And For Whom Do You Dress?

Feb 13, 2008 @ 4:40pm

Another fashion debate raged here at Fashionista today. The fight: This morning's question in WWD, "For whom do women dress?"

Most people, no matter how much time and effort they put into each outfit, will tell you that they dress for themselves. Even Carine Roitfeld gave the answer: "I don't know for everyone else. For me, it's for myself. When you feel good about yourself, you feel good about everyone else."

We tried to convince ourselves that this is utterly true - that we wear makeup because it's like war paint and that the super tight jeans we squeeze into aren't anything at all like modern day corsets.

But one daily instance proves how untrue it probably is: How we dress at home. It occurred to us that if we really do dress for ourselves, then why do we look like such crap while we're watching Project Runway? [It should be noted that we once dropped in on a very fashionable friend of ours, unannounced. It was late in the evening, and she was definitely in for the night. And yet, she wore a white, ankle-length night gown with elegantly fuzzy slippers, and her hair was in a sleek, parted ponytail. This was in huge contrast to our usual home regalia, Roxy shorts and Key West t-shirts. So we're pretty sure she's the only one.]

And this isn't just a late-night thing - even when we go to the store or Starbucks, we're usually wearing some version of our home uniform and flip-flops.

So what's the verdict: Do you truly dress for yourself, and keep it up even when you're only around yourself? Or do you own up to the fact that it's totally for the cute guy in your chem class (or in your sales department, whatever)?

posted by lentil

Feb 13, 2008 4:51PM

I don't have a "home uniform". I have a wardrobe and I dress for myself.

posted by guest

Feb 13, 2008 4:53PM

for myself. my outfits vary based on my mood and imagination.

i realized a long time ago that "everyone else" is pretty much too self-absorbed to notice my fashion musings.

posted by Bobby

Feb 13, 2008 4:59PM

your home outfit and your outside outfit can be different and still worn for yourself. one can have different visions of yourself for different occassions that don't match up, and still you're wearing an outfit for yourself. i know just today in this horrible new york weather, i wore giant rainboots that no one else but me would have enjoyed wearing. --B

posted by guest

Feb 13, 2008 4:59PM

Women don't really dress for themselves, or for men either.

Women dress for the approval of OTHER women...there have been countless studies and polls and such on this issue.

Think about it...wearing coveted Balenciaga Blazers or chunky Chanel Tweed or what have you does not get the men drooling, yet we covet these pieces for ourselves so much that we'll not go grocery shopping for a month, because we LIVE for the compliments from other women. (Most)men are simple, and are happy with clingy/sexy/tight/pretty paired with a stiletto. thats it, thats all they care about.

think about the awful ugg craze years ago. every man on earth was saying how ugly and unfeminine those boots were, but still every women and girl in the country went out and bought a pair regardless, because they were part of our outfit that our girlfriends would eyeball and say "you look just so cute!!!"

posted by JennyJenny

Feb 13, 2008 5:01PM

That's complicated... I think a lot of people would claim they dress for themselves, but really it's not that straightforward. At least a little, everyone is dressing with others in mind.

As for me, I often look schleppy at home (and I work at home!), but I do notice I feel better, even by myself, when I'm dressed and looking polished. When I go out into the world in a great outfit, I consider it a kind of armor against judgment or rudeness. I guess it just gives me confidence, which enables to handle all situations better.

posted by guest

Feb 13, 2008 5:03PM

sometimes i think i dress my best at home.

posted by guest

Feb 13, 2008 5:12PM

Everybody should dress well at all times, who cares if you are at home or if you are out..if you care about yourself, you wouldn't allow yourself to look like crap at home or "schleppy" (only in the closed bathroom, while getting ready should you look unpresentable). Now a day, there is so to many cute & comfortable clothes out there, there is really no reason not to look good at all times.

posted by syako

Feb 13, 2008 5:33PM

oooh. please please don't go to starbucks or the store in house pants... I hate that!! As far as the original question - I dress for me, for other women (who are on a similar fashion-playing field) and for my husband who says I should wear more skirts and dresses. :)

posted by guest

Feb 13, 2008 5:40PM

I'm one of those rare people who find it impossible to dress down. You will never catch me running to Starbucks in sweats or flipflops. Honestly, I don't even think I own a pair of sweats or flipflops. I agree with guest 5:12, there is really no reason not to look good at all times.

posted by guest

Feb 13, 2008 5:43PM

i personally feel more comfortable in dresses and jeans then sweatpants. i feel like i dress for my own entertainment. i used to care about what others thought of my outfit but now if i am comfortable in an outfit i will wear it. yes women dress to be noticed but also for themselves.

posted by rachael

Feb 13, 2008 5:59PM

Question for those who don't dress down at home....if you're lounging on your couch what do you wear?

