HOLD THE GODDAMN PHONES. Miley Cyrus made a public appearance wearing something other than a midriff top!
No, your eyes do not deceive you. Yesterday, our girl Destiny Hope stepped out onto the egg-frying capable New York City streets on her way to Good Morning America in a dare-we-say decidedly conservative Chanel LBD. Ok, so she forgot a bra–big whoop. We’re talking about the girl who went to Trader Joe’s last week wearing an outfit made of money. This new outfit is still made of money–but in a much more sophisticated, Karl Lagerfeld-profiting sense.
Cyrus hasn’t always been a slave to her stomach: She’s donned dresses at the Met Gala and Elton John’s Oscars party, and she did have a bit of a jumpsuit moment for a while there. But she’s clearly a major fan of coordinating her look–the shorter the hair, the shorter the shirt. Cyrus’s recent sartorial mentality has been a lot like Elaine Benes’s feelings on muffin tops–the bottom is just excess. Simply put, her crop top collection couldn’t stop. And it wouldn’t stop. Until yesterday.
But why the change of garb, we wonder? Was Cyrus tired of holding up everyone in line in the bathroom, while she was stuck undoing her elaborate jumpsuits in a stall? Did Liam Hemsworth threaten to call off their engagement for the 14th time unless she covered up? Is she growing out her hair, and proving our aforementioned theory?
Only Miley Cyrus knows for sure. What we do know is that the girl behind the best song of 2013 [ed note: this is contested within the Fashionista offices] has suddenly broken away from an illustrious few months of wearing strictly crop tops and jumpsuits. She truly cannot be tamed. So let’s reminisce…