Someone’s started a rumor that Sarah Jessica Parker’ll be the new face of Halston. Let’s count all the reasons we bet on never.

1. Halston is a disaster. Though we’re sure Marios Schwab will end its curse and do something brilliant, a brand can’t have a face for a collection that doesn’t exist (yet).

2. Last time Harvey chose a face, Rachel Zoe, to be associated with a brand, it failed. It really, really failed.

3. As if fashion wasn’t sick enough of celebrity, whatever comes down Lindsay Lohan’s runway for Ungaro this week will probably put off even the most celeb-friendly of the fashion world for a moment.

4. It’d be silly to pay Sarah Jessica Parker to be the face of a brand when Carrie Bradshaw’s been photographed wearing it all over Manhattan, for free, and will be seen on every screen in the same dresses come May.

What’d we miss?