The breast situation:
This one requires a post of its own, but I’ll try to stick to the need-to-knows. During pregnancy your breasts grow, then they grow even more (enormously and painfully) again when your milk comes in, and then they subsequently deflate to sad little sacks afterwards. I no longer need a bra for what were once respectable and perky B-cups. Sigh.
But the immediate post-partum time is kind of horrifying. Your boobs become like rocks, and they leak. Yes, to the point where you need to wear bra maxi pads. Also, if you choose to breastfeed, it is not the easy, natural, earth mother thing you think it is. It takes work. Despite the fact that I regularly smear all sorts of chemicals on my face and consume Diet Coke by the liter, I was dead set on not giving my baby any formula. But he hated my gigantic leaking milk spigots, and just chose to scream instead, so I got a lactation consultant. She told me to put cabbage in my bra which supposedly helps to reduce the swelling. I was so freaking sleep-deprived that I actually did this without question.
Only use organic cabbage, obviously. You don’t want to put any pesticides there. Also, now is not a good time to try on your wedding dress to see if it still fits.
• Lansinoh Lanolin for Breastfeeding Mothers, $7.99: Yes, you need a nipple cream. Sorry to be the one to break it to you.
• Medela Disposable Nursing Bra Pads, $8.99: Yes, you can see them through your shirt. Just don’t leave the house, or else wait until fall when you can put on one of your many coats.