Pregnant Snooki

Snooki wig (add cheap blonde extensions to make it a more “modern” Snooki look):

Pregnant belly

Rosary (yes, there’s a place called Rosary Mart.) We chose the glow-in-the-dark option.

Tight black dress, with sequins of course

Press-on nails

• Accessorize with lots of fake eyelashes, something with leopard print, and a bottle of soda. Or…beer.