Confession time–When I moved to New York last August, I was completely bald. (Full disclosure: It wasn’t by choice. I had just finished seven months of chemotherapy treatments, and I made an industrious effort to cover it up.)
So seeing this picture of Agyness Deyn at Coachella brought back some powerful feelings, since my hair was exactly that length when I decided to lose the wig and go au natural.
Agyness looks perfectly girlie in her pink sundress, but the biggest problem I had with my buzzed hair was feeling less feminine and put together than I did with long hair. Even if I was heavily made-up or wearing the most figure flattering dress, it felt like there was something missing. My boyfriend would cringe when I wore my leather jacket or a pair of biker boots because, let’s face it, I looked a bit like a skinhead.
My family and friends repeatedly assured me that they loved my new look, and a good number of them even suggested that I keep it short. I’ve been known for my impossibly thick, curly hair my whole life, and it was hard adjusting to life without it. Between being young, and new to the big city, my lack of self-assurance caused me to walk around in fear that everyone was staring at me, judging.
One of my lowest points came after a shopping trip to Barneys–a place where statement-making fashion’s encouraged–when two snooty shoppers glared at me and sneered, “Oh…my…God…she shaved her HEAD!”
They judged me as if I was Britney Spears-circa-meltdown, rather than Natalie Portman-circa-V for Vendetta. In reality, the latter was the graceful look I was desperately trying to achieve.
Now my hair is three inches long! Much longer than Aggy’s and I like having a short ‘do. Plus, since it’s long enough to style, it’s actually fun.
I don’t think you need to be a supermodel to rock such a severe style–although cut cheekbones and an unforgettable face don’t hurt–but it takes an enviable level of confidence and a thick skin to voluntarily shave your head. You will get a reaction, and it won’t always be positive. And besides the obvious joy of being so low maintenance, I don’t think there’s anything that would make me shave my head again.
But what I’m dying to know is, would you?
Tags: Agyness Deyn, Coachella
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I commented before, and I would like to add, those women at Barney's were clearly nouveau riche, tacky, and insecure. Poor manners like that are just embarrassing. Keep your head up.
Troll. Nothing to see.
I'm sorry those shoppers tried to make you feel bad. I hope you held your head high and didn't let their nastiness bother you: Confidence, charm and a smile are the most beautiful features on any person. Snark and nastiness are the ugliest accessories a woman can wear. And hair is just hair.
Here's hoping your cancer is in full remission and you are feeling A-plus!
Love this article, Alyssa. I'm sure sharing your own experience will comfort others. So glad you are well now! Keep the articles coming!
Yes! =)
I currently have a very high undercut and following a trip away to a goth festival in mid May I will be shaving it all off in prep. for growing it out into a 'normal' style for the lovely world of work. =/
~xx
I had a similar experience when I chose to stop wearing my wig following my stem cell transplant.
I live in an affluent town in Westchester County, and you would not believe the snubs I received from many people – the same people who would have warmly greeted me when I had a full head of hair – as they knew me from various community organizations and my kids' schools.
Clothing may not 'make the man' — but even today, there are people who still judge by appearance.
Sad.
i keep dreaming about it… considering doing it for the world's greatest shave here in Syd Australia next yr to raise funds for cancer research :)
Alyssa, found your comments very interesting. The trouble with chemo baldness rather than head shaving is that you also lose eyebrows and lashes – the effect is subtle but very different and looks much stranger to most people. When I went out bald I was approached by a couple from some weird religious cult – I decided to wear a wig after that. Like you I wanted to go a bit skinhead with docs and leather (I fancied my bald head) but you get bad reactions. When you are feeling sick and not up to par most times you just want to blend in and not have to talk about illness.
I cut all my hair off (not shaved but just a couple inches long all the way around) just shy of a year ago. And I had really long, thick pretty hair prior to doing it. A couple of people who saw my driver's license at the register of stores would say, “why did you cut all your beautiful hair off?” Because it's just hair. It grows back. And it's fun to try out something new. To be honest, I actually feel WAY more feminine with my short hair. Men and women are always commenting on the cut. Short hair is empowering. It's just so liberating to step out of the women-should-have-long-hair stereotype and show them short can be both sassy and sexy. I think women, like those you encountered at Barney's, made snide comments and jude because they are too chicken shit to let the long hair go. But we short hair girls no there's a lot more to us then just locks of long hair.
I'm from there too… I definitely can see this happening
loved the piece. and women can be bitches. be a bitch back =] I've never shaved my head, but I've recently started sporting a jawline-length flippy thing that looks ah-mazing, after graduating from high school with hair that went past my boobs. i'm thinking about going even shorter when i go home and get it trimmed. i find it funny when people ask, “how did you work up the courage to cut your hair! I'd never be brave enough to do that!” uh, it's hair. it grows back. and a ponytail can hind a multitude of sins while growing anything out….
i shaved my hair last year because i wanted to start wearing it naturally again. (i needed to cut all of the relaxed hair out) it was miserable at first and i went through the whole 'feeling unfeminine' thing as well. but a year later, it's grown out quite a bit and im really enjoying getting reacquainted with my natural curls.
2 words. GRACE JONES!