Shopping Feb 22, 2008 @ 2:38pm

“You suffering from buyer’s remorse or something?” “God no, nothing like that.”

by Britt Aboutaleb

dvf wide leg pants.jpg My closet is full of dresses, skirts and a couple pairs of jeans, but I generally don’t wear pants.

Mid-fashion week, I bought a pair of super wide-leg black trousers. I’d seen Meredith Melling-Burke wearing hers for a couple of days and they looked so chic. I wore them for a miserable couple of hours and realized, incredulously, that just because MMB can wear something, doesn’t mean I can.

So I returned them.

It was the first time I’d ever returned an item I actually wore. I felt 90% guilt and a 10% thrill of “Wow! I can actually get away with this?”

According to The Boston Globe, I contributed to a serious economic problem. Apparently, an increasing number of consumers are purchasing items extremely beyond their means for a specific occasion and returning them for a full refund when they’re finished. They call it “renting” - one woman even rented a dress to wear to her daughter’s graduation.

Do you guys do this?

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posted by syako

Feb 22, 2008 2:43PM

heck no. that's all kinds of disgusting and unethical. makes me question whether the thing I actually buy hasn't already been worn by someone else...

posted by Divina

Feb 22, 2008 2:46PM

I never do that! I used to work in retail and I hated when people would do stuff like this. I've returned impulse buys before, but I don't make a habit of it.

posted by Divina

Feb 22, 2008 2:49PM

I never do that! I used to work in retail and I hated when people would do stuff like this. I've returned impulse buys before, but I don't make a habit of it.

posted by guest

Feb 22, 2008 2:51PM

I've done that once or twice, but never with the direct intention that I was going to be returning the outfit...

I wouldn't feel entirely guilty, especially on low price items, because thats what the return policy is for, a good company should be flexible and understanding.

That said, I work for a high end retail store and we do indeed refuse service to people who continuously buy and then return our chanel/bvlgari products.

Even though we have an incredibly open return policy, we're still a private company and I'm glad that we ultimately have the right to refuse service to serial returners.
At high costs and continous returns, it's taking advantage of the store.

I think the wal-mart culture of pleasing the customer no matter what has made consumers demand, even exploit, too much from the stores.

posted by guest

Feb 22, 2008 2:55PM

The only thing similar I've done is buy shoes and test them around the house for about a day to make sure they fit. Or if I'm not sure about clothing I'll keep it for a week or so -- without wearing it around -- to decide if I want it or not, rather than leaving it at the store and finding it gone the next day.

posted by guest

Feb 22, 2008 2:58PM

I never buy with the intent of returning but if the product does not live up to expectations (hem unravels...) I return it.

posted by guest

Feb 22, 2008 3:13PM

I do not think I would return something I have already worn.
I once returned a pair of shoes after trying them at home and realizing they were too small. Unfortunately the store no longer had the same in a bigger size so I took home a similar model.

posted by southweststyle

Feb 22, 2008 3:15PM

I remember in middle school, there were a group of popular girls that ALWAYS still had tags on their clothes. They were rich and had insane wardrobes (or so I thought) and carried Dooney and Bourke bags (disgusting, but hip in '94)I finally asked someone what was up with the tags, and they were like, "Oh didn't you know? They return everything!"

Gross.

posted by guest

Feb 22, 2008 3:20PM

I did this once in college. I needed a nice interview outfit for a big swanky state job and well, since I was in college - I was dirt poor and wore tee-shirts, jeans and school sweaters. I bought a cheap suit at Ross and added some accesories to "jazz" it up (and hide the cheapness) but the SHOES! I found a killer pair of heels in faux croc that were $60. They make the outfit kick ass so I had to buy them. I wore them to the interview, came home buffed them up, wiped off the soles and took them back.
God bless those shoes - I got the job. (now I have three, very similar pairs) :)

posted by guest

Feb 22, 2008 3:37PM

I've done it with evening gowns *blush* but they stayed impeccably clean- who can wear a gown more than once anywhere?
While I'm a Long Islander myself I picked up the habit from friends in Beverly Hills- who swear it is commonplace there.

posted by syako

Feb 22, 2008 3:43PM

I am disgusted by these responses!! No SHAME!?!?!?!?