I'm a firm believer that sweatpants should NOT be worn outside of the house, but I also think that they are the best thing to wear around my apartment. When I finally get off work tonight around 10 I know the first thing I'll do is pour a glass a wine. But a quick second will be to put on a comfy pair of sweats.

posted by JennyJenny

Feb 13, 2008 6:03PM

Well, one of the reasons I often look unpresentable at home is that I want to be comfortable above all. I've just never been able to find things that are both stylish and totally comfortable. I'd love to hear what you eternally fashionable sorts wear at home. Ideas, please!

posted by hannah

Feb 13, 2008 6:21PM

I dress mostly for myself, and a little bit for other people—girls mostly. If I feel like I'm wearing a great outfit, I'll just feel that much better about myself, even on a weekend day when I have no plans to leave my house. That said, I do sleep in an oversized t-shirt and flannel pajama pants, but once I get up I'm in cute slippers and a long, pale pink robe, at least in the winter.

posted by guest

Feb 13, 2008 6:31PM

honestly, i don't dress for guys. i wear makeup for guys, but that's it. i guess i'm just looking for envy from other girls. i mean guys don't think my super skinny frame with no boobs is attractive, but girls express their jealousy daily. so i wear the skinniest of skinny jeans enhancing that, predicting that i get those comments. and i do. or i wear a "cute" not "sexy" dress to a party that all the girls love.

i'm not a lesbian, i guess it's a competition thing?

posted by guest

Feb 13, 2008 6:34PM

and yes, i do agree with the poster above "syako" because honestly sweatpants are only acceptable for home, warming up for a sports match, snow days, or driving to the doctor to get an awful cold checked out.

and you call yourself a fashionista...

posted by guest

Feb 13, 2008 6:39PM

i really don't believe it's rare to dress up every day - even when at home. american girls seem to love their sweatpants - don't get me started on southern californian college dressing - but many of us euro girls really do wear heels always.

when i'm at home, i still wear heels because i don't want to ruin the bottom of my pants. if not heels, i tuck my pants into boots to keep them from being stepped on. and if i don't want to wear pants, i'll wear a dress or skirt.

no one needs more than two sets of sleepwear (for when one set is being laundered) and why would a person spend money on clothes you would not wear out, or would only wear for a starbucks run?

i doubt there is any item of clothing less singularly flattering than 'sweatpants'. yuck yuck yuck. won't wear them at home and won't wear them to starbucks.

posted by anna_muffin

Feb 13, 2008 6:40PM

I dress comfortably at home. Otherwise, I dress mainly for other women.

posted by arcane

Feb 13, 2008 6:59PM

For myself. Even if I have no intention of leaving the house, I dress as if I am. Looking good autmatically makes me feel good.

posted by Jac

Feb 13, 2008 7:17PM

"There's no reason to not look good always." Wow, you sound like a 1950's commercial for cold cream. Some people don't look great naturally. I have long hair that needs to be done to not look like cousin it, too thin eyebrows without powder and am prone to monthly breakouts. It takes effort to look good, and my excuse for not doing so is that I have more important things to do, namely, educating myself so that I can get ahead in my chosen career. To those beauties that look good with little effort, good for you, but for the rest of us time is important and sacrificing it to "look good" is not always an option. I am sad that women still feel that they mst look good at all times. For those in fashion, this is a bit trickier as it's probably necessary/enjoyable to look good, but to place that onus on the rest of us is ignorant. It's 2008, get with the times.

posted by guest

Feb 13, 2008 8:23PM

i totally agree its a "competition" between us women! i feel better wearing designer denim, or carrying the latest bag but im sure my jean label isnt what attracts guys. my favorite bum around outfit is whatever pj pants i can find, an old tee (still HAS to match) and some slippers, but you better be sure that if its anyone even my roomate i will throw something else on not to feel like a slob.

posted by doll

Feb 13, 2008 8:37PM

I wear sweatpants around the house but I make sure they are cute, and look cute on me (as in fit well, like RH vintage). I also wear the comfiest old worn in tees, either plain white v-necks like the Olsen's the Row version (not that label but similar look) or favorite vintage rock tees. Sometimes I wear liquid eyeliner to Starbucks or my best new dress out to cheap sushi with my bff. As long as I feel good, I'm set. I love fashion for me.

