I attended last night's Brian Atwood party at the Four Seasons with three intentions: Find Ryan Lochte, meet Ryan Lochte, and make Ryan Lochte fall madly in love with me. I can proudly report that within approximately 45 minutes' time, I achieved two of my three goals--and let's just say, the jury's still out on the third. Allow me to explain.
We entered the straight-out-of-Miami Vice party (think lots of glitter, indoor palm trees, a massive disco ball, and a Ryan-ready pool in the center of it all) with no sign of Ry. We mingled. We hovered. We tried not to fall on our arses in front of the Sisters Hilton and Candice Swanepoel. And then it happened--a ray of light that looked a lot like Ryan Lochte appeared out of the dark abyss. It was now or never.
After a little creepy stalking and maybe lightly holding onto the bottom of Lochte's finely tailored suit jacket as I trailed him through the awe-inspired crowd, I finally cornered him at the bar. I looked at him. He looked at me. Our inner goddesses did some underwater somersaults in that shallow centrally-located pool (I swear I'm not reading Fifty Shades). Below, the riveting conversation that changed our (mine and possibly Ryan Lochte's, fingers crossed) lives forever:
Fashionista: So how did you like the Joseph Abboud show today? Ryan Lochte: I liked it. Joseph he's a... great designer. [Ed. note: Joseph Abboud left the company in 2005, Bernardo Rojo is the current creative director of the Joseph Abboud line.]
We heard you're doing NYFW coverage for E!, what can you tell us about that? Yes. I'm doing that tomorrow.
Wait is it only for one day? Or the whole week? Uh... tomorrow and the next day. I'm a correspondant for them so I'm gonna be interviewing people.
Like... the designers? What do you mean 'people'? Uhh... I like think I have uhh an interview with Anna Wintour.
No kidding? Yeah. So it's definitely gonna be really weird because I'm usually the one answering all the questions and now I'm giving the questions out.
So about your line. Is it really going to be called 'Jeah'? Uh we're still working on it.
What other names are you thinking? Well that's basically that and uh my reality tv show. I wanna get into that.
What would your show be about? Well, really it would be based on my training over the next four years, and getting my new design line into it too. So...
So, no Bachelor? Um well, I don't know. I mean we're still getting a lot of offers right now. So what I really wanna do is have my own reality tv show.
So when can we expect your line to be out? Who's it going to be for? Women, men? Well right now I'm working with a design team and it's gonna be men. And hopefully if everything goes well it's gonna be up and running by next year.
What are your plans for Fashion's Night Out? Uh... something. I don't know what. But something.
And then we made out. The end. Or maybe...the beginning?