posted by guest

Feb 22, 2008 3:47PM

The only time I would return something I have worn/used is if it's defective. I've done that a couple times with shoes- where they wore down so badly after one week of wear that they were irreparable. That to me is the store's fault and they should accept the return, it's not "wardrobing."
I do sometimes buy things, take them home, try them on with stuff I already own, stare at them for a few days, whatever until I'm sure I want to keep the item, but I would never ever wear it out until I had decided to keep it. It is fraudulent to "wardrobe," not to mention just plain trashy.

posted by MrFashionisto

Feb 22, 2008 3:55PM

I agree with Syako, i am DISGUSTED. I could Never Ever Ever Ever return something. I just feel so Classless thinking about it. Just the thought of going back to Dior or Bottega with an outfit (or a pair of shoes) that wore.... makes me feel uncomfortable. If they were defective... i guess so. But other than that... oh, no.

posted by bananahana

Feb 22, 2008 4:31PM

I would never do that, ever. I would feel so guilty putting on the item of clothing then even returning it!

But I loved what Guest 3:20PM said. I finished reading your comment and smiled to myself.

posted by guest

Feb 22, 2008 5:23PM

I've definitely witnessed crass people returning clearly worn clothes, and I think it's atrocious...which is why I'm suffering from this dilemma: I bought a gorgeous pair of jeans from Nordstroms even though I was a little on the fence about the stretch factor. The sales associate suggested that I wear them around a bit, wash them, and exchange them if they stretched. Well, did they ever. But I've had them for nearly two weeks and feel self conscious about returning them. Thoughts/advice?

posted by porscha

Feb 22, 2008 5:37PM

i've never. i worked in retail and hated it when people did that.

posted by Frank

Feb 22, 2008 5:43PM

Gasp!

So so wrong!

posted by nadarine

Feb 22, 2008 6:01PM

5:23 guest- well, since the Nordstrom salesgirl TOLD YOU to try them out at home and take them back if they weren't perfect, I think you're well within your bounds to do so. Nordstrom is known for having an above & beyond customer service/ return policy across their company.

As far as "renting"- god, no, never. If I don't love it enough to buy it, I don't love it enough to wear it.

posted by guest

Feb 22, 2008 6:15PM

to the nordstrom commenter: even stores with extremely lax return policies don't let you return WASHED merchandise... that's very strange that the sales associate would suggest that.

posted by guest

Feb 22, 2008 7:49PM

I think some of you need to get off your high horses. Yes, I have returned things I've worn before. I don't make a habit of it, but sometimes you wear something and realize the cut is horrible for you or it's not as shapely as you imagine. Then take it back. I don't buy things for occasions, I buy things because I love them. And if I don't absolutely love it, there's no reason for it to hang around my closet.
I've worked retail before and it's all the same to me. It's no skin off that retailers nose. That item will still sell. The sweater I am wearing today stunk of someone's perfume when I bought it. . . but it didn't stop me from buying it, it's cashmere, I love it and that's all that matters.
Last time I returned something to the J. Crew outlet the snooty sales girl had nerves to ask me if I had worn it. Is it going to come out of her paycheck if I have? Don't think so. Stop taking it so seriously, J. Crew isn't going to give you a raise for it! If anything, she just chased away a customer who likes to spend money. . .

posted by guest

Feb 22, 2008 7:54PM

Syako, do you wear vintage? Or thrift? I don't understand the extreme outrage. As long as the item's still saleable and unwashed then it sounds like fair play to me. . .

posted by geneva

Feb 22, 2008 8:16PM

Certainly not. Certain people would consider this a form of stealing.

I've taken stuff home and reconsidered it and returned it, of course, but never after WEARING IT. If I've worn it lightly, I sell it on eBay.

posted by guest

Feb 22, 2008 9:34PM

i don't have the same moral objection to returning clothes, but i don't do it anyway, mostly because i rarely buy things i don't want to keep forever and ever.
i do, however, do the same as you in rarely wearing pants. i've got piles and piles of skirts.

posted by guest

Feb 22, 2008 10:05PM

i would feel so guilty if i did this! i don't know, it's just so wrong.
the tag story made me laugh, i remember a girl from my junior high days doing that.
i also once saw a girl returning her prom dress at macy's. it was tacky, to say the least.

posted by guest

Feb 22, 2008 10:35PM

I know of a family friend who shows up at events (i.e. wedding vow renewals) in outfits like this...once saw a tag hanging out of her Luella bag. Saw another family friend who is super rich wearing a Prada coat with the tags still on.

