Dissecting Gwyneth's GOOP

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Waiting for us in our Inbox yesterday, was a gem from the mind of our girl crush Gwyneth Paltrow. Like we told you, G has alot of stuff to tell us about life and shares it in the form of a sporadic newsletter (i.e. whenever she wants). This time, the topic was GET, her generic term for shopping and fashion, and that should tell you a lot. 1. Before she had children, she had an hour in the morning to "stand in front of my closet and try to figure out what to wear". Seriously? The woman filmed a movie a minute, and managed, but now that she has two children and two nannies, and makes a sporadic movie (i.e. whenever she wants), she can't find the time? 2. House slippers? I get it, you're running around with your kids, but in slippers? How about those cute Repetto flats you reccomend a few scrolls down? 3. She references wearing a uniform in high school. This is significant because she rarely alludes to her days at Spence, and all I keep thinking is she must have been a Serena. (cont'd..)

4. Could she be any cuter? And if you squint your eyes, you see Kate Lanphear, our other girl crush, which makes it even more fun. Plus she namechecks grey tanks, Margiela, platform boots, studded things, and a neutral pallette - Lanphear-isms, all. 5. The Juicy jacket. Really? This is gratuitous, when we know she wears the Balenciaga version. You already put in the Margiela jacket Gwyn, go for it. 6. Do you really like the Tod's stuff? Or is this paid for by Diego Della Valle? She also mentions Vivier, another Tod's brand, so call us conspiricists, but someone has to pay for the photographer, graphic designer, and everyone else that makes the site possible. 7. But what we really want to know is, can you recommend a tank from The Row (we're guessing at least $250) and the same tank from American Apparel (definitely under $25) with a clean conscience? And open-toe boots? Can you do that with a straight face? --BRETT KANE