Ads for New Sex Cleaning Wipes Proclaim 'Clean Beavers Find More Wood'

Playtex just introduced Fresh + Sexy "intimate wipes" for all your pre- and post-coital cleansing needs. Think baby wipes, but for sex. For generations, couples have been using tissues, the guy's t-shirt, or their roommates' bath towel to clean up after a quickie, but Playtex saw a hole in the market that needed filling. (Get used to the double entendres, because that isn't the last one you'll be reading.)
Avatar:
Author:
Publish date:
Social count:
317
Playtex just introduced Fresh + Sexy "intimate wipes" for all your pre- and post-coital cleansing needs. Think baby wipes, but for sex. For generations, couples have been using tissues, the guy's t-shirt, or their roommates' bath towel to clean up after a quickie, but Playtex saw a hole in the market that needed filling. (Get used to the double entendres, because that isn't the last one you'll be reading.)
Image Title5

Playtex just introduced Fresh + Sexy "intimate wipes" for all your pre- and post-coital cleansing needs. Think baby wipes, but for sex.

For generations, couples have been using tissues, the guy's t-shirt, or their roommates' bath towel to clean up after a quickie, but Playtex saw a hole in the market that needed filling. (Get used to the double entendres, because that isn't the last one you'll be reading.)

“This product was designed to address an important consumer need,” Erik Rahner, a marketing director for the brand, said in a release. “Sex isn’t always a planned event that can be prepared for. With Fresh + Sexy™ wipes, couples now have a way to be clean and ready for even the most spontaneous moments. They can be ready for intimacy whenever--and wherever--the mood strikes.” So these wipes will keep you squeaky clean, both before and after.

The not-so-subtle packaging

The not-so-subtle packaging

The wipes, which contain aloe and chamomile, are hypoallergenic since they'll be touching your most sensitive regions. (Because there's nothing like an allergic rash on your ladyparts to kill the mood.) The wipes will retail for $5.99 to $7.99 and come in three different packaging options--a 24 wipe resealable travel pack, a singles pack with 20 individually wrapped wipes (marketed as "perfect for grab-and-go action"), and a 40 wipe tub.

While the product is marketed as a wipe to use both before and after sex, the punny ad campaign is focusing on the "before" piece of the sex equation. There's actually even a bit of genital cleanliness shaming going on--like if you're not chamomile fresh, you're not getting any action. One of the ads reads: "A clean beaver always gets more wood." Guys aren't spared either: "A polished knob always gets more turns."

Which is kind of bullshit. Human genitals don't need to be sterilized and disinfected before sex. And in situations where you're truly unclean--like if you'd gone on a shower-free camping trip and then happened upon a must-do hiker--we doubt the hiker would care about your 'beaver' being clean.

Though there's nothing necessarily bad about freshening up beforehand, we think these wipes make a lot more sense as a way to clean up down there after sex.

Click through to see the rest of the ads. What are your thoughts?