That said, I have never done this intentionally and only once or twice. I've been screwed over by return policies designed to prevent this from happening...recently I bought something at Bottega and they were jerks about it. I know they want to prevent wearing-and-returning but seriously they were like "We'll let you return it TODAY ONLY for an equal or greater value item." I was NOT in the mood to pay 810 for some sunglasses I didn't need and ended up leaving with the original item. So I get where they're coming from but it was really unfair.

posted by dumbbrunette5

Feb 23, 2008 12:08AM

i think if i ever bought something with the intention of returning it...plus..its not very hygenic for whoever ends up buying it. when i buy clothes/shoes i spend a while thinking about it and trying it on to make sure it fits everywhere, and is something id wear again before buying it, even with cheap clothes from target. usually i only return when i buy things online, because you dont have a chance to try it on before and sometimes they send me clothes with holes or something. but in that case its not really my fault. if i do end up buying something from a store that i regret however, i only return it if it hasnt been worn.

posted by guest

Feb 23, 2008 12:22AM

that's stealing! it's one thing to return an item in salable condition, but to knowingly wear the item out, then want your money back??? that's ghetto.

the closest thing i've done is buy an interview suit while in college, and return it after wearing it for an hour in the interview. i think the difference would be i returned the suit in tip top condition. i don't think it hurt anyone. i don't think it affected the sale of the item. of course, i wouldn't do this now that i'm making money.

posted by guest

Feb 23, 2008 1:42AM

i work in a high end mens clothing store and we always get returns and exchanges on worn clothing and whatnot. we totally stand behind our product 200%. we even tell our clients, try it, you can wash it, wear it, try it for a few months, if it doesnt meet your standards, bring it back.....no strings attached.

posted by guest

Feb 23, 2008 3:56AM

to the NORDSTROM dilemma...i am an employee at Nordstrom and I can assure you that they will take the pants back with no questions asked.

NORDSTROM HAS NO RETURN POLICY! NONE.

meaning....they take anything and everything back.

it may sound crazy but its because they want to service the customer in the best way possible. you could take back boots from five years ago and they shouldnt hassle you.

that said...to make matters easier always keep your receipt and tag(with Nordstrom upc sticker on it). if you have these two items you will breeze through a return or exchange.

posted by Aaron Christopher

Feb 23, 2008 4:31AM

The closest I've come was wearing an out fit for 10 minutes then right before I left to go to an event I took it off and returned it the next day. It was just wrong!

posted by Shanna

Feb 23, 2008 4:51AM

I don't see anything wrong with doing this at all.

I mean, what is the return policy there for? If you buy something and change your mind about it, or it doesn't fit or is defective, then go get your money back.

That said, I think it's a little bit tacky to buy a nice outfit for a special occasion, keep the tags on it, and then return it. I don't condemn other people who do it, because maybe they have a good reason (i.e. important job interview, can't afford a new outfit) but I have never dont it before and wouldn't want to.

posted by guest

Feb 23, 2008 10:00AM

I love the morally ambiguous "I did it but only wore it for an hour, for an interview, because I was in college" etc. It's all the same people.

posted by guest

Feb 23, 2008 12:04PM

I used to work at a store with a return policy similar to Nordstrom's--we would take back anything, no questions asked. There were people who would wear things and return them repeatedly. Customers like this were enraging to everyone in the store (because the returns did come off of our commissions), but the policy was any item, any time, no questions asked. People would even do this with cosmetics, using up almost an entire bottle of foundation or jar of moisturizer and returning it for a full refund. You really see an entirely different side of people when you work retail.

posted by guest

Feb 23, 2008 1:21PM

Honestly people! I never intentionally buy anything with the intention of wearing it and returning it, but the returns has a purpose - you don't like something and you can return it. I buy something, I go home, I try it on - wear it for a couple of hours and see if it fits and if it works with a specific outfit. Sometimes I wait for a week and see if I changed my mind.

