In between shows, writing, and sleeping, it’s necessary to inject a bit of silliness into Fashion Week. Fiji Water sponsored the Bumbys at the tents on Friday evening, so I went to meet them. The Bumbys are a Brooklyn-based performance art duo--called Jill and Gill--who offer you “a fair and honest appraisal of your appearance.” They do so wordlessly and in disguise, typing earnestly on a typewriter and handing you an index card at the end with their pronunciation.
When I arrived at Lincoln Center, the Bumbys were mobbed. I suppose there probably isn’t a more confident group of dressers than those who attend fashion shows, so it makes sense. I was convinced to get an appraisal, so I walked intrepidly up to their table.
I was wearing an A/W 2010 grey and black Helmut Lang dress, metallic burned-out slingback booties from Elizabeth and James (several seasons old), fuchsia plastic chandelier earrings that were $6 from Target, and a ridiculously huge black sequined tote from Zadig and Voltaire. Here’s what they had to say about me:
You are really wearing the outfit reduction of the kind of apartment an architect would have designed for herself in the big city in like 1987. It’s about shapes and overlap and comfort and flow. Yes, you are the kind of woman who swans. That’s obvious. It’s in your earring sparkle. The bag and the earrings attract the light as you swan through the room. You’re such a walking narrative! 9.3
Pretty spot on about the Helmut dress, actually. I’m totally using that line the next time I review one of their collections. About the swanning and being a walking narrative--I like it! One could say so many worse things about a person. I’m assuming the 9.3 rating is out of ten, so I’ll take it.
Thanks, Fiji Water and the Bumbys, for that fair and honest appraisal. I can now walk confidently into the next show and not fear ridicule.