Style Advice from a Dominatrix: Mistress Tetra on Her Most-Requested Shoe, How to Break in a Corset, and the Importance of Lubing Up Before Wearing Latex

Ever since Fifty Shades of Grey began dominating (ha) the Best Sellers list, it seems like the whole world has been going BDSM. The dominatrix has always been a key figure in high fashion, but now that even soccer moms are getting in on the action--driving sales of rope and ties--and licensing deals for everything from lingerie to mugs to who knows what else in the works, it seems that BDSM style is finally going mainstream. But what do the real-life dominatrixes have to say about the new phenomenon? What does an actual dominatrix wear? And how on earth do they manage sporting a corset and heels while simeoltaneously whipping people? We chatted with Mistress Tetra, a professional Domme working in Los Angeles, California, to find out the answers to all these questions and more. Read on for style advice from her.
Avatar:
Hayley Phelan
Author:
Publish date:
Social count:
1198
Ever since Fifty Shades of Grey began dominating (ha) the Best Sellers list, it seems like the whole world has been going BDSM. The dominatrix has always been a key figure in high fashion, but now that even soccer moms are getting in on the action--driving sales of rope and ties--and licensing deals for everything from lingerie to mugs to who knows what else in the works, it seems that BDSM style is finally going mainstream. But what do the real-life dominatrixes have to say about the new phenomenon? What does an actual dominatrix wear? And how on earth do they manage sporting a corset and heels while simeoltaneously whipping people? We chatted with Mistress Tetra, a professional Domme working in Los Angeles, California, to find out the answers to all these questions and more. Read on for style advice from her.
Mistress Tetra

Mistress Tetra

Ever since Fifty Shades of Grey began dominating (ha) the Best Sellers list, it seems like the whole world has been going BDSM.

The dominatrix has always been a key figure in high fashion, but now that even soccer moms are getting in on the action--driving sales of rope and ties--and licensing deals for everything from lingerie to mugs to who knows what else in the works, it seems that BDSM style is finally going mainstream.

But what do the real-life dominatrixes have to say about the new phenomenon? What does an actual dominatrix wear? And how on earth do they manage sporting a corset and heels while simeoltaneously whipping people? We chatted with Mistress Tetra, a professional Domme working in Los Angeles, California, to find out the answers to all these questions and more.

Okay, so, first thing first, how'd you get into your line of work? I have always been a kinkster myself and experiemented on my own, and then one day I came across an ad looking to hire and train women to work in a BDSM household. I made an appointment for an interview, and was doing it all really out of fun, more of just trying it out, than actually expecting to get the job. I did excellent in the interview--the Mistress liked my personality and saw my skills so we did a photo shoot right there on the spot, and I ended up having my first client the very next day. I just jumped in head first from there on out.

Can you give us a little background on your day-to-day? What's a typical work week look like for you? I currently session out of a 7,000-square-foot dungeon called Sanctuary Studios directly across the street from the LAX Airport on La Cienega Blvd. A typical week for me is spent almost completely at the dungeon or revolving around work for the dungeon. I work five, sometimes six days out of the week. I enjoy playing, so it doesn't feel like work to me. We have weekend parties on Fridays and Saturdays and sometimes even both. I attend usually all of these parties and even host my own called Club Tempt every other month on the third Saturday.

Obviously, shoes are very important in your line of work. What kind of shoes are best to wear as a dominatrix? My favorite shoes for working are anything that has a 7 inch heel or higher. It's just more comfy and easier to walk in. Shoes that have, let's say 5 inches, give your foot a higher angle/slope while sitting in the shoe. Once it gets to 7 inches they make the sole of the heel more flat because your toes are raised two inches higher, evening your entire foot's position.

Do your clients ever buy you shoes to wear for their sessions? Yes, I have slaves that will send me shoes off of my wishlist so they are always something I have picked out and already decided that I liked. I like my heels tall and with something that supports around the ankle or boots that have a ridiculously large platform.