Don't be so high and mighty - it is every customer's sight to return anything within 28 days (UK), may it be that fact you don't like it or it doesn't fit. If it is faulty, it is very well within your right to demand what you paid for - not just a "guess so" situation. If you pay more that a 100 bucks for anything, it is OK to demand the quality you payed for!

posted by guest

Feb 23, 2008 1:23PM

If the retailer takes it back, that's their problem. It's their choice, after all.

posted by guest

Feb 23, 2008 1:49PM

i worked in retail and i hated the shoppers that returned the merch because it was 'defective!' Just because a cotton top costs more doesn't mean it is as sturdy or more durable than a cheap top at target. Often you have to pay more for more DELICATE fabrics! (go to a fabric store!) Super fine cotton knit with silk or cashmere blend is not going to withstand the normal wear and tear of a backyard party with kids and pets jumping all over you. I think we are all spoiled by return policies. We need instant shopping gratification and so we buy things without really thinking about how it actually fits poorly or doesn't go with anything in our closets. It's pure emotion that drives purchases...and emotions are fickle. Frankly, it's not good for our economy OR our very own bank accounts. And even that option to return anything...think of how that effects other areas in our 'throw-away' society. Peace.

posted by lauraJANE

Feb 23, 2008 2:19PM

i will admit: i have bought/returned. what i bought though are formal dresses from Dillards or Macy's for formal school dances. I've never had the money to outright pay $200 for a dress, so i'll wear it and return it. I always use Oust air disinfectant spray on the dresses though--- i wouldn't want someone buying a dress that smelled like someone had already worn it out dancing.

also, the dresses are cheaply made-- honestly, every dress i've "borrowed" (as some of you put it) has come with a ripped seam or a pull in the fabric or an unravelling hem or something--so i don't feel bad about returning them, and i don't think Dillards will take it to heart, considering their dresses are all cut-and-paste stereotypical formal-wear. if it were designer, on the other hand, i wouldn't return. it's a quality product that shouldn't be taken advantage of.

posted by guest

Feb 23, 2008 4:45PM

See, this is why I buy online as much as possible. I have noticed articles of clothing I've bought in store don't seem quite so fresh. One time it was super clear someone had worn the item - it actually had crumbs in the pockets! - but it was such a steal that I bought it anyway and had it cleaned. Gross.

Anyway: try on in store, buy online. That way you get the right size, but it comes to you fresh as a daisy, usually in the packaging the designer sends it out in. ♥

posted by lentil

Feb 23, 2008 5:15PM

oh gross. the hygenic thing really grosses me out.

posted by syako

Feb 23, 2008 5:34PM

Guest @ 754, actually, no I don't really own any vintage pieces or shop at thrift stores... more of a time/access issue than a being disgusted by wearing other people's clothes.

You missed my point completely, I'm disgusted that people have no morals or SHAME and buy something with the intention to wear AND return. I don't care if someone buys something tries it on at home and returns, whatever. But to intentionally do this (buy,wear out,return) is beyond shameless. (even for interviews!!!!!!!!)

And I'm disgusted that I might buy something from a nice boutique and it has actually been worn OUT by someone else, and I think it's brand new. That IS truly disgusting.

posted by chasing pavements

Feb 23, 2008 5:40PM

I was going to begin this with "Sorry, but" but the fact is that I'm not sorry at all for saying that this is wrong. It doesn't matter the reason - prom, a job interview, whatever - it's not okay to buy something and wear it for an event with the intention of returning it. (And it's not "renting" - that would be if you paid a sum of money that you didn't get back. When you get a full refund, it's more like, oh, stealing.)

This practice has nothing to do with people who return clothes because they don't fit, don't match what they need, whatever. That's the reason return policies exist - for things that come up.

To everyone who thinks they're the one that takes great care of a garment they wear, be aware that retail employees have seen it before and they're not easily fooled. Formal wear is particularly suspicious (and likely to get a couple sniffs), and it's easy to tell if shoes have been worn, too. There's all kinds of signs. And then do you know what happens? It's "damaged out," which means that it's sent back and no one can purchase it, and the company doesn't just lose the money that you spent, but also the initial outlay of purchasing an item they can no longer sell.

