So it’s not the newsiest of days in the fashion world, but even if we were slammed, I would have to find time to write about the book that just arrived at the office.

We get lots of random press releases, etc around here, but children’s books with a fashion angle…not so much. Until today.

I opened the package to find Tales from Brooks Brothers: Introducing Henry’s Unsuitable Adventure. The premise is a little bit Mannequin meets From the Mixed Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler, except creepier and for little kids.

Children’s books are all about the message like learning to share or making new friends. Apparently this one is about indoctrinating the youth of America with a love of Brooks Brothers.

Here’s how our story begins: “Some kids hate to shop for clothes. They immediately go into Boneless Whiner Mode. But I love it. My mom says I was born in a three-piece suit. That’s a joke, of course. I wasn’t wearing a vest.” How does Brooks Brothers enter in you ask? Well, Henry attends the Megabuckley School for Well-Dressed Boys and has to go to the store every couple of weeks (!) to get his new uniform. One night, he stays because “it’s so much fun at Brooks Brothers, I never want to leave.” Um, okay.

Seriously the store is mentioned on like every other page. And there’s a mannequin that comes to life (Mr. Manny Quinn, har har) and somehow gets out of BB, becomes famous instantly, is harassed by reporters and paparazzi, gets hit by a bus, and then gets a holiday in his honor.

WTF? If someone can explain to me the appeal/message for kiddos, I would love to hear it because this book is freaking me and intern Kate out big time.