Oh, Make Me Over

May 15, 2008 @ 12:16pm

marilyn monroe bathing suit.jpg A reader just sent this pretty interesting conversation on female beauty from Wowowow.

The best part's when Lily Tomlin (remember her?) admits she used to pad her hips when she was 13 or 14 years old in her quest to emulate Marilyn Monroe, the beauty standard of her time.

I've never done anything quite like that in trying to look like what I think is better than myself, but it still makes me think of a lot of things - all the makeup I wore in seventh grade trying to look made-up and womanly, and the trouble I go through now to just look fresh-faced and natural.

Or the fact that I refuse to dye stray grays because it's my way of drawing the line in the sand, kind of like saying, "I refuse to put any more effort into looking like how people think I should."

Or that when I was sixteen, I refused to get braces at my parents' behest because I thought the change in my appearance would just be too much, too far from what I really look like, even though I hated my very juvenile smile, a decision I wasn't even totally comfortable with until a couple years ago.

Has your idea of beauty changed as you've gotten older?

Or even better - what kind of stuff did you used to do when you were younger in your quest for beauty?

posted by guest

May 15, 2008 1:04PM

first: i love your blog. i'm brazillian but i live in luxembourg :)

now when i was a teenager i really never ever used make up, i didnt know how it worked and i never thought it was for me... silly!
but as i got older i could never leave the house to go out clubbing at night without glitter all over my eyes.
i LOVED it!
the other day i bought this glitter mascara at sephora just to remember the good old days... it has a brush that helps you spread around your eyes if you want to... i only used it once, but it was cute to remember...

posted by guest

May 15, 2008 1:22PM

Oh lord I was a hot mess.

I grew up in Germany, but I am American and I went to an American school and my goal was to look as different from the kids as went to school with as possible. To that end, I wore the loundest and brightest colors and patterns in the world, grew my hair to the waist, outrightly refused to wear any makeup at all (or to shave, but that situation has been rectified), and owned not a single pair of jeans. I wore things that looked like debutante gowns. I had dresses that looked like they were completely constructed from household materials (saran wap + tinfoil = hot to trot). Yikes.

posted by kimmi

May 15, 2008 1:32PM

I once shaved my arms, when I was 14 I think. I'm still trying to get over our culture's disapproval of hair anywhere other than your head.

posted by enicke_

May 15, 2008 1:55PM

I'm in Mexico... I was extremely pin skinny before puberty, and when I finally got there, I felt embarrassed, for some reason, so I'd use baggy pants, oversized t-shirts, no make-up at all... a complete tomboy. Then I entered High-School, and skirts and make up and hot flat irons were my idea of pretty and wonder.

Now, entering my 20's I feel more comfortable with what I like, so it was another drastic change. I love my hair naturally long and curly, some blush and mascara, and whatever I feel like wearing. It can be skinny jeans, converse and a t-shirt, or a hippy-dress. It doesn't matter anymore, it's just comforting to be in your own skin at last.

posted by guest

May 15, 2008 4:12PM

when i was fifteen i couldnt drive yet to get my eyebrows waxed, and i didnt know that tweezers were so crucial, so to tame my eyebrows i would take the scissors from the first aid kit and cut away the stray hairs. I don't remember even having a clue that eyebrows should be "shaped" - i just cut whatever i didnt like. anyways, i ended up with mismatched eyebrows, and i cringe at the pictures for that whole year before i got my license, i looked like a half wit.

posted by guest

May 15, 2008 4:33PM

What a great discussion to have! My concept of beauty has definitely changed. When I was younger, I thought beauty was what I saw on tv and in magazines, which of course, only promote one concept of the super-skinny model with implants and no uniqueness. As I have gotten older and more confident, I have a broader sense of what is beautiful- I am more accepting of variation among women. I think all body types, features, and fashion styles can be beautiful, because what makes us beautiful is our individuality- that which is uniquely us! I wish there were more media outlets that would send a message of a diverse sense of beauty so that we didn't always have to compare ourselves to the same homogenous-looking Victorias secret model-type.

posted by purly

May 15, 2008 6:06PM

When I was younger I wasn't allowed to use cosmetics. So basically these days I sometimes overcompensate.

posted by guest

May 15, 2008 6:35PM

i grew up a multi-ethnic girl in a 99% white/mostly irish town around boston. kids wouldn't sit next to me on the bus, and they'd ask things like, "why are you tan year-round?" so i grew up wanting to be skinny and pale and waifish. i remember crying when natalie portman was on the cover of 'seventeen,' because i wanted so badly to look like her.

it's pretty much followed me ever since, until this past january, when i was diagnosed with MS and realized that my body is a delicate, perishable instrument that can be very easily damaged or broken. now, i sometimes wish i were taller or thinner, but most of the time i just tell myself that if my body "works" properly, then i'm grateful.

posted by guest

May 15, 2008 8:16PM

mmm all i ever wanted was breasts when i was 12-13... i broke five feet halfway through the eighth grade when all of my friends were 5'4-5'10. one day in the eighth grade a guy in my class asked me why i was wearing a bra because it's not like i needed one... rough day. seven years later, all i want is to be flat again haha.