(And I could tell you stories about how audacious people are with returning things - we would usually take them and damage them out if we thought the customer was going to put up a fuss even though they had gone beyond our 30-day policy - the worst I ever saw was lice on a returned bra. Thanks, lady.)

I'm just kind of surprised at the sense of entitlement people have about getting a suit or a dress for a special occasion. Whatever happened to saving or making do?

posted by sydneyt

Feb 23, 2008 9:59PM

I honestly can't believe the number of people that admit to doing this! I've never even thought about it, the idea of purchasing something with the intention of only wearing it once and returning it is tacky.

posted by guest

Feb 23, 2008 11:57PM

i sure do.. but i woudlnt return soiled clothes, i have a tad of class lmao

posted by guest

Feb 24, 2008 2:04AM

I have never even thought of doing this...it just seems so wrong!!

I guess maybe people feel entitled to do this. Clothing and accessories are getting increasingly expensive and we live in such a trend driven society, so I guess it makes sense that people would take advantage of the retailers who allow them to. People might see it as a way to "cheat the system" and get all of the things that they want, but not have to actually spend the money on it.

posted by guest

Feb 25, 2008 3:50AM

in europe you cant really do that. even if you return something with the price tag still attached, they accuse you that you somehow put it back on and make a big scene by calling the shop owner, who will then interview you on why you wish to return this item... last year i went to visit my best friend in nyc and was able to return my marlene dietrich pants that i wore for almost a week, washed and put in the dryer ! i was shocked and grateful at the same time.

posted by guest

Feb 25, 2008 11:10AM

So, I'm the commenter from 3:20 and the reason I did what I did was because I had no freakin money!

It's not WRONG. I did not feel shame. If you think your clothes were worn before you bought them, then you can WASH them. It's not like you're gonna return them anyway.

Don't jump to conclusions - I now make good money and keep what I purchase. Actually, if I don't like something after I buy it, I give it to my cousins who are now in the same position I was in back in college. Sharing is caring.

posted by guest

Feb 25, 2008 11:39AM

ew you guys, come on, really. i thought that fashionista had a little more of the classy readers than the kind i went to high school with.

buying-wearing-returning clothes is just classless. if you can't afford to keep an expensive outfit then you probably shouldn't be trying to give off the vibe that wearing designer duds give.

if its a certain look you need (i.e. job interview) then thats pretty shameful, cause obviously you'll probably need that same look again in the future - it's not like youre never going to interview at another job ever again.

i hate how people feel like theyre so entitled to this kind of behavior.

posted by guest

Feb 25, 2008 11:43AM

ick. to all you people wearing and returning, i'm embarrased for you, even though you can't see why.

posted by guest

Feb 25, 2008 12:09PM

I used to work for a lawyer who occasionally would buy shirts/ties for his clients (he took on appointed cases for defendants who couldn't afford legal rep.).

Once he bought a shirt and tie for a client who ended up being an ass/going to jail. It was super-stained inside the collar and just overall gross...he made me take it back to the men's store to try to return it.

Needless to say the salesman refused and on top of that called my boss and reamed him out for being disgusting. Then he suggested I quit bc my boss was obviously a gross human being. I guess too bad he didn't buy the shirt at Nordstrom?

posted by guest

Feb 25, 2008 4:41PM

Having no money or because something is cheaply made is no excuse for wearing something and returning it. The sense of entitlement that some people have is unbelievable. Live with in your means people! No wonder there are so many bankrupt young women.

posted by guest

Feb 26, 2008 2:10PM

i think that like anything, there are limits. if you are buying something thinking "i'm going to wear this, then return it for my money back" ("renting") then yeah, you are a bad person. but if you buy something and it is uncomfortable, or falls apart after one wear, then i think you should return it. i used to work in retain merchandizing for a huge specialty retailer and trust me - some clothes are incredibly poorly made and the people making them know this. once they get in the stores, there is often little that can be done, however. the company doesn't want to bear the loss, so they try to sell as many units as possible. it would be a shame to have an honest client purchase something that we knew ahead of time would have some problems, and then ask them to bear the financial burden of our mistake. as long as you are purchasing something with the intention to keep it, i think it is fine to return something that just doesn't work out for you.