“You’d think it would be enough to be the Queen of Constance, but then to have to be the queen of the Upper East Side, and then … ” Jenny trails off here, but allow us to finish. And then you have to be the queen of your college sorority. Then you have to be the queen of the Style.com set, and have Derek Blas blog about you. Then you have to be the queen of the trophy wives, and then you have to have the prettiest and smartest children. Then you have to be the queen of New York Social Diary, and the queen of Bill Cunningham’s page in “Styles,” and then you have to hope that when at last you get Alzheimer’s your children don’t turn against you and start selling your possessions and letting you live in squalor on a pee-stained sofa. And then you die, and even then, you can still lose, if everyone stops talking about you.” —From Daily Intel’s epic Gossip Girl recap.

“The thing about Rick is, it’s so classic. You can buy anything from the collection and wear it forever,” declared Heidi Mount pre-show at Ecole des Beaux-Artes.

One might question that judgment when the clothes are styled a la Rick and presented in a deep dark room with feathered headdresses and leather bubble boots, but overall, she’s right. Individually, his clothes are almost subtle, definitely delicate, and so brilliantly constructed.

Which is why the cream of the fashion crop swamps his shows. Today’s front row included Carine (of course, with Julia behind her), Ikram Goldman (Michelle Obama in Rick?!), Gareth Pugh, Julie Gilhart, Franca Sozzani, Kate Lanphear, Gloria Baume, Glenn O’Brien, Bill Cunningham and Morley Safer (whom I assume means Anna, though I didn’t see her). The first rate front row matched the first rate - though noticeably white - cast: Raquel, Iris, Stam, Olga, Vlada R, Ali S, Karlie, Daiane, Sasha, Heidi, Hanne - most of whom showed up wearing at least one thing Rick.

The futuristic, sometimes sparkly collection elicited actual hooting and hollering from the audience - the most excitement I’ve heard this season (aside from Chris Kane) until the Nina Ricci crowd actually broke into applause mid-show. More on that, coming up.

This afternoon, at Thakoon, I was almost swept up in Andre’s vampiric cape.

Black, lined in red, he glamorously threw it over his shoulder on his way backstage which made me giggle which made Bill Cunningham snap my picture which made me gasp and almost trip into the Eyebeam.

Inside, my eyes zoomed to the mass of red hair in the middle of the aisle - Coco Rocha kissing Grace Coddington hello. Grace joined Anna in the front row while all the other Vogue-ttes, sat second row which is kind of confusing with people like Derek Blasberg, Jessica Joffe and Olivia Chantecaille in the front. Whose view matters more?

Anyway, Thakoon sent out a collection of impeccably tailored dresses, capes and trousers topped off with furs colored like a parrot. The clothes were considerably younger than seasons past, especially the prom-like tulle and sequin dress Jourdan wore to close the show. There were at least two Balmain inspired looks and disco ball shoes. Michelle Obama might have difficulty choosing a first lady appropriate outfit from this selection.

But how much would you love to see her in one of those colorful fur hats?

For the past couple years, former art student Dana Veraldi, of Deer Dana, has been making shirts featuring the faces of well-known fashion people, and it’s sort of become a game to guess who’s next.

So far, she’s caricatured Vogue’s Andre Leon Talley and Hamish Bowles, “social” Genevieve Jones, Olivier (both Theyskens and Zahm), Agyness Deyn, along with quite a few more.

And next? Bill Cunningham, the Times’ fashion photographer since sometime in the 70’s. The shirt will be available on Dana’s site, and we bet if enough people wear it around to Fashion Week, Bill might even do a round-up of his fans in the Sunday Times.

I get to Gareth Pugh’s show at 4:47.

The show starts at 5, but after a week in Paris, I’m still not familiar with the Palais du Tokyo.

I stand in line next to American Vogue editors and we watch Carine Roitfeld stalk past wearing sequins.

I get inside and trip over a bench that says Mr. Karl Lagerfeld and Lady Amanda Harlech. Alas, they don’t show. So I get my thrills sitting inches from Jefferson Hack who shares his illustrious bench with Rick Owens, Roisin Murphy, Olivier Zahm and Carine.

The club kids sit on the other side just like London because cool kids in New York don’t get to crash shows. The blogger behind me says that she doesn’t understand why bloggers love Kate Lanphear and I’m pretty sure she means me.

Meanwhile, Bill Cunningham marvels at the woman sitting next to me. “But, you’re actually wearing Gareth Pugh! I saw that on the runway last season and thought how does one wear such a thing?” She nods without answering; it matches her outfit better.

The show starts at 6:03.

The models wear reflective mirrors above their eyelashes causing them to blink excessively. Yet, they manage to maneuver the square runway in their seven-inch black and white platforms.

They wear Shakespearean collars on steroids, bicycle reflector suits, ghoulish robes, futuristic jackets and leather biker gear not made for the faint of heart. The show is meticulously styled by Katie Shillingford but a surprising number of pieces could be styled into a real wardrobe.

Gareth Pugh’s latest collection is, in my head at least, wearable. Which is great for the designer and also for Bill Cunningham. I don’t know how many more surprises the guy can handle.

Bergdorf Goodman and The New York Times just announced their fashion week kick-off plans, and while it might not be as wild as Justin Timberlake at Roseland, it’ll be a good excuse to escape the tents for a bit.

The two are teaming up to host a retrospective of Bill Cunningham’s “On the Street” photographs in the department store’s windows from September 5th to 16th accompanied by a proper exhibition on the 3rd floor - which means a lot of the women in the photographs will probably be shopping amongst them.

“New Yorkers have their own distinct take on fashion, and no one chronicles that style better than Bill Cunningham,” said Bergdorf’s CEO Jim Gold. The beloved photographer’s been shooting New York street style, mostly uptown, since 1978 and this is the first formally displayed collection of his work.

The Department of Transportation will host a kick-off event at Bergdorf - because the only thing better known than Bill’s photographs is Bill’s bicycle.

Gasp, Bill!

Still love you, though.