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My days usually go something like this: Phone alarm, Facebook, Quaker oatmeal, work, pizza, work, subway, Facebook, Seinfeld, Facebook, sleep. Not Roberto Cavalli‘s! Harper’s Bazaar is thankfully here to enlighten on how the other 1/6.9 billion live when they aren’t delivering puppies on the Mediterranean–and it sounds pretty f–king fantastic.

We couldn’t resist pulling some highlights of the designer’s “24 Hours with…” profile below–including evidence that Cavalli may or may not be Marilyn Monroe reincarnated and that Darwin the Ikea monkey potentially belonged to him pre-home furnishing shopping spree. Take it away, Roberto…

• “I cannot sleep when I am dressed. I have to be naked. I am like Marilyn Monroe: She said five drops of Chanel No. 5; I tell you 10 drops of Roberto Cavalli fragrance.”

• “I used to have a small tiger and a monkey but not anymore. The monkey was mean.”

• “I don’t go to work naked.”

• “I went to Papua New Guinea a couple of years ago and met one of the last cannibal tribes existing on the planet. Very exciting!”

• “We go to my office, where I have to sign papers. An important man should do that every day.”

• “I have many crystal balls in my house. My wife loves to collect them, and I also love them because they are mysterious, which is why I decided to create some for my home collection. And I like all the women.”

• “When I go to bed, oh, my God, it is very private. It is very private because there are a lot of fantasies.”

We’d highly recommend heading over to Harpersbazaar.com to read the entire glorious thing.