Gossip Girl Guesses

Ok - we know, alright? We know Gossip Girl doesn't exactly qualify as news. We know we reference the show a lot as it is. We know it's probably weir
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Ok - we know, alright? We know Gossip Girl doesn't exactly qualify as news. We know we reference the show a lot as it is. We know it's probably weir
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Ok - we know, alright? We know Gossip Girl doesn't exactly qualify as news. We know we reference the show a lot as it is. We know it's probably weird to cancel Monday night plans to make sure we're parked on the couch at exactly 8pm. But you know what else we know? We know Gossip Girl's as good as everyone says it is, and not just for the fashion - yes, we love the plot lines, too. One of the best parts about Gossip Girl, other than the accessories, is that it's turning out to be a sort of murder mystery, and we've realized that all of the episodes are littered with clues. So allow us to indulge ourselves (and if the comments section is to be believed, to indulge you guys, too) by musing a bit on what we think is going to happen in the next two episodes. Please don't click through if you aren't up to speed with the show. Spoilers abound...

Obviously, the question of who Serena killed is the biggest mystery right now. Here are a couple guesses: Scenario 1: Something to consider: It's most likely, since this is cable television and since we have to continue to like Serena after this whole thing blows over, that Serena didn't kill anyone in the first degree sense. The tape in question begins with Georgina and the Unnamed Guy (UG) trying to get Serena in on a taped threesome. Serena is drunk and has just slept with Nate (if you listen closely to the bits of the tape from the last episode, you hear Georgina ask her "Hey Baby, how are the new Mr. and Mrs. Shepard?" to which Serena replies "I just did something so stupid" which means that the tape starts right after Serena's drunkenly slept with Nate at the Shepard wedding) so she's sort of confused. She's probably mildly into the threesome, only for a minute, before she tries to break free (this is when you hear on the tape that she's "too hot" almost like she's struggling). Now, it's also very likely, since this is old Serena and Georgina, that they are on some pretty hard drugs. At some point, the guy probably starts to OD, and since Serena and Georgina are young and stupid, they decide to just leave him and act like they were never there. The only way that they could get away with this, of course, is if the DNA of many people is all over the room, which could certainly be the case if Chuck or somebody threw a little Constance Billard party up in one of the suites (we think it's safe to assume that the Shepard wedding happened at a big hotel). So, this would definitely make them murderers but it would also explain how they've gotten away with it. UG was probably found OD'd, and people probably just assumed that he died partying too hard. Also, this would explain Georgina's strange gifts to Serena: Champagne (what she was so messed up on when she went behind Blair's back with Nate and then got into a threesome), sex videos and handcuffs (like the threesome itself), and cocaine (what UG probably OD'd on). The problem with Scenario 1? We think this version is just a little too trite for Josh Schwartz. He must have something better up his sleeve. Scenario 2: Maybe during the beginning of the sex tape, Serena tries to break free, but UG gets aggressive in trying to get her to stay. Serena freaks out, picks up a heavy hotel telephone or something like that, hits him over the head in just the right way, and he dies. This is plausible because it's exactly what you'd do in that situation, and it makes it murder in self-defense, which again makes the Serena character redeemable. But, of course, there are tons of problems with this one. What did they do with the body? How did they clean the room? Who was this guy so that he's never ever mentioned on the show as a friend that was killed? (We're betting he was random, actually...) Most importantly, how in the world were they not caught? We've toyed with the idea that maybe Serena just thinks that she killed someone, that maybe Georgina is completely screwing with her. But we doubt it. We think Serena is at least smart enough to make sure of something like that before running away for a year, but also, we think there might have been a clue about this in the Hi, Society episode. The song at the dance kept repeating "Better lock it in your pocket, taking this one to the grave...Two can keep a secret if one of them is dead." Also, when Lily asks Georgina at the family dinner what she's doing in town, she responds, "Just killing time." These two scenarios are our best guesses. But here's some stuff we actually would bet money on: 1. That Nate is going to unravel the whole Sarah mystery to Vanessa and Dan. He's hanging around with Vanessa, so he'll eventually run into her (Georgina could probably never guess that Nate would be going out with someone so random to their group). But, we're pretty sure that this will happen after Dan starts to take an interest in Georgina. 2. That Dan, like Jenny, will decide that the UES life is just too messed up for him, and that he's washing his hands of all of them. We're betting both of them end up going to Hudson with their mom for the summer. 3. That Rufus tries to bust up Lily's wedding after he realizes that Dan and Serena are no longer together. 4. That Chuck and Blair will spend a lot of time together over the summer (because it just has to be that way). So. If you couldn't tell already, we spend a whole lot of time wondering about this show. If you think you can take a pretty educated guess as to what's going to happen, please, do share. We're dying to know.