When I approached the former glass factory where Riccardo Tisci was throwing Givenchy's Milan Fashion Week party and saw a huge, winding sea of people reminiscent of a really bad airport security line, every instinct I had told me to go home. Even top models Lexi Boling and Binx Walton had issues getting in — that is, until they discovered the VIP entrance. But I stuck it out, made my way in, and — thank god — it was worth the wait.
The rager, which was thrown in celebration of Tisci's 10 years at Givenchy and the brand's new boutique on Via Sant'Andrea — was a real-life version of Stefon's "SNL" party reports. It had everything... and almost none of it made sense.
I walked into the open-air space to find five or six men in black ski masks standing across a platform holding Rottweilers. I initially thought their presence might be drug-related until I remembered Tisci's affinity for the dog breed.
Heading deeper into the venue, I found the true Instagram bait: a two-story-high, lit-up sign that said "I believe in the power of love" — the same one that lit up Givenchy's runway show after-party in New York. Underneath stood a group of models in heavy face jewelry, reclining on old, dilapidated cars, which seems to be a party trend for spring 2016 because Marc Jacobs had the same sort of staging at his New York Fashion Week party.
Then, I walked down a path in which performers were dancing in the snow. (Yep, somehow there was snow.) One danced very hard at me as I walked past.
At the end of the walkway was a basketball court where some men were actually playing, because sports are a natural party decoration.
The weirdest detail, however, had to be the three women wearing wigs, Halloween makeup and white dresses standing on a platform next to the roof as if they were haunting the already-creepy venue.
Then, I passed a guarded doorway, which presumably led to where models like Joan Smalls, Behati Prinsloo, Caroline Trentini, Candice Swanepoel and Raquel Zimmermann were hanging out.
A white room with images projected onto the walls preceded the main event space, which housed the largest bar I've ever seen, winding around a stage on which exotic dancers (wearing next to nothing) writhed on stripper poles. We ended up with a decent view of them and Nicki Minaj as she took the stage just after we'd grabbed our first glasses of Moet champagne (LVMH cross-promotion, of course).
After watching her perform a surprisingly long set that included hits like "Feeling Myself," "Anaconda," and "Super Bass," we called a taxi (Uber is apparently useless in Milan), did a little more people watching, and said "ciao."