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Guys are always saying they wish women would wear less makeup–but our dating experts say there’s a fine line between going au naturel and rocking a “natural look” (which is what men actually really like). Explains Stewart, “You don’t need to show your I-just-woke-up face in an attempt to be honest.”

“It’s all about striking a balance,” says Steinberg, who recommends wearing “natural-ish” makeup (mascara, blush) to highlight your “best, natural, feminine self.” Spira adds that wearing too much makeup is “a real turn-off”: It can make you look too high maintenance or (yikes) old. It’s best to highlight your single best feature, but watch out for ultra bright lipstick, as Spira says, “Most men don’t want to kiss you and find your bright red lipstick all over their shirt.” … So that’s what we’ve been getting wrong…

The one exception: In the event of having professional photos taken, it actually may be better to wear more makeup than you do on a regular basis, so as to not be washed out by the powerful flash. “It may feel unnatural, but onscreen you usually can’t tell how much you’re wearing,” Stewart says. And as long as you’re having a pro take your pics, why not have one do your makeup, too? Try Spira’s thrifty tip: “Take a visit to your local department store’s cosmetics department and have them do a free makeover for you. Chances are you could use a new lipstick anyway.” She knows us too well.

Good:
• Natural-ish makeup
• Accentuate lips or eyes, not both
• Makeup counter makeovers

Bad:
• Completely bare face
• Heavy makeup on lips and eyes
• Bright lipstick