The CFDA Awards is one of the most glamorous fashion events of the year–except when you’re outside with the masses of screaming fans and curious onlookers, which is where I was. Since my invitation surely got lost in the mail (and maybe because I’m one of those fans), I decided to stake out the event. Between getting wedged in the photographers’ pit and later put in a “cage” (a barrier set up against a wall to contain the fans without an exit), things got a little wild. Despite being contained, I heard plenty of interesting things in the two hours I stood out there.
Here are the ten funniest things I overheard outside the awards:
• “I am NOT Kate” Doutzen Kroes protested multiple times after the crew of around 15 photographers repeatedly mistook her for another Kate. (We’re assuming they thought she was Kate Upton.) “All the Victoria’s Secret models run together after awhile,” I overheard one say.
• “Whatever, his boyfriend is a porn-star anyway” said an irritated photographer after Marc Jacobs refused to pose for a picture.
• One persistent caged fan called Jacobs over after the event for a picture, to which Jacobs replied, “I’m not coming over there. If you want a picture with me you are coming over here.” The more vocal cage-members proceeded to heckle him for being a diva.
• “Who is that woman, right there, with the bowl cut?” asked a teenage girl in sweatpants about Anna Wintour.
• “What the fuck? Lauren Hutton is wearing tennis shoes. Tennis shoes!” exclaimed one confused photographer attempting to take a picture through a bush. [Ed. note: They were Supergas, of course.]
• “Get back in the cage! Once you come out of the cage, you aren’t getting back into the cage” said a security guard to an obnoxious fan after an escape attempt in hopes of a picture with Matt Bomer.
• “Karma. KARMA. Karma!” said more than a few amused Seth Meyers fans when he tripped in front of everyone after ignoring their requests for pictures.
• *silence and a glare* courtesy of Shaun White to a fan who called him “the Flying Tomato”
• “Oh, it’s just some event. Nothing too interesting,” said model River Viiperi (accompanied by Sean O’Pry) when asked about his role in the awards.
• “Carine Roitfeld has acknowledged my presence. I’m officially significant,” said a crazed fan in the cage.