Fashion Is Fun Dec 14, 2007 @ 10:57am

“I Think the White is Too White”

by Natalie Hormilla

poufy dress.jpg I’m not one of those girls who’s dreamed of her wedding since kindergarten. Until recently, I never thought I’d get married at all, but now that it’s happening, I have to actually answer questions like, “What’s your theme going to be?” and “Will you be a June bride?”

Of course, the question I get most often is, “What’s your dress going to look like?”

There is really only one kind of wedding dress- long, often poufy, usually strapless, and always white. But, I don’t want to wear a white wedding dress (Mom, I hope you’re not reading this.)

When I tell people that I don’t know what color I’ll wear, they tell me that I’m sure to regret it- the wedding dress is, after all, one of the most significant fashion choices you can make.

But I don’t understand how we all concluded that white is the only option, which is a relatively new concept. Before Queen Victoria wore it to her own wedding (after which everyone followed suit), it was just another option like lavender or blue. Then somewhere along the line, it came to symbolize purity, and don’t even get me started on how annoyed that makes me.

It’s not that I’m purposefully not wearing white- I just don’t think it’s the most flattering color in the world. Not to mention that I’ve never cared for looking like everyone else.

Besides, I don’t want to be someone I’m not on the day on which I should be most like myself (I never wear all white.) If it’s really about symbolism, wouldn’t it make better sense to wear green, the color of spring and new beginnings?

Maybe if I’d been one of those little girls with a Wedding Barbie, I wouldn’t be able to think of a wedding without the white dress. But since I wasn’t, I don’t see myself budging on this one. Tradition be damned, I’ll wear whatever I please.

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posted by olyaiscool

Dec 14, 2007 11:18AM

you go girl!
i've had the same thoughts plenty (even though my wedding is probably a few years away)
white should not be the only option!
i think what gwen stefani did was a great compromise between a traditional dress but yet still making it her own (and not all white!)

good luck in your wedding dress search!

posted by guest

Dec 14, 2007 11:25AM

posted by leia

Dec 14, 2007 11:33AM

I've always thought that too! I rarely ever wear white, so why would I wear it on my wedding day?

I've always thought I'd wear a color that is "me", like a deep magenta, bright coral or deep eggplant (much to my mother's horror!)

Besides, if I'm gonna drop serious cash on a gown, it's going to be exactly what I want! Why spend $2,000 on a Vera wedding dress when you could wear a great Marc gown instead?

posted by guest

Dec 14, 2007 11:39AM

Pick up a copy of the new W. They have a couple articles on weddings and dresses this month including pics of Behnaz Sarafpour's untraditional dress.

posted by guest

Dec 14, 2007 11:41AM

White was too white for me too, but there was a lot of pressure to conform. I ended up in a grey dress... with blue and red stripes. I knew it was for me as soon as I saw it at Century 21. It's from the Nina Ricci Spring 2006 ready-to-wear collection:

http://www.style.com/slideshows/fashionshows/S2006RTW/NRICCI/RUNWAY/00390m.jpg

posted by guest

Dec 14, 2007 11:43AM

Back in 1972 I felt the same way about wearing a white bridal gown. Why does it have to be white and wearing all white was just not me. I wore a dark royal blue dress and it looked fabulous on me. And to this day when people see my wedding photos, they always compliment me for wearing the dark blue dress, and more than just a few have said they wished they had more self-esteem to not follow suit and picked a color they loved.

posted by Perry

Dec 14, 2007 11:46AM

Congrats! You should do what you want to do, it is YOUR wedding after all. Good luck with the wedding dress search!

posted by guest

Dec 14, 2007 11:47AM

I never thought I would get married, let alone wanted a “Big Wedding”. So I got married at city hall in a v-neck cream sweater and jeans with neon red streaks in my hair. For my reception I wore a short navy blue dress with cream appliqués at the bottom and lavender sandals. My husband wore a light blue and lavender striped shirt and a navy floral tie. The pictures came out great and we didn’t look like we were trying to hard.

posted by guest

Dec 14, 2007 11:51AM

It's obviously a very personal choice. I just wouldn't rule white out completely. I mean my dress made a huge statement, but it was white. It was just a very fun and sexy style that was unique and very me (despite the fact that i very rarely wear white). Point being, don't rule out a "traditional" color for the sake of being "untraditional" because you can find very awesome and cutting edge gowns in white.

