Rule No. 7: The store is closed– please, please leave. The music goes silent, the registers are counted, the floor is devoid of other customers, we employees are doing our best a cappella versions of Beyonce (trying to ward you off? Perhaps.) while frantically sizing and finger-spacing the racks, and you’re still shopping. You might be pleading with us to let you back in the fitting room “just for ooone more minute!” because you “proooomise” you’re going to purchase something. What’s wrong with this picture? I’ll tell you what: We’re closed. Shockingly, that closing time listed on the door isn’t merely a suggestion! Every time you hastily pull a piece of clothing out of its place, we have to space the hangers all over again. Plus, “I promise I’m buying” is basically code for “I’m shoplifting.” And all we want is to go home… You know, that far-away place we return to briefly to recharge between our shop shifts. But to get there, we need you to go home. Or just… elsewhere. Think of that old Semisonic song: “Closing time/You don’t have to go home /But you can’t stay here.” Oh, now that annoying song’s stuck in your head? Good. Don’t you forget it.