That's intrepid reporter Jo Piazza on a toilet.

Fashion Week does a beautiful job of being beautiful. On the runway fantasy becomes reality because reality is ugly. But for just a sliver of the week, we wanted to get real. That’s why we headed to the one place where even fashionistas can’t pretend–the ladies’ room.

So we eavesdropped from the stalls of Fashion Week so you didn’t have to.

10:16 am: Gaggle of women enter speaking some sort of Eastern European dialect. Make unhappy noises. One of them is wearing a sequined fascinator. She angrily throws said fascinator in an overflowing trashcan, curses it using a lot of phlegm and departs.

10:22 am: “Oh ewwww it smells in here.”
“It smells like really bad in here.”
“Blech. These are like port-a-potties.”
“They’re trick port-a-potties. You don’t know they’re port-a-potties. But they’re totally port-a-potties.”

10:32: “I love that lipstick. Can I try it?”
“I’m not really cool with that.”

10:36: “How do these things flush? Oh, no…not like that….NOT. LIKE. THAT.”

10:38: “It’s gross in here.”
“It’s really gross in here.”
“There’s nowhere to hang my bag.”
“Put it on the floor?”
“Ewwww no have you seen the floor. I think someone couldn’t flush the toilet or something.”

10:42: “It smells like a truck stop in here.”
“This is wrong. Someone needs to tell someone to do something. I’m going to be sick.”

10:45: Two women speaking Italian. I translate it to be: “I’m so hungover, I am going to puke.” Pukes.

10:47: “There should be hooks in here for bags.”
“It shouldn’t smell so bad in here.”
“I’m going to tell someone to clean in here.”
“OHMYGODGETMEOUTOFHERE”

10:50: Maintenance men enter: “Everyone out of here!”
“It’s nice of you to finally clean up.”
Women leave.
Maintenance man to maintenance man: “Women can get really gross.”

Fashion week: It’s not as glamorous as you think.