The Limp Handshake

This is my pet peeve so you’re about to get an earful.

I love a handshake–it’s my preferred way to greet people. It’s unpretentious and warm at the same time (though I understand it’s not always possible when you’re holding a bag, a drink, and a phone). But you gotta have a firm grip and look the person in the eye. I can’t tell you how many times over the past five years I’ve been doing this that I’ve been introduced to someone who offers their hand (while looking somewhere else because they couldn’t be less interested in meeting me) and just sort of lets it hang there. What am I supposed to do with that? Kiss it? Milk it as if it were an udder (actually, maybe I will do that next time this happens to me)?

Please. Let’s make this stop.