posted by darcykins

May 06, 2009 2:17PM

if you like your boyfriend and your boyfriend doesn't like your style that's a problem.
i'm not afriad to compromise though;
if my boyfriend tells me not to wear purple jeans to dinner with his coworkers i respect him.

i also think that changing one's style with one's boyfriend can be good and not odd or sad. you might borrow some of their items, or get gifts that they buy for you. maybe they teach you to take more risks or introduce you to a different fashion echelon.

posted by nycshoegal

May 06, 2009 2:30PM

well, if you never had a "style" to begin with as it were the case with aforementioned Katie Holmes......

posted by guest

May 06, 2009 2:44PM

maybe katie always dreamed of dressing like a glam-bot but never had the financial means to until tom? as creative as i try to be with my limited clothing choices (hi, im broke grad student), i know that if i want to rock my dream outfits i would need a little extra cash flow to get there.

posted by guest

May 06, 2009 2:46PM

so... your boyfriend's extra cash? i think this is more about changing your style in a relationship, not your disposable income. both situations obviously depend on the circumstances...

posted by RashomonRebel

May 06, 2009 2:53PM

The foundation of my style has never changed because of the relationship I was in. I agree with what #2 said about compromises. Like, if my GF wanted me to wear Brooks Brothers to her conservative PR event instead of the more awesome rope-shouldered Bottega Veneta that's going to stand out, then I wouldn't cry over it.

The biggest peeve I have when it comes to couples dressing is when a couple goes out at night, you see that the girl has put some effort in her hair, top/bottom, shoes, makeup and she looks smashing but her guy's wearing jeans and a stripe button-down, UNTUCKED. I mean, I'm not asking for matchy-matchy but come on!

posted by shharvin

May 06, 2009 3:22PM

it depends.

normally you're introduced to new things when you're in a new relationship, and that could have an effect on your style and how it evolves.

that said, if you're dating someone who wants to change your style or tell you what to wear, you should get out. you should be with someone who likes you for who you already are, not what you could be. it could also be a control issue that could get worse and possibly dangerous, in which case you should get out asap

posted by neenersh

May 06, 2009 4:15PM

I feel very passionate about my loud resounding NO!

In my teenage years, I always noticed girls would change their style according to the guy she was dating and now as a married woman I notice that other married women abide by their husband's "rules." My sister-in-law is not allowed to wear earrings because her husband says she looks too "different" with them on. Another sister-in-law cannot wear purple because MY BROTHER says it's an old lady color. What does he know?

Holy crap, if my husband had "rules" I'd smack him upside the head. Ridiculous. If you change your style for your romantic interest you are insecure and the man either doesn't like you for who you are or you are insecure about your relationship.

Bottom line, dress for you and only you!

posted by guest

May 06, 2009 7:02PM

I think that changing your style along with your new relationship is nothing but fun! Its cute when couples somewhat match/have similar style, and most likely the guy is not going to be the one to adapt the way that he dresses because he wont even care, so its up to the girl to change if she wants.
I think its always nice to take yourself someplace different with your clothes every once in a while anyways, and theres ever a better chance than a circumstance like this.
I beleive that TRUE personal style will always be there anyways, you may just merely change themes for a while, and theres nothing wrong with that.

posted by guest

May 06, 2009 11:41PM

Rashomon, I could not agree more about the untucked button-down thing! I live in New England and it seems to be the douchebag uniform here, along with carpenter jeans and white sneakers....ugh.

Although I change my style for no man, I have found that more and more casual pieces are creeping into my wardrobe....

posted by RashomonRebel

May 07, 2009 10:01AM

I feel you #10 but be blessed that you are up there and not exposed to your so-called "douchebag uniform" here with many variations from the guys coming in from New Jersey and Long Island.

Anyone who combines carpenter jeans with white sneakers deserves a severe caning from a government official in Singapore. Let's hope the white sneakers are not Tretorn.

posted by guest

May 07, 2009 1:13PM

i think seeing someone new and letting their style inform yours is awesome, but i have had so many guys tell me they don't like me wearing certain things - heels, for instance (i'm tall) or high-waisted pants ( . .. not sure why) and it makes me so mad. when someone i'm dating starts trying to control what i wear it's a pretty good sign they're not right - like when one guy called what i was wearing "interesting." at least it's not the tshirt and jeans you're wearing!

posted by guest

May 07, 2009 1:36PM

More dresses, prettier underwear, a normal female response.

posted by guest

May 07, 2009 1:39PM

When I was younger, think college years I would usually wear clothes that men would find appealing, simple fitted, slightly revealing and stray from my fashion forward style that was "a little much" for my small town college boyfriend. Now I couldn't care less. I wear what I like!

posted by guest

May 08, 2009 1:23PM

Get ready for a rant.

