Last night’s Top Model finale was so obvious, we almost Tivo’d through the whole thing.
Cha-Cha queen Jaslene edged out goofy Natasha and mean girl Renee to take the crown, ensuring twelve months of jumping lines at Marquee and getting swarmed by eight year olds in the drugstore.
Meanwhile, Tyra tried to cause drama by hinting at bigotry behind the scenes, and Sass + Bide threatened to legitimize the entire fashion portion of the show by dressing the girls on the last runway. Thankfully, they put antlers on their heads to restore the show to the correct level of crazy.
And on a sad note, we turned to our Top Model correspondent Brooke Miller for the very last time. Here’s what the 4.0 freshman at the University of Texas said about the show…
We were bored
“It was very predictable! I was like, Natasha’s cute but she doesn’t have the composure to be a spokesperson and that’s what the job entails. And Renee is old – okay, older. She kinda wins by default.�
Single moms may get the shaft
“Maybe it was more of a Seventeen issue and not a Cover Girl issue, but I think part of the reason Renee and Natasha couldn’t win is because they don’t want a teen mom representing them. And didn’t Renee say that having a baby ruined her life? I was like, what are you doing? That makes it sound like she’s a ‘whoops’ kind of mom!�
Jaslene should not have told Tyra she’d gone to therapy in order to win Top Model
“They stretched that one for all it was worth. But the winner’s gotta have something – you can’t just be normal. You have to have a disease, or a tragic past, or therapy to make yourself a better person. She was prepared to talk for the cameras.�
Tyra wishes there were more bigots on her show
“It was interesting how they had the two ethnic girls at the end, which isn’t a big deal at all, except that Tyra made it about being a “real American,� asking them if the other girls were cruel because they came from different backgrounds. I was like, you just made something an issue that’s never been an issue in the entire competition! Nobody cares that Natasha is from Moscow, they care that she’s beat them on all of their photo shoots.�
Top Model should self-destruct now
“Can we really do this again?… I’m ready for Project Runway”
posted by pantycrickets
May 17, 2007 1:43PM
I really don't want to hear Jaslene's annoying voice next cycle "I can't believe this is my life as a Cover Girl!" It goes right through me.