Sorry, Hello! SkinnyJeans Don't Make You Look Any Skinnier

I’m quite sure there’s not a person among us who doesn’t sort of dread shopping for jeans. It doesn’t matter what size you are. Unflattering jeans are
Avatar:
Author:
Publish date:
Social count:
26
I’m quite sure there’s not a person among us who doesn’t sort of dread shopping for jeans. It doesn’t matter what size you are. Unflattering jeans are
Image Title1

I’m quite sure there’s not a person among us who doesn’t sort of dread shopping for jeans. It doesn’t matter what size you are. Unflattering jeans are a downer.

So I was excited to try some hello! SkinnyJeans, which claim to make you look 15 pounds thinner. For the record, I have hips and wear a completely average size 28-29 in denim and am about 5'5". Sorry for the overshare, but I also happen to be feeling a bit puffy right now, so I thought it would be the perfect time to try these.

I got three different styles in various sizes sent to me from hello! SkinnyJeans. Yes, that’s their name. Let me just say that there are a few things I’m snobby about (handbags, for instance), but jeans aren’t one of them. I love whatever makes my butt look good. So I was willing to overlook the name and give them a try. At least it’s not as bad as “Not Your Daughter's Jeans.”

I tried the Barely BootCut, SkinnyP’s (a petite cut), and Bone Structure GreenJeans, which are treated with a special environmentally-friendly wash. All of them were very dark indigo.

PROS:

  • The waistband is really comfortable and at the perfect rise--not too high and not too low. The no-muffin-top claim is accurate, although the SkinnyP’s were too low for me. Clearly I’m not a candidate for petite sizing.
  • Huge variety of sizes. They offer waist sizes up to 38 and several different inseam lengths.
  • There isn’t any ornamentation, logo, or other junk cluttering up the back pockets. Clean, big pockets are the most minimizing, and hello! gets this concept.
  • They didn’t sag at the end of the day.

CONS:

  • They are way too stretchy. The amount of nylon/elastane is higher than that in some jegging styles. Plus, you are told to “do a plié” as you put them on in order to get the inner seam facing the right way. In the interest of scientific research, I put them on while doing a plié, took them off, and then put them on sans plié: no difference in appearance, at least not to the naked eye.
  • The price: $178-$188 and higher for corduroy styles. This is J Brand territory without the amazing design. I have stretchy Pookie & Sebastian jeans that feel the same and they were $60.
  • The dye got all over everything. To be fair, they warn you not to wear “fine whites” until you’ve washed the jeans a few times. My hands and legs were dark blue by the end of the day. Yuck.
  • I definitely did not look 15 pounds thinner. I didn’t even look five pounds thinner.
  • A lot of the styles are bootcut, and the company claims this is universally flattering. Two out of three of the Fashionista office disagrees about this. The GreenJeans actually have more of a straight leg and looked much better than the Barely BootCut styles on me.
  • The whiskering and faded line down the front and back just looks too fake.

The bottom line: These are really stretchy jeans that are fairly comfortable but not earth-shattering in terms of fit or style.