“You’d think it would be enough to be the Queen of Constance, but then to have to be the queen of the Upper East Side, and then … ” Jenny trails off here, but allow us to finish. And then you have to be the queen of your college sorority. Then you have to be the queen of the Style.com set, and have Derek Blas blog about you. Then you have to be the queen of the trophy wives, and then you have to have the prettiest and smartest children. Then you have to be the queen of New York Social Diary, and the queen of Bill Cunningham’s page in “Styles,” and then you have to hope that when at last you get Alzheimer’s your children don’t turn against you and start selling your possessions and letting you live in squalor on a pee-stained sofa. And then you die, and even then, you can still lose, if everyone stops talking about you.” —From Daily Intel’s epic Gossip Girl recap.

At the Balmain show this morning in Paris, Twitter was again on fire. From Derek “@dizzyblazeberg” Blasberg’s: “‘This is some hooker military shit,’ the stylist next to me observed” and “It’s a slutty sexy tent city over here” to @TheMoment’s “Savage Balmain! Think G.I. Jane meets Cher! Super sexy- again.”

And then we came to Joe Zee’s TwitPic of the sequined jeans. We’ve seen lots of sequins already this season, but I can only recall one other, Ralph Lauren, that involved a pair of jeans. I believe I stand alone at the office in liking this particular Ralph look (and the entire collection for that matter.) But I cannot be swayed. The sequins on those jeans are cool.

Now the Balmain version is of course much flashier, and will indeed cost a phenomenal amount more money. But these are definitely going to be all over the Beyoncés and Rihannas of the world. Riri even watched them go by in person from the front row.

And granted there could be some ugly trickle down versions that happen that happen as a result of this trend. But I’m on board so far. What about you?

On Sunday night (a bit delayed, sorry), I headed to MILK to watch Gareth Pugh’s Ruth Hogben produced film. I’d expected a preview of the collection, but instead I watched a giant cube in the middle of MILK’s loading dock. Each side represented an element and the top of the cube, which was essentially the ceiling, represented the fifth element, the ethereal.

It was pretty to watch, but I was too tired and too sober (and maybe not cool enough) to absorb it on any sort of philosophical level, so instead Faran and Blue and I made up Hollywood names for fashion couples - not necessarily make out couples, but we-go-to-everything-together couples. Yes, we know we’re getting increasingly delirious as the week goes on:

1. Cecilia Dean & Steven Gan: STEVELIA
2. Lauren Santo Domingo & Derek Blasberg: DELAUREN
3. Becka Diamond & Byrdie Bell: BYRKA
4. Fabiola Beracasa & Tallulah Harlech: FALLULAH
5. Keegan Singh, Kate Lanphear & Mark Holgate: KEEKARK

Who’d we miss?

photo from modelinia!Last night, at 8, I ran out of Julie Haus’ Kate Lanphear-styled show and into the madness that was Fashion’s Night Out.

The streets of Soho were packed with people who weren’t just shopping, but had properly decked themselves out for the Vogue sponsored occasion. From top to toe they rocked Balmain-shouldered blazers and chunky jewels with booties and their official Fashion’s Night Out tees.

I swung into Intermix, pre-Rihanna & Millers, where it was so packed that even though I wanted a grey Kain tank, I couldn’t make my way to the register. Outside I found Keegan Singh staring into space, more overwhelmed than I at the growing crowds. Then Eddie Borgo found us and I gushed over Jen Kao’s show (on which they both worked, more to come later). We split and I (stupidly) hopped in a cab uptown to Barneys, a veritable frat house full of models, socialites, designers and the most fashion forward children I’ve ever seen - all of them laden with shopping bags.

Prabal Gurung showed his second eponymous collection yesterday, to a full house including Vogue-ettes, Peter Som, LSD, Rachel Zoe & Brad, Derek Blasberg, Elettra Rossellini Wiedemann, buyers from Barneys and Bergdorf Goodman and a bevy of other impeccably dressed admirers who squeezed into a tiny square of a room high above Chelsea.