As far as the "$2,000 vera" gown goes, good luck finding one for that cheap. lol.

posted by Lou

Dec 14, 2007 11:52AM

I hate wedding dresses,they are the height of tackyness why not splash in a designer gown that you can wear another time, Instead of keeping that useless white relic.

I did marry in white though,I love white, but in a suit.

posted by beaver_city

Dec 14, 2007 11:52AM

i wore a vintage 50's pink/orange dress(yes i know! i thought it was an awful color until i tried it on!). i'm all about non-white.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/9958239@N06/

posted by rasha

Dec 14, 2007 11:54AM

-"...i think the white is too white"

-"HATES IT!"

natalie, what a coincidence! i was just watching that episode last night.

you're right. and this is such an important topic. brides should be most like themselves on their wedding days. personally, i want a 'not-too-white' white wedding dress... but you might look fantastic in green. i hope you find the dress you want! bonne chance!

posted by piccolina42

Dec 14, 2007 11:59AM

Am I the only one who wants to wear white? Then again, I *was* one of those wedding Barbie girls...

posted by FWD

Dec 14, 2007 12:06PM

I meant to wear blue or green. My mom had some words about that one, but I wasn't going to budge. I didn't even really want a wedding, so if I was going to do a wedding I'd at least not wear the white dress.

Until I accidentally encountered a certain cream-colored Badgley Mischka. I took one look at that thing, and the jaws of life couldn't have gotten it away from me. It's sort of whiteish, but it is exactly the sort of dress I would be, if I were a dress. And it makes me look like I'm seven feet tall.

posted by holly golightly

Dec 14, 2007 12:12PM

I couldn't agree with you more. I like your idea to wear green, actually Brides in the Middle Ages wore green to symbolize fertility. I have to ask though, if you're wearing green, then what color will your brides maids be wearing?

posted by mpw

Dec 14, 2007 12:12PM

I had to wear the big poofy white tulle strapless dress for my deb ball (hush it, I'm from the South) and I felt like a stupid cream puff. Even though it's technically a wedding dress and I could wear it again, it's not a look I'd care to revisit.

White's also not the most flattering color on me because I'm pale and it completely washes me out. I'd much rather wear a deep purple or green dress that flatters my skin tone and could actually be worn again.

posted by guest

Dec 14, 2007 12:35PM

I'm totally with you! Buy a great designer gown you can wear to a ball again one day. Nearly all wedding dresses are tacky and why spend alot of money on a dress you can only wear once. And if you are a little bit interested in fashion you don't want to wear a tacky white classic wedding dress like most brides do. Up to the 1920s alot of brides wore black dresses with a white veil.
Ella

posted by guest

Dec 14, 2007 12:44PM

I completely agree - I wore a silvery blue dress with a lavender train - it was the first dress I tried on and I had to have it! Second choice was an off white with a huge fuschia coloured sash. Am so into colour that I felt it would not be me to wear white on my wedding day.

posted by Lindsaysue12

Dec 14, 2007 1:00PM

Gah! Weddings?! I can barely grasp the fact that I'm graduating this coming semester, let a long think about the color of my wedding dress. Thinking about it scares me...WAY too much!

posted by guest

Dec 14, 2007 1:10PM

I was also a girl who didn't dream about her wedding so I completely understand not wanting to go the traditional route (I even refused to carry a bouquet...maybe that was a bit extreme, but damn traditions!)

Wear whatever color looks good on you. Your mom will probably spend a few months trying to convince you to wear white, but it's YOUR wedding, not hers.

Good luck!

posted by jesspgh

Dec 14, 2007 1:12PM

I will definitely not be wearing a traditional dress if I decide to get married either.

