We interrupt our usual stream of models and magazines to bring you something real: This morning, I rolled out of bed, reached for my wide leg Saltworks magnolia jeans, and almost couldn't button them. Excuse me? I ran through a list in my mind of what could have caused it. A chocolate chip cookie instead of dinner? Relentlessly chugging soy milk at my desk? Skipping Pilates for another party? "It happens to everyone," says Kelley Culp, a stylist and fashion editor who - disclaimer - is also a colleague at my other home base, Page Six Magazine. "In fact, the only people I haven't seen it happen to are celebrities, but that's because if pants don't fit them, they'll just say 'Oh, I don't like these, I won't wear them' before they even try them on at a shoot." Which is totally what I should have said to my closet this morning. Instead, I took down Kelley's tips for how to disguise the issue: "You don't have to throw out your jeans," she says, "Because everyone's body fluctuates, and the weird thing is, sometimes your stomach doesn't look so great but your butt looks amazing. So my biggest trick is to get a blousy shirt - not a tunic that covers up your butt, but just something with more volume that hits at your hip - and pull a cropped jacket over it. Then add a lot of necklaces and draw all of your attention up to your face and down to your butt. Under no circumstances should you throw a big cardigan over the problem, because then you can tell." Good to know. Thank you Kelley. And now, back to the dressing room.