You'd think that after walking in the flesh-baring Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, the models would want to, you know, put some clothes on. Yeah...not so much. From underboob to side boob to necklines that'd make Miley Cyrus shake in her platform sneaks (well, maybe), there wasn't a whole lot of modesty on the after-party red carpet.
But there were a few gals who went the Puritan route (at least among this crowd): full-length sleeves, tasteful hemlines and all. Funnily enough, compared to all the bareness, covering up felt almost like a bold move on their part. So just for the heck of it, we went ahead and ranked the VS models' outfits, in order of nakedness. You're welcome, boys (and girls)!
These ladies look fresh off the boat -- the Mayflower, that is. We've already seen the goods, and we totally stand by your decision to cover them back up. Plus Xi's bathrobe (that's a robe, right?) looks really cozy -- and I'd very much like to rest my cheek on the fluffy goodness that is He's dress.
Regardless of the fact that Kroes's dress looks like something that didn't make the cut for the show's shipwreck segment, these girls found a tasteful way to do the hot model thing. We dig this middle ground.
Bare midriffs, bandage dresses, and up-to-there slits don't quite cause the stir they did, say, two years ago. But look! Jablonski seems to be wearing two skirts at once -- so that's something. Whatever, it works.
These outfits are a true testament to Victoria's Secret models loving their underpants and not caring who knows it! Side note, I bought a dress a few months ago that's basically a carbon copy of Ms. Aldridge's here. I thought it was a Marc Jacobs knockoff, but now I know it's actually Dolce & Gabbana. The more you know...
Cut It Out!
These cutout looks are generally on the safe side of the sexy track, but there's a reason we included two angles of Ellingson's dress: BOOB CUTOUTS. Seriously, guys, those things are making me anxious. I just hope there were pasties involved.
Whoa Whoa WHOA.
I mean... some people just really like living in the past -- the past, for these girls, being 30 minutes earlier, when the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show was still happening. From Kloss's massive underboob situation to Donaldson's strange negligee hybrid (not to mention Garrn's lack of undies and Swanepoel's vast expanse of...chest), there's a whole lotta nakedness happening. Not that there's anything wrong with that.