A Breakdown of All the Weird Shit Nicki Minaj Was Wearing at the VMA's

Not surprisingly, one of the MTV Video Music Awards' most over-the-top ensembles belonged to best hip hop video winner Nicki Minaj. As you may have
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Not surprisingly, one of the MTV Video Music Awards' most over-the-top ensembles belonged to best hip hop video winner Nicki Minaj. As you may have

Photo: Getty

Photo: Getty

Not surprisingly, one of the MTV Video Music Awards' most over-the-top ensembles belonged to best hip hop video winner Nicki Minaj. As you may have noticed, there was a lot going on and very little of it made any sense.

Was Queens-bred Nicki Minaj paying homage to this weekend's hurricane by dressing like one...that took place in, I don't know, a four-year old Japanese girl's bedroom? We're pretty sure Minaj's strategy was to pile on as many Harajuku-esque accessories she could find--perhaps with the goal of outdoing Gaga, who, dressed as Jo Calderone, actually wore the most simple outfit of the night and therefore couldn't be outdone. Still, Minaj gave us lots to talk about with the eclectic assortment of things that comprised what we guess can be called an outfit. So, we did a breakdown of every decipherable thing that was on the self-proclaimed Harajuku Barbie's body last night (we counted 15 but we're sure there's more):

1. A pink, yellow and orange wig that looks like very large scoops of sherbert piled atop her head. 2. A surgical mask by Japanese designer Shojono Tomo. 3. In keeping with the frozen desserts theme, an ice cream cone necklace that takes over her entire clavicle. 4. Diamond-shaped boobs, because what is the VMAs without a pointy boobs moment? 5. Metallic purple Transformers-inspired get-up, so that she can transform into whatever slutty ballerina situation is happening underneath. 6. The aforementioned slutty ballerina situation. 7. Rainbow striped panties. 8. Plastic shiny bow bracelets and rings. 9. Star-printed tights--probably the most normal thing Nicki has on her person. 10. Tsumori Chisato thigh-high socks. 11. A big pink and black lace bow garter. 12. Another pair of thigh-high socks by Shojono Tomo with drawings of comic book characters having seizures all over them.. 13. One or two more pairs of socks? With pom-poms on them? 14. Footwear: Pretty sure her left and right feet don't match. On the right foot, there is something that vaguely resembles a red Chinese dragon. Or a red furry duck. On the left foot...no idea. 15. This contraption, also Shojono Tomo, looks like a gigantic version of something that might make a fun, weird keychain accessory from Hot Topic. Instead, it is an enormous amalgamation of 25 different children's toys that reminds me of Oblina from Aaahh!! Real Monsters.