The clothes were asking for a major scene on Rachel’s show - they ranged from cocktail appropriate to Oscar perfect, including a pretty major red dress with giant black bows and a skinny white tux with a sheer white blouse underneath; the white Grecian goddess-like dress was our favorite.

Prabal was the best part though - the adorable designer bopped around with the biggest smile on his face. Guess that’s what happens when you manage to create the newest and most major buzz at New York Fashion Week.

Things kicked off at the tents this morning with the 9 am Michael Angel show. I was tired, obvs, and frustrated that I didn’t have my Daily to read while I waited for the show to start (they were all kinds of late getting to Bryant Park!) But I soon got over it.

Lauren Santo Domingo, Derek Blasberg, Julia Stegner, Julie Gilhart, and Linda Fargo were all settled in the front row as a parade of prints and sequins trotted down the runway, giving me a much needed jolt. (Seriously, can’t Diet Coke become a sponsor? I don’t drink coffee so that McCafe situation does nothing for me.)

But I digress. The detail work on the clothes was especially impressive on the Swarovski bedecked flesh-colored long sleeved top that Iekeliene rocked. And the peep toe Manolo booties were to die for.

Equally obsession-inducing, in my book, were the bright colored Alexis Bittar baubles. Those earrings have me seriously considering piercing my ears…yet again.

Style.com’s gathered all your favorite, and all our favorite, fashion twitterers in one place for the week. From WWD to Derek Blasberg, from The New York Times to Refinery29 (& us!) - life just got a little bit easier.

The only thing more daunting that Fashion Week is turning out to be Fashion’s Night Out.

We’ve probably received fifteen to twenty emails per day since July telling us what’s up, who’s coming, where’s happening Thursday night and after much deliberation we’ve come up with a game plan.

Given there are really only two of us, splitting up’s the only way to cover the most ground without exhausting ourselves before the week actually even begins (and without spending all of our money before Christopher Kane hits Topshop).

I’ll run home for dinner after work which strategically puts me on Bleecker Street to start. I’ll kick off the night with Teen Vogue’s Bleecker Street party then swing by Intermix to glimpse the Miller sisters (and to actually buy a couple of tank tops I’ll need for the week) before swinging around the corner to Rag & Bone on Christopher Street where Jessica Stam’ll be at the cash register and Guinness will flow.

“Remember when I said Joe Biden was ushering in Middle East chic? Well, I think Riccardo Tisci was listening. Glitter, burkhas and ball gowns” -Derek Blasberg tweeting from the Givenchy couture show. Stripped down at Dior, covered up at Givenchy? Interesting.

We’ve started to think of Chanel as a little family.

A royal one of course, with Karl and Lady Amanda Harlech holding court as king and queen, Sebastian playing court jester, and a circle of courtesans, some of whom are in for life (Karen) and some (Irina, Heidi, Lara) who move in and out of favor.

Anyway, the family gathered in Venice yesterday for Chanel’s Cruise ‘10 (ah!) show and while it didn’t go off without a hitch, the clothes held their own in front of the Venetian sunset. The king was late and the queen suffered a mosquito-stung eye, but after the audience took to their wooden deck chairs the girls - Freja, Ikeliene, Siri, Tanya, Liu, Jourdan - strutted down the beach in stripes, tweeds, florals, pajama-like silks and even harlequin prints. There were loads of jewels, strappy sandals, plastic booties and even lace-trimmed biker shorts that make all our thirteen-year-old style dreams come true.

We hope someone packed up the Marchesa Casati-inspired wigs for this weekend’s Life Ball in Vienna while we imagine a dress or two is already headed to Cannes.

There’ve been tweets that London’s i-D Magazine is dead.

From Derek Blasberg: Gossip at Chanel lunch in Venice: did London fashion rag i-D just close? Or did it just get really, really smaller? Anybody know for sure?

He’s in Venice for Chanel resort surrounded by people who know such things.

But then there are tweets that say it’s just shrinking.