It’s passages like this that make me with I never bothered to read this blog. It’s seems increasingly devoid of any professionally useful information, instead opting for pointless-sentiment, sensationalism, and general juvenility. It’s almost like it was written by my (since terminated) starry-eyed intern.

Look, if you don’t already know, the people you see in US Weekly, Star, or on ET, Access Hollywood (or whatever) are walking-talking-COMMODITIES. There style will change depending on who is advising them and what venture they are supporting.

The very fact that the author equated some sort of empathy to Katie Holmes makes me wonder: from which remote Midwestern-trailer did Carson Griffith receive his training (and by training I mean watching reruns of Dawson’s Creek)? Because, the naivety expressed in these paragraphs is so detached from the reality of PR, or even journalism that there is no way he could have any tangible experience. Perhaps he should save such stimulating questions for his Jr. High GLBT mixer or perhaps during commercial breaks of The Hills.

Seriously, Fashionista: who is your audience? Obviously, no one that actually works in the fashion industry. My guess is: spectators.

Fare well.

-I Want My Two Minuets Back

posted by darcykins

May 08, 2009 1:31PM

oh wow, guest 15, that was horrible.
what sticks out most to me is assumption that Carson is a he and the comment about a GLBT mixer. WTF?
Go get some therapy, this is just a fashion blog and it will continue without you.

posted by RashomonRebel

May 08, 2009 1:49PM

Actually, this has been my favorite post so far. Thanks Carson.

I don't think #15 is real because there were just too many spelling errors.

#15, you can't get your 2 minutes back because you spent 30 minutes trying to write it.

posted by guest

May 08, 2009 3:36PM

Although I do think maintaining your own sense of style is important, I also feel like if you're inspired by your boyfriend to wear newer or better things, then run with it. Also, I agree with guest #1 in that sometimes your lifestyle just changes. Case in point: I went to more bars and wore more dresses while single, but now that I have a boyfriend I don't go out as much, so don't feel the need to dress up as much. But I am 100% happy with that choice. Plus, I find that my own sartorial inclinations are morphing from girly dresses to something more streamlined and androgynous. Overt girliness looks dated to me now; I'd much rather wear jeans, blazer, and a gauzy scarf than a gauzy empire/maternit dress.

posted by guest

May 08, 2009 3:40PM

RashomonRebel - Oh my God, that was my life for 3 years. I'd really go the whole nine yards, but my boyfriend would not get out of his 'uniform' of ill-fitting jeans (too big in the waist, too short in the leg), tall white socks, and XL shirts with The Simpsons humor on them. Good Lord, he was 6' 3" 165lbs. The man was a MEDIUM. One time we went to a formal at my college and he decided against the tie I had suggested to wear one with a huge stain!

To respond to the question, I think it's important to retain a sense of identity through one's clothing, but sometimes your man doesn't want to see you drowning in layers like an Olsen twin, regardless of whether the play of proportion and texture is incredible. (My ex-boyfriend is currently dating a girl who wears Uggs, tight tank tops, and Northface.) So, if you have the right to tell him to wear another damn tie because that one is hideous and stained, then he has the right to veto the Alaia gladiators for a stroll around Central Park.

posted by guest

May 08, 2009 4:46PM

Commenter #15 made me laugh at the ridiculously stupid rant; bad day dear?

with=wish (what a confusing sentence...)

RashomonRebel your feedback on this rant was incredible- laughing with tears!

posted by guest

May 08, 2009 5:52PM

#15: I went to school with Carson at William & Mary, so I'm pretty sure that's as far away from a Midwestern trailer as you can get. She has an International business degree, which you obviously don't have any form of degree, business nor journalism, by the way that post was typed.

PS: And Carson is a girl, not a HE. A very cute one may I add :)

posted by guest

May 09, 2009 8:11PM

The way you dress in a relationship can also reflect different sides of yourself that you want to explore. I have a multi-ethnic background, and I found that I became uber-preppy when I went out with a more straight-laced Canadian guy, and then experimented with floatier pieces in earthier colours when a more exotic BF brought out my latin side. So culture must definitely come into play.

posted by guest

May 09, 2009 8:22PM

i hope this job is a career change cuz i really can't imagine how this is even an entry level job for someone with an international business degree....lol but its still a cool job

i think individual style is not static no matter how defined it is for you. therefore, dating someone new/having a new relationship introduces a new facet into your life so naturally there are changes in who you are (thus what you wear and how you express yourself changes as well). also, couples end up dressing alike because they tend to do things more as a couple and end up having the same lifestyle.

as for katie holmes, her old style doesn't match her new life so naturally she has changed. let's face it, dawson's creek didn't put her in custom armani dresses even if that is what she really wanted.

posted by guest

May 12, 2009 11:27AM

Sometimes a relationship can change the dynamic in which you view your life, open you up to new asthetics and be an exciting time to try new things. New relationships and new styles are just markers for a change within and often happen coincidently. But yeah, Katie looks pretty out of place here.