Newsflash: Miraclebody Jeans Are Not Miraculous

I have somehow become Fashionista’s guinea pig for fit-testing, and I have to say I’m enjoying the role immensely. I only hope that these things aren’t being sent my way because Lauren thinks I need to be lifted or minimized. After my review of hello! Skinnyjeans, we received an email from Miraclebody, the company which also makes the time-tested Miraclesuit swimsuit. The company jumped into the jeans market in 2009, and its tag line is “Look 10 pounds lighter in 10 seconds.” I think we can all agree that ten pounds is kind of a lot; on me that translates to a size or two.
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I have somehow become Fashionista’s guinea pig for fit-testing, and I have to say I’m enjoying the role immensely. I only hope that these things aren’t being sent my way because Lauren thinks I need to be lifted or minimized. After my review of hello! Skinnyjeans, we received an email from Miraclebody, the company which also makes the time-tested Miraclesuit swimsuit. The company jumped into the jeans market in 2009, and its tag line is “Look 10 pounds lighter in 10 seconds.” I think we can all agree that ten pounds is kind of a lot; on me that translates to a size or two.
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I have somehow become Fashionista’s guinea pig for fit-testing, and I have to say I’m enjoying the role immensely. I only hope that these things aren’t being sent my way because Lauren thinks I need to be lifted or minimized.

After my review of hello! Skinnyjeans, we received an email from Miraclebody, the company which also makes the time-tested Miraclesuit swimsuit. The company jumped into the jeans market in 2009, and its tag line is “Look 10 pounds lighter in 10 seconds.” I think we can all agree that ten pounds is kind of a lot; on me that translates to a size or two. The company sent me a dark indigo boot cut, skinny cut white jeans, and indigo jeggings. I tried them all and also gave them to two friends to try, just to introduce some different body types into the equation. We all had pretty much the same reaction: Yawn.

The rise was way too high for all three of us, and we range from 5’4” to 5’9” in height. It was total mom jean territory. The front minimizing panel was uncomfortable, and on the white jeans it was visible through the denim. The back pocket placement seemed too high, and gave my tall ex-dancer friend a completely flat derriere. And no, none of us looked any thinner.

I actually really liked the jeggings, though. They were a great indigo color with classic stitching up the side. The waistband was wide and not too constrictive. The jeggings sat pretty flat and didn’t look bunched up under a long shirt. But conventional wisdom tells us that jeggings should not be treated like regular pants and should generally be covered up. So what’s the point of minimizing panels and butt-lifting that really won’t be seen?

A positive? The price point was good--$68-$110. They’re sold at Saks and Bloomingdale’s, among other places.

I’m tired of gimmicky clothing. There are tons and tons of great basic jeans out there that become popular because of their quality and value. I guarantee that everyone can find a flattering pair in their price range. Slick marketing and pandering to women’s insecurities is not endearing and makes me want to avoid a product.

Now, does anyone else want me to try anything on? Isabel Marant, I’d love to try some of your wares!