Rants
Attention, All Potential Brides-to-Be: Finding a Wedding Dress is a Pain in the Ass
By Lauren Sherman
About a month ago, I got engaged.
And it’s exciting! I’m looking forward to getting married, having a party, and spending the rest of my life with this awesome person.
But let me warn you, finding a dress is a pain in the rear. At least for those who don’t want to look like a vanilla cupcake.
I think the dresses at J.Crew are gorgeous, but they’re just not me. We’re having a very casual wedding, so I know I want something short…with sleeves, too. Net-a-Porter has some beautiful options; it’s the only place on the high end where I’ve found pieces I like, but nothing’s been quite right.
I figured I’d wait until the Spring 2011 collections premiered to really start my search. That is, until I spied Look #8 from Erdem’s Spring 2010 runway.
Click here to see it. (I didn’t want to use the image in this story in case my fiance reads it.)
This is my dress. It’s my dress. I emailed the image to Britt and she wrote back immediately, exclaiming: “IT’S PERFECT!!! CALL THEM RIGHT NOW!” So I called Erdem’s studio the next morning. They told me where the dress–called “Kimi”–was stocked in the US. I called the three stores. It was sold out.
I’m heading to London for a wedding next week, so I told the folks at Erdem that I’d be willing to pay extra to have the dress produced specifically for me. I discovered that A) The manufacturer does not have time to produce the dress by March of 2011 and B) Even if I do find the dress in my size when at Harvey Nichols or wherever in the UK, it was produced sans-sleeves. The retail version is strapless, actually. Tear.
Yet, after talking to several brides and engaged women, I realize I’m not as picky as I originally thought. A friend of mine–who loves J.Crew but wants something more unique for her wedding–can’t even find anything she likes that has straps, let alone sleeves. And I’ve learned that many brides end up buying multiple dresses because they just can’t find the right one.
This is the last thing I have to say on the subject. Traditional designers: Please start making white/off-white versions of your favorite dresses. Women will buy them. Bridal designers: Not everyone wants a strapless, a-line ensemble.
Indeed, fashion needs to give bridal wear a swift kick in the…you know what. I’ve already said it too many times today.
Tags: Erdem, J. Crew, Net-a-Porter, Weddings
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It took me forever to find a dress with sleeves, so disappointing that designers all think we want strapless. Finally, I had to settle.. but at the end of the day – it was perfect. Good luck with your search.
Lauren, why don't you try Lovely Bridal Shop in the West Village. They have really cute, non-traditional dresses and I've heard it has a great atmosphere.
Here is their websites : http://www.lovelybride.com/lovelybride.html
Congrats, Lauren! And while this doesn't add to the convo, I am obsessed with “Say Yes To The Dress.”
The Erdem is gorgeous! I am a serious fashion girl and I am sooo uninspired by some bridal gowns. I have been to many a wedding where the dresses are strapless white ballgowns, irrelevant of the bride's personal style and am over it! Perhaps you should track down a fab dressmaker for your nuptials?!
It seems like a dress that could be replicated with a talented seamstress … and probably wouldn't cost much more than retail. If that's the dress you want – you should have it. Plus, who wouldn't love a custom dress for their wedding??
That said – I got married in March and LOVED my J Crew wedding dress. I added some custom touches so it wouldn't be so OTR… and it was perfect.
I am SO TIRED of wedding dresses that are strapless with big skirts. It doesn't matter if they cost 100$ or 10,000$, they all look the same, and they're BORING!
Yay you for wanting something original!
Seriously, find your own seamstress. Commission something from a recent design school graduate. Surely you have the connections to find someone talented.
Shopping for a wedding dress was actually really fun for me, but then again I wanted a giant princess dress so it wasn't as challenging to find the right thing.
My friend designed her own dress and had it made, she said it was pretty affordable to get made by a seamstress actually. Since you already have a look in mind, I think you could definitely do that. There are some amazing bridal fabric shops in the garment district.
Whatever you do, best of luck to you!
Congratulations! If you are lucky enough to find it, maybe you could personalize it and add on your own lace sleeves?
omg, that show is AWESOME.
i just looked at the link. it is a beautiful dress. i hope you are able to have it or another one that is equally wonderful. i know a fantastic lady who made my close friend's wedding dress from a vintage pattern if you ever want something custom made.
and regarding the show, it is a train wreck/nightmare combo with touches of warm moments. i love the guy that works there that is a consultant. the gowns are outrageous and typical but the drama is incredible.
