We don’t know - and can’t imagine - why, so we’ll just give you the facts:

1. Ashton Kutcher is starting another television show, this time for the CW (home of the fashion-centric Gossip Girl), and this time about models.

2. It’s going to be based on his experiences having grown up as a model from Iowa, though it looks like it’s supposed to be fiction.

3. Actress/former Keds girl/handbag designer Mischa Barton will star in the series as Sonia, “a successful model who keeps the competition at bay but also advises the younger ones, at the end of the month.”

Which kind of makes it sound like it’s supposed to be a fake reality show, which sounds perfectly in line with the rest of the information.

But most pressing: Can it top High Heel Boot Camp?

Good news if you’re a fan of Nina Garcia on Project Runway, and Stylista on the CW. Bad news if you think ELLE should lay off cable-related publicity:

ELLE has just hired on Creative Artists Agency as a consultant.

Why?

Because they need someone to look for “TV shows and film properties that can elevate ELLE’s brand among potential readers,” and they’re so serious they need someone to do that full-time.

Meaning?

Get ready for more ELLE on TV, which is sure to compete with Marie Claire’s Running in Heels.

In the meantime, we’re just waiting for someone to announce they’ll host live podcasts of editorial meetings and interns packing clothes. Can’t. Wait.

Oh. My. God.

Much like Star Wars, Gossip Girl is getting its own prequel series, revolving around the buried romance between Lily Bass and Rufus Humphrey, which will be introduced to Gossip Girl viewers via flashbacks during the May 11th episode.

Yes, the Lily/Rufus thing is a total yawn, but since the separate series is supposed to take place in 80’s LA, expect Eric Daman to go buck wild with the costumes, especially since Lily goes from the high (a rich, Montecito boarding school kid) to the low (a public school in the Valley) in just a couple episodes.

We’re not sure we can condone such a thick layer of soap slabbed onto a getting-questionable program, but there’s nothing we can do to stop it, so let’s just enjoy the clothes -

Lily’s first outfit: Something like this?

Apparently, 90210 is the zip that keeps on giving.

Because believe it or not, there’s not one, not two, but four separate nail polishes dedicated to the city of ostentatious wealth. Kind of ironic in these times of financial strife, no?

OPI’s three-piece 90210 collection is based, unfortunately, on the new craptastic CW show. Props to the brand for the idea, but where were you when the original and far superior show was a weekly ritual? I would have been all over a Brenda nail polish like, well, Brenda on Dylan.

Alas, the three polishes are themed on lackluster Annie, Silver and Naomi. Though unlike their namesakes, all three shades are versatile and complementary, with the crimson and shimmery purple at $8.50 each and available now.

Not to be outdone, Essie’s teamed up with the Beverly Hills Conference & Visitor’s Bureau to create Love, Beverly Hills xx. The shade, available this month, is a racy red (at left) with a golden shimmer courtesy of actual 24 karat pure gold. Of course.

So in case you were wondering (and we totally know you were), the official color of Beverly Hills isn’t black (as in AmEx or Lauren Conrad’s shade of choice) or platinum (as in wedding band) - it’s rich and shiny red.

—MEGAN MCINTYRE (our new weekly beauty columnist!)

We hear Jordache, maker of vintage jeans and employer of Heidi Klum, is more than a little upset with Gossip Girl.

See, according to a GG insider at the CW upfronts, Jordache claims to have invented the ‘XOXO’ brand and they’re not thrilled everyone’s associating the phrase, (is it even that?), with Kristen Bell’s voice and Blair Waldorf’s sex life.

After all, the denim legend plastered it all over their print ads circa 1979 and the Upper East Siders have only been using it for one season and well, makers of Valentines have been using it since the dawn the of time.

How’s that for an adventure in copyrighting?

This morning WWD reported that ELLE’s Joe Zee and Anne Slowey have started a New York City promo tour for the CW’s “Fashionistas”.

But there seems to be a little confusion on the Tyra front, or someone missed the memo.

Reuters now reports that the show is called Stylista, and the contestants will vie for the coveted ELLE position as well as two other prizes we haven’t heard before: a year’s paid lease on a Manhattan apartment and - perhaps the most covetable of all - a yearlong shopping allowance at H&M worth $100,000.

Hey, at least we don’t have to share our name anymore…

— JAZZI McGILBERT