If you're reading this while sitting around listening to the new Hole album for the 50th time, wearing yesterday's makeup and fastening bits of tulle to everything you own, you're in luck! Rock's most vicious diva, Courtney Love, has just tweeted about the appearance of a website chronicling every wobbly, drunken step of her aesthetic journey, from the mundane to the bizarre and back again.
The effect of WhatCourtneyWoreToday.com falls somewhere between the intrigue and horror of watching a train wreck and the mysterious captivation of studying a foreign species. While Ms. Love doesn't seem to be the primary contributor to the site, her Twitter reveals that she is at least helping--plus we'd recognize that twisted garble of run-on sentences and near-synonyms anywhere.
Filled with things you'll want, things you won't, and things you just won't know what to do with (those weird little cartoon illustrations, the phrase "amazeballs"), one thing will be certain: you won't be able to look away.
Provided, of course, that you give a flying-you-know-what about the aging Attentionista. If you do care, dear reader, come along with us as we give you the perfect companion to our earlier stance on Ms. Love: Five Things We Can't Stand About Courtney's Fashion Blog.
1. She always looks like she wants to hurt me. Let's be honest here: I've seen photos of Courtney looking good. I know they exist. But every other photo on her blog makes her look like a possessed prairie dog. (Sorry, prairie dogs.)
2. The bizarre action shots. I'm sure this is some type of vocal warm-up gone awry, but really? What we need on this here fashion blog is a little more focus on the (alleged) fashion. Head-to-toe shots would be nice, whenever possible. Otherwise I'm forced to assume, as I did here, that Courtney is taking her fashion inspiration from Mrs. Butterworth.
3. Fire on the bed. Okay, so maybe that's not what's actually happening here, but it sure looks that way based on the brightness of whatever's on her comforter, and the fact that the photo is impossibly blurry. I can make out...the shoes. That's it. I understand that it's difficult to find time to get every photo just right when you're bent on documenting every crazy facet of your life, but please, must we take these pictures on a camera phone?
4. The nickname.The blog's writers are leading a serious push to refer to Courtney only as C-Lo (like J-Lo?) or Clo. I'm just...not on board with this one.
5. The poses. Courtney, I see what you're doing there. I like the dress, and I appreciate your attempt at a "naughty secretary" look, even though, to be honest, you look like my ex-middle school librarian on a rough day. But I'd be willing to look past all of that if you would just put your leg down. Down. Thank you.