Teen stars: “you just gotta let ‘em drink.” A useful piece of advice imparted on me by the Dream Hotel’s security brigade. Luckily, the tween dreams at last night’s DKNY Sunglass Soiree were solely of the faux specimen—the kind that play characters seven years younger than their actual selves, making it awkward when you witness them guzzling vodka. Last night’s party in honor of DKNY’s sunnies featured two Gossip Girls, a Twilight, and a Jonas all on the same crowded roof deck.
Weaving between girls in nylon printed rompers and those criminal copies of Chris Benz’s wedges, we arrived at Kevin Jonas’s alcove (aka: the married one, or non-virgin if you prefer), who offered, “DKNY fits so perfectly.” OK! On to the next.
Tiptoeing around the hotel’s pool (filled with two shivering models floating on rafts–of course it was the one day it was not sweltering hot), we found our way over to Twilight’s Kellan Lutz who was unfortunately wearing a shirt. Rubbing his leg against mine while simultaneously ogling my friend, he agreed with Jonas and said, “I love DKNY, everything fits so well!” “But what about what Carrie Bradshaw said?” we asked. “She once spoke about a boyfriend saying– He was like the flesh and blood equivalent of a DKNY dress. You know it’s not your style but it’s right there, so you try it on anyway.” “Nah [insert sex eyes], I like simple things, that’s why it works for me.”
As we filed out of this city’s latest hotspot, Jessica Szohr arrived on the roof—just in time for a flashflood rainstorm. And we’ve got to cop to some schadenfreude here–it would’ve been amusing to see nature mess with the perfect coifs of all the teen heartthrobs still breezy in their DKNY on the pool deck…