sent home… Yes. I only had to wait a week to go home, but if I had been eliminated first or second, I would have had to stay in California for weeks!

Do they keep you in your hotel room? No, I did get to go out every single day. It was kind of awesome in one aspect, because I had my own hotel suite with room service, and I got to do whatever I wanted! After having your life run by TV producers for week, it was a really nice detox from the process.

Do the models see the show before the public does? Nope, when America sees it is when I saw it. Confidentiality is like the biggest thing they preach to you there, they don’t want anything getting out.

Are the girls getting paid? No, we definitely didn’t get paid! But they took care of us. We had groceries, we got to go on shopping sprees, and we’d get free jeans and bags – they definitely took care of us.

Okay, they’re down to seven girls. Who’s going to win? Okay, my top three this week are Renee, she’s going to be around. She’s beautiful and she’s got the drama. Brittany will be around. She seems to be a steady rock and if they fix her hair, she’ll be good to go. And then I think it’s between Jaslene and Dionne. I know everyone hopes it’s Jaslene, but she wasn’t so great this week – and the judges seem to really like Dionne. She’s moving on up.

And who’s going home next week? Jael. Please. I’m gonna keep saying it until she actually goes home. She’s like the Sanjaya of Top Model. Nobody knows why she’s there.

Final thoughts on this week? Why does Tyra need to be Oprah? Every single time, she needs to try and give the girls therapy. I don’t love that. I’m ready for some more quote unquote modeling.