From COACD: ID MAGAZINE to cut its issue….will publish 6 times a year….Terry&Tricia Jones/ publishers.

But we imagine its publishers know such things, too. And while we want to weep over the possible loss of the magazine’s brilliant blinking covers and its consistent devotion to models, we’ll take solace in the fact that six issues a year are better than none.

And now we’ll go buy a handful of copies just in case they need a bit of support to stay afloat.

“Why does it always rain on Met day? I wonder if Mother Nature hates Anna. Anna probably asked her to wear short tonight and she was pissed.” —Derek Blasberg’s tweet, aka, our new favorite reading material.

“I am sitting next to Jerry Hall right now. This must be what heaven feels like.” —Derek Blasberg, Tweet of the Day!

—PHOTOGRAPHY BY JEREMY KOST

“If I were in a band in sixth grade I would have called it The Banana Republic Club.” —Derek Blasberg, while interviewing Alison Mosshart in the new Interview.

1. Everyone here wears fur. Seriously, it’s incorporated into almost every outfit.

2. The only champagne I’ve seen was an empty bottle on the Boulevard Saint-Germain last night. 1-0 London.

3. I’ve been captivated by the politics of seating this season. In Paris, the Carines and Anna Della Russos sit in front, naturally, but I’ve seen Derek Blasberg and Glenn O’Brien sit second row while Kate Lanphear’s in the third.

4. Not fashion related, but they have pancakes at Starbucks. (I had to, it’s the only place I’m not embarrassed to order a coffee to take away).

5. A friend saw Charlotte Gainsbourg in the Shell (yes, gas station) mini-mart. She was browsing crackers.

6. The photo pits are huge.

7. There was a Fashion Week Daily reporter at Nina Ricci - but if they’re here where is the Parisian Daily???

This afternoon, at Thakoon, I was almost swept up in Andre’s vampiric cape.

Black, lined in red, he glamorously threw it over his shoulder on his way backstage which made me giggle which made Bill Cunningham snap my picture which made me gasp and almost trip into the Eyebeam.

Inside, my eyes zoomed to the mass of red hair in the middle of the aisle - Coco Rocha kissing Grace Coddington hello. Grace joined Anna in the front row while all the other Vogue-ttes, sat second row which is kind of confusing with people like Derek Blasberg, Jessica Joffe and Olivia Chantecaille in the front. Whose view matters more?

Anyway, Thakoon sent out a collection of impeccably tailored dresses, capes and trousers topped off with furs colored like a parrot. The clothes were considerably younger than seasons past, especially the prom-like tulle and sequin dress Jourdan wore to close the show. There were at least two Balmain inspired looks and disco ball shoes. Michelle Obama might have difficulty choosing a first lady appropriate outfit from this selection.

But how much would you love to see her in one of those colorful fur hats?

What follows is a list of why Alexander Wang is the most perfect Valentine.

1. This isn’t a fashion show, it’s a rock concert at Roseland Ballroom.

2. He’s incorporated both chocolate and tequila into his pre-show cocktails. They might taste foul but it’s a valiant and appreciated effort.

3. Ok, so he has nothing to do with this one but walking into a venue shoulder to shoulder with a Margiela clad Sarah Jessica Parker is kind of cool.

4. The black bandage leggings - like an Herve dress for your legs - make me wish I was sitting next to Rachel Zoe so we could die together.

5. My box of Sweethearts are 90% white and that never happens.

6. He opens the show with “Welcome to the Jungle” which means the front row - Fabiola, Lauren Santo Domingo, Erin Wasson, Pamela Love, Keegan Singh, Jen Brill, the Richards sisters, Derek Blasberg - is seriously rocking out. I like to think Anna, Bee, DVF and SJP are rocking out, too.

7. He takes his bow wearing a backstage pass around his neck, as if they aren’t going to let him in.

8. This is unrelated to his Valentine qualifications, but there was fur. Discuss.

“Luxury is for the rich, not the nouveau riche.” - Karl Lagerfeld, to Derek Blasberg backstage at Chanel couture, on Style.com.