Welcome back to @NoBtotheS‘s series on the suicide inducing habits of people in the fashion industry. (Editor’s note: If you’re not familiar with NoBtotheS, or No Bullshit, s/he is an anonymous fashion publicist working in New York City who’s famed for a hilarious Twitter account.)
This post is dedicated to the PRs who I call my friends, in the most sincere way. We shop, eat, drink, laugh, cry, and bitch together. This is for you- you know EXACTLY what I'm talking about.
1. Nonsensical RSVPs: Why am I receiving emails from your coordinator, RSVPing on your behalf to my agency's event? You aren't friends with the designer (or ME for that matter) so don't be surprised if you get an email back from MY assistant beginning with "Due to the high volume of RSVPs and limited space..." 2. "Celebrity" PRs: Not to be confused with PRs who represent A-listers. I'm talking about PRs who mistake THEMSELVES for bold names. No one cares about you (ever) and demanding press mentions from your directors is desperate and needy. It's just not a good look. 3. Fair Weather PRs: Just as I see through the transparent, fickle nature of editors, I am also wise to other PRs love-a-thon when I make an important move to a new agency with great clients. You had no qualms ignoring my emails before but now it's all "drinks next week?" this and "quick coffee?" that. ENOUGH already, you charlatan! I'm hip to your jive. 4. Pretend Fashion Agencies: Your clients are weak, you have no voice or presence in the industry as a whole and your fashion department is little more than an after thought, tacked on to a what is essentially a beauty PR firm. (Tractenberg and Alison Brod, I'm looking in BOTH of your directions.)
5. EVENT BLACK: I am always shocked when I see other PRs who do not fully understand event black. I was trained (properly) that event black means head-to-toe solid black with heels. Then there are the things you learn over time like wearing something with pockets for your blackberry and walkie, something with room to MOVE in and shoes that won't make your feet bleed after an hour. You are there to WORK, so save the plunging neckline, prints and Tribute heels for the weekend. 6. Two breeds of PRs: There are two kinds of PRs in this business; the costume PRs and the career PRs. The former comes from the school of thought that this job is all about free clothes, drinks with editors and late night parties at Le Bain. These are the same people who don't know who their editor is at WWD. If you don't know if your editor is Rosemary Feitelberg or Sharon Edelson and you don't know how to write a 12-month strategy, then you have NO business being in PR.
7. Empty promises: Ok, I understand that landing new business is SUPER important and the reason I have a job but I can't stand when VPs and Managing Directors promise the moon and the stars, leaving the Directors, Senior AEs etc with the task of doing the impossible. SORRY- we can't secure a cover and 7-page feature in Town & Country for this no-name chick with questionable talent... 8. Agency Food Chain: We all know it, there is a serious hierarchy of agencies in NYC, it's like a high school cafeteria! This should be helpful for all you aspiring PR gals...
The Over-Achievers PR Consulting: You basically set the bar and love my twitter boyfriends Daniel and Matt. Starworks: Home of John Jannuzzi, King of Tumblr! KCD: Your client list can't be beat. HL Group: Basically the Spartans of the PR world. BPCM: The word "clinical" comes to mind... Black Frame: Your clients are amazing but your whole operation is so mysterious to me. The Cool Kids Karla Otto: Respect! People's Rev: All I can say is that Kelly is one smart cookie. Factory PR: Seems to be a lot of turnover but I dig that firecracker Genevieve. The Rest Seventh House LaForce & Stevens Harrison + Shriftman
9. There's no such thing as free lunch: In many ways, this business comes down to favors. Land a WWD cover because you know Jim, secure the Vanity Fair feature because Punch is related to your best friend's husband etc etc. But that's just on the editorial side. I can't COUNT the times I have done favors for other PRs i.e. secured invites to VIP events for their not so VIP clients or provided contact info for an elusive editor or stylist. But I CAN count the times other PRs have returned the favor- NOT ENOUGH. Bottom line: I scratch your back you better damn well be prepared to scratch mine. 10. Pissing War: Two agencies, one project. Look- we are working towards the same goal right? Maximum press on behalf of our clients... so let's stop the pee pee wagging and elbow throwing. Don't fight me on everything, we all have ideas so hear me out and I will do the same. PRs UNITE!
Warning: Much like Jim Cramer on CNBC, the words of @NoBtotheS do not represent the opinion of Fashionista.com as a whole, although we do think they’re pretty hilarious.