We have a new guilty pleasure on the internet and you can find it on, of all places, Style.com.
The site tapped actor/designer/filmmaker/jet-setter/all-around cool, classy guy Waris Ahluwalia to answer the questions on "how best to navigate the intricacies of fashion week" advice column-style in an amazingly insidery new feature called, cleverly, Love & Waris.
Despite having a few fashion weeks under our belts, we hardly knew the true gravity of the problems facing fashion people these days. That it's taken this long for someone to provide a resource for them is downright tragic. An example of one such troubling dillema:
Dear Waris, A friend has invited me to a fashion week party he's hosting, but I've also been invited to two better parties that night and can't possibly make it to all three. Given that he'll see the photos on Style.com the next morning and notice I've been making the rounds, what excuse can I give him for being a no-show?
Could you feel worse for this guy? Didn't think so. Ahluwalia's advice, delivered with somewhat disturbing ernestness, is actually pretty fair and honest, we guess:
You and I are clearly cut from a different cloth. My friends always come first—they last way longer and will be around when the parties end and the flashbulbs fade.
Fortunately, I can trust my personal assistant Enzo to get me through my evening schedule so I never have to choose. But this is about you. First, let's qualify the friendship—is this person a real friend or a fashion friend? If it's the former, then no amount of excuses could cover up the betrayal. If the latter, I'm less concerned—crosstown traffic is always a good standby.
Thank goodness for Enzo. Our advice-giver is a little less tactful, though, when faced with a party crasher:
Dear Waris, I'm desperate to go to the Proenza Schouler party, but my invite was lost in the mail. Any tips on talking my way in?
Dear Not Invited,
I have been tasked to be honest with my readers, and, on occasion, it may come off as a little harsh. I can smell your desperation from here and it is not pleasant. To be clear, I want to make sure you understand that your invite was not lost in the mail—you were just not invited. Why must you go somewhere you have not been invited? No one party is the be-all and end-all. As my friend Cynthia Rowley says, it's all cumulative. Life will go on. Plan for next season and be invited—work hard, pay your dues, and sleep with the right publicists/designers/editors.
"You were JUST NOT INVITED" is always sound advice.
Other topics Ahluwalia offered his advice on include what time to show up to a fashion show (early or late?), what to say to designers backstage when they're collection sucked, and other predicaments of great consequence. Suffice to say, we'll be reading this column religiously. Also, we know KMart already used the term #fashionweekproblems in their new campaign, but we like these ones better, so please tell us yours, real or fake, in the comments! We feel like the Brant brothers and Elisabeth von Thurn und Taxis could come up with some good ones.