Fashionable man about town Glenn O’Brien is a gentleman of many talents: writer, creative director and professional solver of sartorial conundrums. But while chatting with the GQ “Style Guy” columnist and author of How To Be a Man last night at the Warby Parker x RxArt event, we discovered he also considers himself to be quite the MC. So much so that, after we expressed some disbelief over this very Joaquin Phoenix turn of events, he promised to email us one of his original raps.
And lo and behold, it just landed in our inbox. While we’re surprised by the total lack of fashion name-dropping (wasted opportunity, considering his background), we do give him points for working in “gefilte fish.” So please enjoy “You Think You’re Bad, I’m the Worst!” an original by Glenn O’Brien.
I’m superbad — my ex-wives say I’m a cad
I’m evil — if you’re cotton I’m a weevil
You think you’re bad — I’m worse — I snatched Mother Theresa’s purse
I’m the worst — in the criminal league I’m first
I’m a fable — I’m the Cain and you’re the Abel
I’m a brute — that’s the new style of cute
I’m a liar — my pants are always on fire
I’m a traitor — I’m a stars and stripes hater
I’m a mobster — I make gefilte fish out of lobster
I’m a hood — I know your wife, she was good
I’m a pimp — let me rent you a chimp