Do you have a most-requested shoe? Interestingly enough, I get the most requests for a pair of seven inch black heels that have five buckles up the front.

An 8" heel from Pleaser

An 8" heel from Pleaser

What should one look for when searching for dominatrix shoes? Any shoes from Pleasers, Penthouse, or if it just has that fetishy vibe too it. It doesn't have to be name brand for you to look good and dominate in them. You will know it when you see them.

What are the five wardrobe essentials that every dominatrix has to have? Every dominatrix, without a doubt, has to have stockings with garter, heels, booty shorts, a corset, and some sort of jewelry.

From what I can tell, I feel like stockings and garter belts seem like the most essential. Are men really that into them? Yes, almost all gentlemen do want you to have the stockings and garter on in a session--it's just a look that they find sexy and appealing and seems to be pretty routine, no matter who they are or what they like.

What sort of clothes would you recommend for getting that dominatrix vibe? If you are going for the dominant look, then darker tones of lingerie with a corset thrown over it will work best. For everyday going-out-wear, I recommend tight and shiny spandex pants, leather of all sorts--the vests always look great on ladies, I have a few myself. Corsets, of course, and latex or vinyl materials so that your clothing has that wet look that's sexy. Then, try to accesorize with everything from gloves to jewelery to clips and barrets for your hair.

Speaking of latex, how on earth do you put it on? You must be very careful when putting it on because it is so thin that you can accidentally tear right through it--and I hear that happening from a lot of people, even when it's brand new. You do have to use lube, as funny as that sounds, to slip into your latex outfit. It's the only way to not rip it. Lube your whole body up as well as the inside and the outside of the garment, and then you're ready to jump in and go.

Do you ever get used to wearing it? I don't normally wear a lot of latex. I love the look of it, but wearing it is a whole different story. Latex can also make you sweat just because of the rubbery material. So between it being delicate to get into and maintain, leaving a lubey trail around after it's on, and the swampy feeling you get if you move around too much in it, I don't wear it on the regular. I have it for special occasions or by requests because it does look fabulous.

What about corsets? Do you get used to wearing them? I love wearing corsets! To get used to them you must buy a "real corset". Many ladies do not know that there is even a difference. You want one that have all steel boning in it. Not acrylic.

How come? The steel bones help actually shape and make the corset conform to your body, forever giving it your personal shape. When you put your corset on, your body warmth ever so slightly bends and molds the steel bones into place. If you try this with acrylic they will just bend out of shape or break.

Do you have any tips on how to get used to wearing one? Yes. With a steel boned corset you can tie it on loosely and wear it for about thirty minutes to an hour, and then once the bones are ready you can actually cinche and tie it even tighter. This is the first step to getting comfy in a corset. You should also pace yourself. Don't wear it for long periods to start at first and maybe don't tie it as tight as you possibly can. If you do "waist training," wearing your corset regularly and comfortably then your body will develop and keep that hour glass shape that I know so many of us women want to keep.

Do you ever switch up your look? I usually go with one of two different looks. Sometimes I do the classic Domme look which is more pinup and sophisticated looking. On other days I will dress with more of edgey rocker vibe, this way you know I'm going to kick your ass right when you walk in.

A black leather corset from Timeless-Trends.com

A black leather corset from Timeless-Trends.com

What are some good places to score some dominatrix gear? I get most of my clothing either on Hollywood Blvd or purchased online from different sites. For the best corsets, I shop at Timeless-Trends.com, CorsetStory.com, CorsetDeals.com, Stockroom.com, or just shop Amazon because you can find a little bit of everything there, but these are my favorite sites to frenquent.

What article of clothing makes you feel most ready to kick some butt, Domme-style? That's a tough one! Honestly it would have to be between either shoes or a corset. I feel so sexy and ready to take over the world in both. I guess whichever is the newest.