My friend Tanesha's wedding dress was made from a Vionnet pattern by the loveliest lady…
that dress is gorgeous! I WANT IT! i hope you can find it!
Have you seen Lanvin's bridal collection? It's kind of the best thing ever.
http://www.style.com/fashionshows/powersearch?d…
I'd just look for a seamstress to help you design/create the dress you're looking for because–barring Lanvin and that Erdem number–you're right, EVERYTHING is the same.
I have to second and third the idea of finding seamstress to make your own dress – I wanted a nontraditional dress so that's the route I chose, and it's MUCH more affordable and less of a headache than trying to find a pre-designed option. (Of course, the person I used no longer has a studio in NYC, otherwise I'd recommend them!)
I hear you. I spent months (and spanned 3 cities) searching for the perfect wedding dress since I didn't want to go traditional bridal. I ended up finding it…but it was blue…and there was only one dress left in my size in the entire US. They shipped it cross-country to me a week before my wedding (seriously!) but I still love it more every time I look at my wedding pics. So have no fear– you'll find something fabulous!
Congratulations! I went to Gary Graham's shop, tried on just one dress and bought it on the spot. He also has stunning fancy belts and jewelry. I did ALL of my bridal shopping in, like, an hour. And my dress, for me, is Perfect. And it's totally unique!
So don't be afraid to shop outside of traditional wedding dress venues. It worked for me and I couldn't be more thrilled!
Now Lauren, I know coming from me this won't mean much (being the slightly fuddyduddy editrix that I am), but trust me, the dress is the least memorable part of the day! (I'd predixt even for someone that loves fashion as much as you do.) Find something you'll be comfortable in and that you can move around in. There's so much hugging on your wedding day xoxo
But Ann that dress is perfect! I'll be able to move around! It's short! I want to see pix of yours! xo
But Ann that dress is perfect! I'll be able to move around! It's short! I want to see pix of yours! xo
Girls, I've been searching high and low for the perfect wedding dress and finally found a beautiful long gown with lace sleeves from DELPHINE MANIVET. Although since I'm getting married in Paris, I need two dresses – another for the civil ceremony… Dilemma. Thinking of a little dress from Isabel Marant with a blazer. I agree, that finding the perfect dress is tough… x
I bet a fabulous designer is going to see this post and offer to make you a dress! Or better yet, Erdem will.
absolutely ADORE that dress, surprisingly perfect for a wedding dress too! There was afeature in british vogue the other month about finding a wedding dress and one of those girls went with erdem too. have a great day :)
Not only is finding & successfully obtaining a dress you love nearly impossible, but dealing with bridal store staff is a nightmare in and of itself. I HATED every moment I spent looking for a dress and when I did find a dress I liked (alas, one I did not adore) & that suited the grandiose wedding we were having (something my husband's parents insisted on–at the oldest, largest Catholic church in the city) dealing with the store personnel made me want to MURDER! They just contributed to the stress associated with wedding planning. All in all, I'd really, really love to get married over again, because then I'd do my wedding my way, excluding the 500 people I did not know and the 10 pounds of silk I had to lug around in 5 inch Louboutins for 10 hours.
Totally agree that more RTW designers should create white/ivory versions. The only caveat – and I learned this from interviewing Marchesa when they launched their bridal line – is that brides get upset when one of their guests end up showing up in the same exact dress (just a different color way). It's happened to Marchesa's clients which is why they didn't want to take this approach.
That being said, 95% of brides wear strapless so most bridal designers, unfortunately, will design for those them as opposed to the 'non-bridal' brides. Little wonder the industry gets such a bad rap for not being directional…
I would love it if there were more beautiful trendy dresses that didn't cost over $1000. I want to look beautiful and not broke.
Like this one from Carmen Marc Valvo
http://bit.ly/cTRvvMhttp://bit.ly/cTRvvM
You have no idea how excited I was to read a wedding-related post here! I'm in the midst of wedding planning too and when I was looking for dresses, I LOVED some of the vintage-inspired dresses by Claire Pettibone (http://www.clairepettibone.com/bridal/?cp=colle…). There are a few short ones too.
