Old Navy’s latest gimmick is the “Booty Reader.” A fortune teller named Madame Eva reads tells you what kind of jeans are perfect for your rear and your rear’s lifestyle, after you’ve uploaded a photo of your ass.

“Welcome,” Madame Eva greets you. “I’m the booty reader, let me read your booty and I’ll reveal your denim destiny.”

So I figured I’d give Madame Eva a shot and let her read my booty. Only problem is the site doesn’t quite work.

I followed the steps carefully. First you choose some booty tarot cards to represent your booty’s lifestyle. Is your ass a “social bootyfly” or a “bum around bum”? Then you upload photos of your ass. Really. Lauren snapped some photos of my rear (the Booty Reader requires a straight on shot and a side profile) and I uploaded them and adjusted the photos between a pair of hands that I assume were meant to be Madame Eva’s. After you’ve uploaded your tush pix, you must adjust lines around your ass and waist so Madame Eva can give you an accurate reading of your booty’s denim destiny. Only problem is this stage doesn’t work. I tried and tried to adjust my “Mount Rumpicus” line and my “lunar shelf” line but to no avail. And following all that effort, I was pretty disappointed with my inaccurate reading.

What gives Madame Eva? I trusted you!

Anyone else have any luck?