I should admit though, that I'm a fan of the multimillonaire slum look. Gotta love those Olsens.

posted by guest

Feb 13, 2008 8:53PM

I live in New Zealand, where I'm pretty sure we invented jandals,so it's fairly casual here. I don't think the day of the week or my plans should dictate what I wear, rather, it's about what you like. I like my clothes to fit, and be in a colour that suits me. That's a pretty low standard, but it rules out trackpants (even if they're in a colour that suits me)! I have unruly ringlets that are constantly threatening to go Ronald McDonald on me, but hey, once you learn how to French plait your hair, problemo solved (p.s. thanks Fashionista for the inspiration to plait a headband across the top of my face, saves time, looks great, even looks cute on day 2 when it starts to get a bit wispy).
Jac, I work full time in a pretty hardcore career (law), I volunteer for two organisations, I play soccer and hockey, I have a boyfriend and family and friends, I'm studying French and play violin, and I still manage to make an effort to feel that I look nice. Good on you if you don't care, but it's not really about how much time you have, is it?? I think it's interesting that you have prioritised learning and other 'worthier' pursuits over applying makeup. Sweet as, but just remember it's not about people like me 'getting with the times' so much as it is about everyone being different, and doing what they think rocks :)

posted by guest

Feb 13, 2008 9:31PM

I wouldn't feel good or respectable if I showed up to class in sweat/pajama pants and sweatshirts every day. I never wear t-shirts except when at the gym. The most "dressed down" I get in a non-gym situation is when I'm in for the night in the dorms, where I'll put on my one pair of non-exercise sweatpants and a tank top. I feel like dressing nicely shows that I put a little bit of effort into, you know, being alive for the day. It certainly makes me stand out in a sea of college-sweatshirt and sweatpanted bedhead girls.

posted by Jac

Feb 13, 2008 9:38PM

No, I'm sorry, I disagree, although I definitely respect that you're able to find time for what sounds like a pretty busy (and fulfilling) life. :) It's not that I disagree with the idea of looking good (I do read this site afterall), I disagree with the idea that we should all "find the time to look good no matter what". I think that works for some people, but it shouldn't be forced upon us especially since there are DEFINITELY times I'm called to do something and I don't have time to get ready.

I forgot to answer the original question. Being in Seattle for the time has made me dress for one thing: rain.

posted by guest

Feb 13, 2008 11:34PM

I'm definitely guilty of wearing sweatpants outside of my apartment. I live downtown in a big city so I'm not going to bother getting dressed if I'm just running next door to Starbucks or to get sushi takeout. I can't justify spending 30 mins getting ready (or dirtying a clean outfit) just to walk out of my building for 2 minutes, then walk back in with my food.

posted by guest

Feb 13, 2008 11:46PM

Some women that dress for themselves really shouldn't, because the public doesn't want to see it :)
I just have to say how much I hate it when women wear sweats or pjs at the airport! Ugh. It just makes me cringe. You'll be sitting in a chair the whole time, since when does that call for bedroom attire? But then I also find it humorous when women get completely decked out for a flight. Heels and tight short skirts, if that's you and you pull it off gracefully that's great. But most women I see look uncomfortable - and it's bad when a total stranger can tell a woman hasn't dressed for herself.

posted by 808Kate

Feb 14, 2008 12:23AM

Some days I'll dress up to go to class, some days, I won't. And I don't really think it makes much of a difference on the whole, but I do feel a little cooler the days I know I look good. :)

But I live far, far away from anywhere like New York City, and I think that if I did, I would feel and act differently because of the people around me. I would probably dress up more often and spend more money expressing myself through clothing, so to speak.

posted by guest

Feb 14, 2008 1:02AM

i say do whatever the f you want. if you're confident (and naturally beautiful enough) then wear sweatpants out! (just not the juicy couture ones! some of you really need to get the stick out of your asses. fashion is fun, but it's not life or death. get over yourselves.

posted by guest

Feb 14, 2008 2:44AM

When I wear Pucci its for me, when I wear Marc Jacobs its for the ladies. The men are allowed to watch.

posted by guest

Feb 14, 2008 7:52AM

I won't lie- I dress for other women as well as for myself. I hate wearing ugly clothes at home though. I do wear comfy clothes, but nothing too hideous. I have to say it's never even occurred to me to leave the house in my home clothes- even if it's just to pop out to get bread and the paper, I do change into proper clothes, albeit relatively casual ones. No one needs to see me in my £4 Primark tracksuit bottoms...

posted by guest

Feb 14, 2008 9:07AM

It's all very circumstantial. Mostly, I dress for myself. But myself does want to look cute and pulled together! However, I do live at the beach. If I went out to grab a coffee or run a quick errand in anything other than flip-flops and a tee, I'd tend to look ridiculous. But I do keep my "tee and sandals" look fashionable. Believe it or not, beach town trends do change each season!

My "work wear" is workout gear. If I'm not working at the gym or a studio, I'm working out myself. When I get dressed, I am dressing for no reason other than function. I must be able to move in certain ways, and my body must be visible, not hidden by baggy clothes or layers. I keep my workout clothes looking fresh and nice, and I clean them with as much care as any fine garment. When they start looking the least little bit worn, out they go. But one thing I will not do is spend hundreds of dollars on "upscale" designer athletic clothes. If there were something amazing about the performance or features of that type of clothing, it would be one thing. But I've yet to see them offer anything of any importance that I couldn't get in a lower-priced garment. I just don't have it in me to spend that much money on something with a very short shelf life just so that I can try to make myself feel more important because I'm sporting a logo. I've got better uses for my money.