posted by guest

May 15, 2008 8:21PM

I started wearing hardcore eye makeup in seventh grade (still don't leave the house without it - EVER), and around the age of 13 made the executive decision not to fix my teeth because it would interfere with how I really looked. Of course now, in my 30s, with the world in the ridiculously critical state that it's in, I think about Veneers and Invisilign, and lasering broken blood vesselts, and Botox, and anything else that's not plastic surgery that will fix whatever's less than perfect. Sweet.

posted by 808Kate

May 15, 2008 8:26PM

It's awesome how diverse and interesting the comments so far have been. lovin the multicultural perspectives, guys :)

I'm from the intensely vanilla town of Vienna, VA but moved to Hawaii a few years ago. When I first got here I was surrounded by gorgeous asian/pacific islander girls, which made me uncomfortable being comparatively tall, very pale and freckled.

I'm all right now, though. No more beach marathons and Maui-Babe browning lotion for me. Hooray for ginger haoles!

posted by silhouette

May 15, 2008 11:48PM

i also shaved my arms when i was about 12.. i don't know why. i just got a little carried away with the razor and the fact that american society does frown upon hair anywhere else but your head. stupid decision...

i grew up in a small town in the midwest and for some reason, in middle school, it was fashionable to wear tube socks and adidas sandals (i cringe) with athletic shorts... most of the time coupled with awesome WHITE eyeliner.

i'm sure we all looked like freakish clones of each other.

i also never wore makeup and pulled my hair back in a not-so-cute ponytail everyday.

the thing that has changed most is that i used to follow trends a lot more, i think to be "popular." now i couldn't care less what another person is wearing, i wear what i feel comfortable in.

posted by guest

May 16, 2008 10:12AM

I assume by "reader just sent in" you mean "WOW publicist just sent in"? They (the WOW publicist) sent me the same "thought you'd find this fascinating..." tidbit in the hopes of getting some free publicity/links to the site (which isn't half bad). I just wish you'd been more clear that the info came from a paid Wow source, not some impartial reader...

posted by guest

May 16, 2008 11:39AM

I remember at 13 being put on steroids and struggling desperately against weight gain and be thin. In high school I decided I didn’t care what people thought about my appearance and continued that attitude into my mid 20s thinking that no one would find me attractive anyway. Now I have realized that we all have our own beauty and just try and carry myself well, wear basic makeup and look put together.

posted by guest

May 16, 2008 9:03PM

I'm 16 right now, based in New York. Personally, I think a lot of New York teenagers who are interested in fashion have symptoms of looking (and acting) older than they really are. I am regularly mistaken for being 20. I live in Brooklyn but go to school on the Upper East Side (which reminds me a bit too much of Gossip Girl); in reality, it's a very strange experience because in Brooklyn, everyone is so laid back (or pretends to be laid back), whereas near my school, there's just so much ostentatious wealth. I think this accounts for a lot of my maturity, and other teens in New York, too. On one hand, this disturbs me a bit (am I missing out on something I shouldn't?), and on the other hand, it thrills me to be seen as more mature than others my age. In terms of beauty, I feel like I've seen so many fashion editorials that I've really honed my personal aesthetic. Again, it's about the balance between being able to get away with things just because I'm young, and having good taste. Also, I'm the only 16 year old I know who religiously wears sunscreen. I think my skin will thank me in 30 years.

posted by guest

May 16, 2008 10:06PM

i remember spending probably hundreds of dollars throughout high school and college maintaining that tan "surfer girl" aesthetic. i wasted so much money at tanning salons and hours and hours baking under the sun and destroyed my skin to live up to the idea that tan is beautiful. there was a point that i felt afraid of seeing how my body looked pale, and i almost forgot what my original skin color was. it sounds crazy, but it took years for me to find the confidence within myself to love me for me and love the skin i am in. and while it sucks to have to now deal with the effects of sun damage to my skin, i'm glad that i now realize that looking healthy and natural is most beautiful. when you truly feel good about yourself, it radiates. that is true beauty!

posted by guest

May 18, 2008 1:13AM

8:16 - i am exactly the same. I was flat until my sophomore year in high school and would wear padded bras under my sports bras during gym class to make it appear I had bigger boobs. Then i went through puberty, much later than all my friends, and now I'm stuck with D's and have to wear two sports bras!

I am also very very pale and would put bronzer all over my face to try and look more like my Italian friends. Unfortunately the bronzer was many shades darker then my skin tone and only on my face so I was left with an unsightly makeup line on my jaw.

I also used to straighten my already straight hair everyday before school. Now that i'm in college and don't have time for that I realize how much healthier my hair is that I'm not using heat on it everyday.

posted by guest

May 21, 2008 12:28AM

When I was young, my idea of beauty was soooo generic. I just wanted to look like a glamazon. lol.

Now that I'm older I realize that grace and confidence is the world's best kept beauty secret. I've learned to just rock my individuality.