Dior Proves You're Still Not Doing Enough With Your Ear Piercings

Compared to the jewelry situation at the French house's fall show, your piercing game is now weaker than a fashion girl on the second day of a juice cleanse.
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Eliza Brooke
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Compared to the jewelry situation at the French house's fall show, your piercing game is now weaker than a fashion girl on the second day of a juice cleanse.
The look at Dior. Photo: Imaxtree

The look at Dior. Photo: Imaxtree

After more than five years of aggressive caffeine use, I gave up coffee yesterday for various irrelevant reasons and am suffering through some pretty heavy withdrawal symptoms right now, so please excuse me if this sounds harsh, but your earring game is weak, dude. Weaker than my fortitude to not be an asshole today, and that is weak. It's a race to the bottom, and you're winning by a mile.

You have, what — three, four holes in your ears at this point? Regular lobes done at Claire's back in the day, a helix hoop from college if you were "edgy," then another few installed at the hand of famed fashion girl crush J. Colby Smith when the whole delicate jewelry thing started taking off? Yeah, see, that whispery collection of dainty gold studs and hoops you've cultivated is not going to cut it. At Dior on Friday, the creative team tacked handfuls of earrings to the models' ears, and not just the slender slivers of metal crafted by the elves over at Catbird. These are bigger and bolder and come in a variety of shapes: hoops, loops, drops... a revolver? Yes.

Admittedly, most of these are probably ear cuffs, so you don't necessarily have to run your toned little tush over to New York Adorned to punch a few more holes into your noggin. Maybe raid your grandmother's clip-on stockpile and get a few of those in the mix. Gran's like, "Why are you putting that on the top of your ear, sweetie?" And in a low growl you're like, "Because I'm chic."