But when I do hit the town for a day of shopping, or go to a function at my child's school, or go out at night, I try to look as fabulous as possible. And the main reason is because I want to show people that you can have a baby and a preschooler and a busy life while still dressing well and doing your hair and makeup. I feel there is no excuse for the "soccer mom" look of solid color tee, capri pants and boring bob. I want to be the counterexample to that.

One thing I will never do is go out in public, even for a split second, without makeup on. The public does not deserve to suffer the horror that is me without mascara and concealer just because I'm feeling lazy!

posted by alicelancaster

Feb 14, 2008 11:59AM

this is how i dress at home watching project runway. wacky, yet comfy. http://flickr.com/photos/alicelarkinlancaster/2237955726/in/set-72157603159791839/
i do dress for myself, as well as for others. living in chicago (which i believe to be a relatively conservative dressing city) i like to think i give people something interesting to look at while they walk to work, as opposed to blending in with the sea of black coats and sweatpants and goddamn uggs.

posted by guest

Feb 14, 2008 12:38PM

when i'm at home i dress in yoga pants and long-sleeved tees...why would i want get my nice clothes dirty and get them worn/faded faster?

i dress for myself and sometimes boys.

this sounds a little vain, but i'm tall, thin and cute...so i don't feel the need to dress up all the time. i can get away with a being a bit more 'natural' and sloppy, even. though you'll never see me in running shoes, i'll wear (black, always) yoga pants if i'm going for a starbucks. I dress pretty well, but i don't over-do it unless it's a special occasion.

posted by Tamara

Feb 14, 2008 12:39PM

I am one of "those girls" who always looks her best. When I'm at a party, in class, or just watching a movie with my boyfriend. I do get a lot of comments from women expressing how they really respect how well I keep myself. Those compliments, on top of the confidence I already have, really make me feel wonderful. I do think women dress for other women. My friends understand my different "looks" better than my boyfriend.
That being said, the other day I tried on a pair of my boyfriends jeans for fun and he said I looked really sexy. He expressed how attractive it was seeing me in baggy jeans and a t-shirt compared to dresses, heels, blouses, boots, ect. This just confirmed why I will never understand men, haha.

posted by Rose Tyler

Feb 14, 2008 4:38PM

When I get dressed in the morning I dress how I feel no matter where I'm going or if I'm going anywhere at all. I like my personal style and that's what matters. Now if someone envies an outfit I have on or a cute boy(my husband included) digs it then that is simply a bonus. On a side note, I cannot stand sweats. You'll never catch my butt in them.

posted by bananahana

Feb 14, 2008 8:39PM

it's a little hardwired in our minds to dress to impress isn't it?

posted by guest

Feb 14, 2008 10:21PM

I truly dress for myself now. I'm in my 40's and realized a while ago that my own style is never on track with my age or what's particularly on trend. I had to force myself into a mold for the corporate world for years, so now my consideration goes towards what in my wardrobe will please ME on a given day. I've shopped "vintage" since I was in Jr. high school because it allowed me to obtain things that were one of a kind. I also have a habit of re-making things that have a beautiful pattern or weave into things that look current. I prefer clothes that are cut like garments from the 50's and 60's and can carry color, or a bold print or embellishments. Wear what you want you've only got one go-round here.

posted by pratishtha

Feb 15, 2008 12:04AM

Trust me, your friend is not the only one! I have a neighbour like that. I work from home, so comfort comes first for me. I have this set of wear at home tees that I would spend all my life in if I didn't have to step out. So yes, we do dress up for other. Really.

posted by dumbbrunette5

Feb 15, 2008 4:58AM

i really and truly do dress for myself but i dont see a problem with other people not doing the same. i just enjoy putting an effort into what i wear and wearing things that make me happy. i dont own sweatpants, but i do have one pair of slim dance pants for when im sick in bed although i would never ever venture outside the house with them on. and my pjs are mostly slip dresses. i just enjoy getting dressed up and honestly, its not for other women because alot of the girls ive met are the type who think its weird to get dressed up every day. i dont see anything wrong with that, but nice clothes are what make me happy so i go with it.

posted by guest

Feb 15, 2008 3:04PM

All you women who say you dress fabulously for yourselves at all times are obviously lying, or you wouldn't be leaving long drawn out comments about how fabulous you are and how pathetic you find it when other women wear sweatpants. If you truly dressed for yourself, you wouldn't need validation of your fabulousness from anonymous people reading a blog. I find that kind of conceited boasting a lot more pathetic than wearing sweatpants to the airport.