You may not have realized it when you woke up this morning, fell out of bed, pulled on your coat, and gulped down a refreshingly chilled Go-Gurt as you stumbled through the gray autumn mist to the subway, pausing briefly to scrape the remnants of dog poo from the sole of your boots, a small gesture that caused you to miss the last train to Manhattan for the next seven minutes, only to realize once you’d gotten on the next one that you’d left your phone on the counter of your apartment–but today, October 16, 2013, is the most wonderful day of the whole goddamn year. For today, children, it was finally announced that Angel Candice Swanepoel will don the fantasy bra at this year’s Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show–as well as the VS holiday catalogue–for the first time in all 24 years of her heavenly existence. Can I get a hallelujah up in here?
Designed by jeweler Mouawad, this year’s edition, dubbed the “Royal Fantasy Bra” (get that Royal Baby press overflow, VS) is valued at $10 million–quite a price increase from last year’s $2.5 mil “Floral Fantasy” model. It’s a steal, really, considering the 18 karat gold, ruby, diamond, and yellow sapphire-encrusted negligee also comes with a matching belt. And then there’s the 52 karat, pear-shaped ruby hanging down from the center of the bra.
Forget pushups–if you want all eyes on your bosoms this holiday season, you best be getting some next-level, 4,200 precious stone shit up in there. Amen.