Magic 24 Karat Gold Leggings Claim to Reduce Cellulite

If Rumpelstiltskin made stretch leggings (and ditched his spinning wheel for spin class), these would be them.
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Nora Crotty
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If Rumpelstiltskin made stretch leggings (and ditched his spinning wheel for spin class), these would be them.
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If Rumpelstiltskin* made stretch leggings (and ditched his spinning wheel for spin class), these would be them.

A company called Proskins (via Daily Mail) is now selling compression leggings woven from 24 KARAT GOLD. Allegedly, the $197.57 style (which, to the untrained eye, look exactly like any other black stretch leggings) uses nanotechnology to "help the skin to naturally create Hyaluronic Acid (HA), a substance naturally present in the skin that plays a key role in skin health and youth." This in turn improves lymphatic drainage, blood circulation and a reduction in fluid retention. In short, the leggings decrease cellulite.

ALLEGEDLY.

Unfortunately, the Midas-touched leggings aren't available at the moment -- mayhaps Scrooge McDuck has been stocking up on yoga gear for his New Year's resolution -- but you can get them on pre-order. And Proskins also sells 24k gloves and eye masks, for all you golden oldies looking to avoid zombie hands and crow's feet. Though something tells us that in this case, it might be a better idea to just hold onto your actual gold.

*Has anyone read this story recently? I mean WTF?