I Took the Worst Trend of the Season for a Test Drive

I've never been so confused by an article of clothing.
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Alyssa Vingan Klein
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I've never been so confused by an article of clothing.

Every once in a while, a trend hits the runways or streets that is totally beyond my comprehension (most recently, Tevas come to mind). But, that doesn't keep my curiosity from getting the best of me, and more often than not, I like to give a trend a chance before writing it off completely. Don't knock it 'til you've tried it, right?

This summer, destroyed denim is unavoidable. While I've always been a fan of artfully messed up jeans with a few holes in just the right places, this year's version takes the style to an extreme, with cut-outs so large that your entire thigh is exposed. After seeing this look in countless fashion bloggers' Instagram posts, and on the likes of Rihanna and Kim Kardashian during their off-duty days, I wondered what wearing a half-missing article of clothing around the city would be like. Although I was sure I'd look silly, I went to Urban Outfitters and picked up a pair. Let's just call it a fashion experiment. 

There's also a gaping hole in the backside, but I'm not putting a photo of that on the Internet. Photo: Nina Frazier Hansen

There's also a gaping hole in the backside, but I'm not putting a photo of that on the Internet. Photo: Nina Frazier Hansen

I decided to wear the jeans to work the next day, and was faced with my first challenge early on: getting them on was a nightmare. As you can probably imagine, sticking your legs into pants with gaping holes in them doesn't allow for easy navigation to the ankle openings, but I overcame this sartorial hurdle and continued on my way.

Here's a sampling of what was going through my head as I walked to work and throughout the rest of the day: Damn, these are really hot—I thought the holes would provide me with a little more airflow. Why are these holes so high up? I can barely bend my knees. These few threads that are still in tact are cutting into my skin — should I just tear them more? I wish I would have remembered the huge hole under the back pocket before I sat down on the subway. Summary: Nothing too positive to report.

But enough about what I thought, let’s move on to what other people thought. 

My colleagues were as nice as they could be when it came to sharing their thoughts on my destroyed denim. Steff sweetly commented about the flattering cut, but didn't have much to say about the giant holes, aside from "I wonder if they make patches big enough to cover them." Eliza, on the other hand, thinks they would be pretty handy for stashing stuff — perhaps sneaking booze into a music festival.

Now, I’m not one to dress in a manner that screams “look at me,” but when I wore these jeans out in public, that’s exactly what I thought: that everyone was, well, looking at me. Not in the “I love her outfit” way, but rather, the “what the hell is she wearing” way. Since I felt pretty uncomfortable in the denim to begin with, I was well aware that this could be pure paranoia, but as I was running to an evening appointment in Astoria, my fears were confirmed. 

A couple of twenty-something guys driving in my direction had a very strong opinion on my jeans, as they felt the need to slow down the car, roll down the window and scream, “Where’s the rest of them?!” This astute comment was followed by a cackle as they sped away. 

I had no answer for them, unfortunately, just as I have no answer for the bigger picture question at hand: How did these become a trend in the first place? We may never know, but when it comes to fashion, some things are probably better left to Miley Cyrus.