When we reported on the elaborate prom rules that several American high schools were enforcing, we assumed the school staff was being dramatic. We asked ourselves: Are teen girls really wearing navel-exposing prom dresses? Are they really wearing Dancing with the Stars-type gowns? Are there that many high school boys wearing canes to prom to necessitate a rule? (The answers: yes, yes, and yes)

After a quick perusal of the many prom dress sites out there, we realized they weren’t being dramatic at all: There is a huge amount of appallingly inappropriate (and just plain ugly) prom gear out there. And if it’s being produced, it’s probably being purchased. And worn to prom.

From up-to-there slits, to belly tops (seriously), the amount of skanky crap out there being peddled as prom gear (for, you know, teenage girls) is truly shocking. Weirdest of all, despite all evidence to the contrary, these frocks don’t even come cheap: Some of them will set you back as much as $800.

So ladies, consider this a PSA: Please do not spend $800 on a diamond-bedazzled, slit-to-there, plunging v-neck monstrosity. You’ll thank us when you’re going through your prom pictures a few years later, trust us.