10 Questions for The Hills

Mar 25, 2008 @ 3:03pm

Because you knew it had to happen...

10. Hey girls, how’d you get Karl Lagerfeld's bodyguard to pick you up from the airport?

9. Who has let Whitney intern at W without saying "Givenchy" ?!

8. How much did Alberta Ferretti pay for that product placement? And how hard is Annelise Peterson smiling right now?

7. Natalie wants me to discuss Heidi's plastic surgery, but I have a better issue: Has anyone else noticed that Heidi’s face in the opening credits is like two seconds long, compared to the five seconds for Whitney, Audrina, and Lauren?

6. Who noticed the paparazzi shooting Lauren as she left Colette?

5. Raise your hand if you prefer Whitney naked, and not in a Ferretti ballgown?

4. How much weight has Spencer gained?!!!!

3. Wait, Lauren: 20 minutes is a SHORT shower?

2. Why doesn't someone take the snow shovel and hit Spencer with it? Over the head?

***At this point in the program, Faran would like to point out that when she went to Paris last year to work for Teen Vogue, she took the Metro everywhere and had no driver… and had no itinerary… though Vogue and Teen Vogue’s Paris bureau staff were unbelievable and amazing. I feel bad for Lauren and Whitney that they weren't introduced to them; they massively missed out. And now, back to the show***

1. Indie rock bands just sort of hang at the Plaza Athenee? What?

0. Raise your hand if you screamed to the television, "Lauren, do not wear your ballgown to a nightclub"?!

-1. OMG chest hair. OMG silly French jealousy. OMG.

-2. Whitney,you thought you’d get to style the Crillon Ball? What?!

-3. So, which MTV producer switched on that curling iron when you weren't looking?

-4. Did anyone else notice they played the same rock song that's in the Sex and the City finale? And that made it sort of a party foul?

-5. Is there a perverse pleasure in watching Whitney and Lauren stand to the side as other rich girls get pampered and photographed at this Crillon Ball?

-6. Did Princess Beatrice sign up for this crap? Oh no, she did not.

-7. "PERHAPS YOU SHOULD PURSUE THAT, WHITNEY" ?!

-8. LC, you already ruined one ball gown and now you're gonna get on a Vespa in another one?

-9. Audrina, why are you letting Heidi into your house? Don't you know Lauren has control issues?

-10. Kelly Cutrone, where have you been all our lives?! YAY!

posted by guest

Mar 25, 2008 3:11PM

LOL

posted by guest

Mar 25, 2008 3:12PM

PLLLEEAASEE can we discuss Heidi's plastic surgery? Why'd she do it? She's just a kid and now she looks like an old plastic face freak with a mass produced face. Whatever happened to natural beauty? UGH!

posted by andremichael

Mar 25, 2008 3:16PM

well.. heidi's naturally ugly, so.. loL. i was so indifferent about The Hills last night; it feels more "deliberate" than ever.

posted by guest

Mar 25, 2008 3:16PM

I CRINGED when Whitney idiotically said "G- e vanchseee"

its JEEE VAAAAN SHEEE!

holy heck. I would be a much better Teen vogue employee. those girls are idiots.

posted by sarajane

Mar 25, 2008 3:20PM

The dress problems were so obviously scripted that it was painful to watch that scene... and the dress pinned up didn't look so hot. The hills is so addicting and fun to watch that you barely notice how these two interns are being treated like guests of honor...well, maybe if whitney could pronounce givenchy it would be a bit more deserved.

posted by guest

Mar 25, 2008 3:23PM

I def yelled at the tv when lauren decided to wear her dress out, yeah ok shes a "fashion student" but COME ON. no no no no no! very bad decision!

Whitneys Givenchy slip up made me laugh and yell at her.. very sad, especially since she works with fashion.

I almost choked when I heard the song from the Sex and the City finale when they entered the Crillion... mainly because its my favourite song from the Sex and the City finale.. that and the moment was not right for it. very wrong. does anyone know who performs that song???

I love that you did this for the Hills, very smart! Are you going to do one for the return of Gossip Girl in April as well??

posted by jenayams

Mar 25, 2008 3:45PM

I wanted to punch whitney in the face for that "slip up". Is she retarded? I am really getting sick of this show, I could barely watch the whole thing. And what happened to Heidi's job? You can't take a pto because you broke up with your fiancee. The show is getting too predictable now. And out of all those clothes Lauren had she couldn't find anything else to put on? Seriously, it's getting stupid.

posted by guest

Mar 25, 2008 3:48PM

the sex and the city song, that was on the hills, is La Belle et le bad boy by mc solaar

posted by guest

Mar 25, 2008 3:48PM

The song was MC Solaar Le Belle et le Bad Boy.

posted by guest

Mar 25, 2008 3:51PM

We sat at home talking in stupid accents...

"Stoopid American guuuurls! Let's take them to the tacky Eiffel Tower! Then zay will have sex with us!"

posted by guest

Mar 25, 2008 3:56PM

Kelly Cutrone is most definitely the SH$T. She shoots first and asks questions later.

Also, "La belle et Le BadBoy" par MC Solaar is a classic and can be used whenever.