Love, love, love the Erdem, it is classic and elegant and not overpoweringly formal. And the short sleeves will work well with that design, I think. We've been a bit obsessed about the need for sleeves to be offered on at least *some* wedding/formal gowns.
Reading everyone's comments it's upsetting to think that so many people have such a tough time finding a gown! I am a bridal designer in Australia (with 3 stores and several stockists so I see a lot of brides) and I try to bridge the gap between fashion and bridal with my designs. I personally love gowns with sleeves and the 'covered' look, but whenever I do those samples, they never sell. So, I do lots of designs for strapless dresses because a lot of girls do want strapless dresses – although I then try to be more accommodating by giving girls the option of adding little sleeves, and like I said, I do design a lot of gowns that aren't strapless as that is my personal preference for gowns. Even with our bespoke gowns (where the girls can have anything they want) the majority still opt for strapless gowns. And, I sell quite a lot of gowns to girls from the UK and even though it's cooler over there, they still tend to go for strapless options too! Looking for gowns should be a fun and exciting process, so we try to make it as enjoyable as possible.
If you want to check out my website: http://www.karenwillisholmes.com.au
Let me know what you think!
it was easy. it look like a week of searching ebay and i ended up spending $40 on a vintage 30s gown. i'm not picky. fits perfect. done.
I can help solve your issue! Modern bride look no further, you have found the answer to all your wedding woes! My company- Orangia bridal will take all your anxiety away! We custom make weddings dresses at same price as off the rack dress!! I can tell you brides find me because they are like you…looking for something very unique that is modern different and not the typical aline cake dress. Please contact me if you want me to make you a dress. We are based out of New York but we can work with you long distance. We have created dresses and shipped all over the world even without meeting clients!!! I am sure I can help you..All I need are your measurements. Our services include: wedding dress, bridesmaids dress, rehearsal dinnner dress, bachelorette party dress, mother of bride, headpiece/ veil, jewerly and shoes! We are one stop shop to a fashionable bride who wants something special one of a kind and couture! Check out our site http://www.orangiausa.com and click on bridal!!! our clients love our dresses so much I have heard stories of them wearing their wedding dress again and again! The same goes for our bridesmaids!!! We are here to style your complete wedding look from head to toe!!!LOVE LIFE> LIVEORANGIA
hi i am a fashion designer that does custom work — i've been chronicling the process of making a friend's wedding dress — you can check it out here: http://janetleekim.blogspot.com/search/label/we…
i found two fab dresses on sale at a designer boutique, ripped the shirred chiffon flowers and appliques off of one and had them strategically placed on the other. the whole thing cost something like 500 bucks
and it was so interesting and beautiful with a simple gardenia in the hair.
Hold the phone! This is Lanie, the owner of Lovely (http://www.lovelybride.com) and I'm soooo excited to hear all of this feedback! We have a couple of great new 'off the rack' dresses that are perfect for brides who don't want the poof. We also carry a few indie designers, and next week we should get in…..DELPHINE MANINVET dresses. They are AMAZING and she is adorable too. Definitely a welcome change to the bridal world with her dresses! http://www.delphinemanivet.com. Hope to see you in the store!
Hi Lauren,
Brides like you, and many of the girls above, are my favorite clients! My collection is vintage inspired with a modern, really feminine feeling and I don't do “the pouf”…just not my thing. I am not into cookie-cutter weddings, and I truly believe that your gown should reflect who you are and speak to your unique style. Take a look at our site, http://www.clairepettibone.com/bridal and try to have some fun shopping! We have stockists in the US and the UK…everything is made to order, so if you see something you like, just shoot us an email!
xoxo,
Claire Pettibone
I LOVE this article. It is hilarious and too right!
Sometimes I wonder if the choices are just so overwhelming too? I mean a bride might have a look in mind, but when she heads to the nearest boutique, she's surrounded by so many choices. My cousin had her dress altered, it is a Monique Lhuillier, and it was absolutely stunning! She had it made into two pieces so that she could have a long dress for the ceremony and a short one for the reception, you can see it here http://snippetandink.blogspot.com/2008/11/real-… not that it is completely relevant to this topic, I think I was thinking that even though the dress OFF the rack isn't your 100%, it doesn't mean it can't be altered :)
I am involved in a wedding giveaway to a couple who, do to health issues couldn't have a dream wedding. I think we're going gown shopping this weekend and I will be interested to listen to her issues as well :)