1. Is Tyra talking faster than normal? And does this remind anyone of her short-lived stint on Fresh Prince? We’ve also got to give Tyra credit for her spot on and hilarious imitations of Top Model contestants. To wit: “My favorite designer is Hello Kitty,” “I am Angora Nylandra Tafatia Michaels,” and my favorite, “I’m not a cookie cutter, I cut the cookies, and I’ll cut you.”
2. Plus size is now “fiercely real”–got it?
3. What happened to all the rejects who thought they’d been selected as finalists?
4. Jaclyn has more of a baby voice than a baby face, no? I like her hair.
5. Please, “Let’s get the ball rolling” does not mean you’ll be modeling bowling shoes. Who said that?
6. Alexandria has “natural swag” ok? “You either have it or you don’t.” And if you ask Alexandria, you probably don’t.
7. Has the plugging gotten more shameless? Erin Wasson‘s jewelry line we get, especially when it’s paired with her buddy Alexander Wang’s diffusion line for the fashion show (that’s par for the course), but that scene where all the contestants are poring over Russell James’ book? Too much.
8. Ok, let’s talk about the bubble. First, is that duct tape holding it together? That does not seem very “high fashion.” Second, doesn’t it seem like it hurts, like, a lot, when you fall inside it? Especially when your head or ass comes down hard on that 12 inch balance beam masquerading as a runway? Third, did the bubble cam make anyone else a little dizzy?
9. Hannah, what is with the pig tails? And are you stoned?
10. Oh, Andre Leon Talley. So glad you’re back! And no cape? Is that an Alpine hiking hat in lieu of a cape? Awesomes.