Fact: Karl's bodguardy is called Sebastien. Stefan is just a super hot driver in Paris.

posted by guest

Mar 25, 2008 4:32PM

all questions i've been asking myself!!!
and the kicker was the "Givenchy" moment. I mean who interns in magazines and fashion closets for 5 years and doesn't know how to say it right? I mean come on!!!!if the season is anything like the premier its gonna be one hell of a season. plenty of obviously "real" moments!!!

posted by porscha

Mar 25, 2008 4:35PM

thank you for the 20 minute short shower question. my thoughts exactly.

posted by guest

Mar 25, 2008 4:49PM

I find it really hard to believe that Whitney did not know how to pronounce Givenchy. But at the same time, she is an even bigger idiot for letting someone tell her to pronounce it incorrectly.
Same with Lauren - whether she is stupid enough to actually want to wear the dress to the bar or they told her to do it...why would she do it?!? SO bizarre. and like she didn't bring going out clothes...
Lauren is just REALLY stupid and bratty. she boggles my mind.
also, im surprised no one has commented that she was dropped off at daylight?

posted by guest

Mar 25, 2008 4:49PM

i wish sebastian had been in the hills!

heidi has had so much plastic surgery it hurts.
and if i had two alberta ferretti dresses i would not do that lc! so scripted. and also who would choose the ferretti store over collette!

posted by iloveyou

Mar 25, 2008 4:52PM

hahahahhaha my favorite part was when the driver knew how to pronounce givenchy and lauren and whitney did not. also that club was not 'fancy'... wasn't one of the band members wearing flannel???

posted by Kara

Mar 25, 2008 5:13PM

I couldn't even watch it. I'm sure I'll catch it on the many replays that MTV will shove at us but I don't want to.
I'll just watch the N for the rest of my life.

posted by guest

Mar 25, 2008 5:16PM

I was dying when I heard "GeeVenChee" come out of Whitney's mouth, my bf was like "what?" Apparently we aren't the only ones who think it's funny as hell!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGSJ2TkSRqI

posted by poseur

Mar 25, 2008 6:03PM

aren't these kids supposed to be rich?? "when will you get to see paris again?" you're kidding me?

Loved kimballs look after "i think you should pursue that"

posted by mmr421

Mar 25, 2008 6:05PM

doesn't anyone remember Heidi's ex-boyfriend, Jordan Eubanks? He was sooo much hotter than anything on the Hills, ever!

posted by Nathalie

Mar 25, 2008 6:48PM

Such a good post! to guest at 351pm - I did the same thing! I was talking in my french accent making fun of those girls and how ridiculous they are. Thanks to the guest who linked my youtube video, I put it there to so I could play it on my blog http://fashionintelligentsia.wordpress.com/ I'm glad someone found it though!

posted by guest

Mar 25, 2008 7:19PM

That was Karl Lagerfeld's bodyguard??!!!?!

posted by guest

Mar 25, 2008 7:42PM

nice Whitney voice-over when on the phone trying to get LC a new dress.

posted by alicelancaster

Mar 25, 2008 7:44PM

every time i watch that show i wonder WHY i did. NOTHING ever happens and it's all scripted, AND none of the CHARACTERS are interesting or intriguing. and yet, i can't wait for the next episode....go figure

posted by guest

Mar 25, 2008 7:53PM

It isn't princess beatrice of england it's beatrice bradlee, she and her twin sister josephine were both presented this year (josephine was the other girl featured in that segment). they're granddaughters to Ben Bradlee founder of the washington post.

posted by Halie

Mar 26, 2008 1:00AM

um. worst french accents I've ever heard (and I've heard some pretty bad ones). at least try. please.

posted by Halie

Mar 26, 2008 1:02AM

also, I betcha most as real interns, they woulda been fired before the end of the first season.

those guys were pretty hot, though.

posted by guest

Mar 26, 2008 9:40AM

this show is numbingly boring. please make it stop.

posted by guest

Mar 26, 2008 11:04AM

i can handle the "oh, my ex-boyfriend just happens to be with my ex-best friend in the exact same restaurant at the exact same time as me" deal, but the whole paris episode was a complete joke.

unless it's reality to wear a $15k dress (that kind of made lauren look like she was senior prom again, sry2say), get picked up by a french rockstar on his vespa after the most glamorous ball in the world, and ride around paris all night in the rain.

i mean, come on.

posted by guest

Mar 26, 2008 12:22PM

scripted or not.. I find it so addicting... and my first thought was "Bad Idea" about wearing the dress to the club.. Why wouldn't you take a dress to Paris.. so hard to believe that she couldn't find anything to wear..

posted by guest

Mar 26, 2008 3:58PM

i love that you guys noticed the "sex and the city' finale song in the episode!!! all i could think was "how dare they!" whilst simultaneously hoping to spot Mr. big in the background:)

posted by HHAS

Mar 26, 2008 6:12PM

Susan Aronson (Director of Admissions, FIDM): How would you characterize yourself as a high school student?

Heidi: I never did learn anything, I never went to school, I never did anything, I just went shopping and hung out.

~Season 1, Episode 1

This Hills Quote Guide is riddled with such hilarity:
http://takingit2thehills.wordpress.com/the-hills-quote-guide/

posted by guest

Mar 26, 2008 10:31PM

Check out LC's eye on fashion. It's pretty funny. I don't what qualifies her to be in the fashion industry. http://justjared.buzznet.com/2008/03/25/lauren-conrad-eye-on-you/

posted by guest

Mar 27, 2008 10:45PM

Why would Kelly Cutrone hire someone that doesn't know what Givenchy is? Givenchy isn't that obscure. Oh wait-Kelly Cutrone is going to get a shitload of PR because EVERYONE watches the Hills! She truly is genius...