I love this Alexander McQueen dress:
http://www.style.com/slideshows/fashionshows/F2006RTW/AMCQUEEN/RUNWAY/00320m.jpg

But I don't think I'll ever be able to find it so I might try to find something vintage.

posted by RD007

Dec 14, 2007 1:33PM

I actually bough a buttercream colored off the rack party dress from Temperly. Fit perfectly and was cost effective (about $1600 versus $5000). Also I can wear it again!

posted by amandabug

Dec 14, 2007 1:43PM

wear whatever color you want, but please don't choose a strapless. if i see one more strapless dress at a wedding, whether it be the bride's or the bridesmaids', i will vomit.

posted by kenya

Dec 14, 2007 2:14PM

i bet you'll look amazing in whatever color you decide. wear what makes you feel comfortable even if your mom is left speechless with her hand over her mouth.
too many people put too much emphasis on the details about a wedding when its really about the committment to the other person.

posted by guest

Dec 14, 2007 2:29PM

I just got engaged and I refuse to wear white. Doesn't look good on me, I'm not into the idea of a big wedding AT ALL. Non-traditional all the way. My mom is making my dress. It will most certainly NOT be poufy, and it will likely be champagne or another color. NOT WHITE. ICK.

posted by fashionursta

Dec 14, 2007 3:01PM

@ jesspgh-

LOVE the McQueen dress- I think I'll renew my vows in it!

posted by anna_muffin

Dec 14, 2007 3:29PM

I'm one of the girls dreaming about their own wedding since...ever. But I'm not going to wear white either. I look too pale in it and I want something unique. Wedding dresses all look the same. Plus, there will be no bridesmaids, so I don't have to worry about the color of their dresses.

posted by Cynthia C

Dec 14, 2007 3:34PM

My family's from Hong Kong. I'm expected to have not one, but two dresses for my wedding. A white one for the official ceremony, and a red qi pao (cheong sam) or kwa (two piece - I'll probably have this one, since most of my family is from southern China.)

posted by guest

Dec 14, 2007 3:45PM

My dream wedding dress is the gorgeous red gown that Zac Posen designed for his sister for her wedding.

posted by Jacqueminette

Dec 14, 2007 5:19PM

Admittedly, I'm quite the traditionalist. But going to a wedding a few years back, in which the bride wore a beautiful coral dress, made me consider otherwise.

I do love the suggestions of aubergine and British racing green (perhaps even Napier green, which would be a nice, bright touch if you had a warmer skin tone). A darker shade in the Prussian blue continuum would also be gorgeous.

Thankfully, I am at a point in my life where I won't have to seriously consider this for quite a long time.

posted by guest

Dec 14, 2007 6:14PM

Hooray for you! Do whatever you like -- it's YOUR dress, after all!

posted by Jac

Dec 15, 2007 1:42AM

Can we get pictures when it happens?! I wouldn't think twice if a bride didn't wear white, who cares?! I'd wear red if I found the right dress.

posted by guest

Dec 15, 2007 6:28PM

My mum wore a short, black, beaded, vintage 20s dress when she married my dad. She's gotten more than one wear out of it, and while I didn't understand her reasons when I was little, I totally respect her rebellion against the white trend now.

posted by guest

Dec 16, 2007 5:46PM

My mom wore a pastel rainbow striped dress when she married my dad. She wore it all the time when I was little. I probably wouldn't be brave enough to wear something like that myself, though.

posted by Emi

Dec 17, 2007 11:28AM

I agree with everyone...its your wedding, so wear what you want. I always dreamed of my wedding. But when I tried on my big white princess gown, I hated it! White CAN be too white, specially on my pasty skin. I ended up buying an off-white lace gown, with a mantilla veil.

And about a green dres...Kelis wore an amazing green gown when she married Nas...

posted by brklynpop

Dec 17, 2007 11:30AM

I think champagne is a better choice for a wedding dress. It isnt as harsh as a bright white and it complements more complexions. Also, Amsale usually has some lovely silk satin dresses - the sheen of the silk satin is also less harsh.

Unfortunately, when I shopped for wedding dresses a few years ago, there weren't too many non-strapless options, unless you have sleeves added to an existing dress, or have a seamstress or designer create something specifically for you.

The other issue with champagne is finding matching shoes. Not too many wedding shoes in champagne, and a severe dearth of wedding shoes that are pumps, not slings or sandals. Many get married in the Fall and don't want (literally) cold feet.

Anyway, would love to find out what you utlimately choose as your dress. Post pics!!!