Having trouble staying up to date on all the shows?

“Cavalli’s show owed a debt to Marc Jacobs’s notorious Grunge collection for Perry Ellis. But what a difference fifteen years makes in fashion! What was shockingly anarchic in 1993 now looks effortlessly chic. Here the spring Dust Bowl thirties chiffon dress and Liberty-print shirt are given a Cavalli rock-and-roll twist with the suede pants with cowboy cross-lacing.”

That’s Hamish Bowles’ quick summation of Roberto Cavalli’s SS10 collection shown in Milan last week. He’s done “Definitive Looks” for all the Milan shows over on Vogue.com which might be the best way to catch up on Italy before Paris starts.

But if you’re even further behind, or still looking for the few collections Style.com doesn’t cover, you can find Rad Hourani on New York Magazine and Jeremy Scott over on The Telegraph or a handful of Brits on Elle.

Because we know our runway pictures aren’t always as fun as our words.

“Having spent a few weeks in a nearly all-female office environment, I see that criticism is delivered in subtler ways (whatever people’s impressions are of fashion editors, there is no shouting here). My favorite is what I call it the “criticism sandwich.” You’re probably asking yourself, “What is a criticism sandwich?” but I’m willing to bet you hand out or receive these sandwiches all the time without realizing it. The CS (for short) is best described in an example. Let’s say Jane wants to tell Sally that the presentation she’s working on needs a better introduction. If Jane used a CS she might say something like, “Sally, I loved the conclusion of your presentation, but the introduction needs some polish. And oh, what a cool necklace! Is it antique?” The only thing that Jane wanted to convey was that the introduction sucked, but by using the CS she gets her point across with less resistance (and fewer tears) from Sally.” - Stewart Bradley, on fashion and girls and the way they work together (plus a pretty precious mistake since we’re pretty sure he meant “vintage”) on ELLE.com.

A riot broke out at Jeremy Scott yesterday - and not because you-know-who finally descended upon Paris Fashion Week - but because the world was desperate for Scott’s red-telephoned Longchamp bags.

The one-offs were intended for rows one and two - home to Beth Ditto, Peaches Geldof, Cory Kennedy, Kelly Cutrone and Gareth Pugh - and the security guards were determined to do their job well - so well that we witnessed beefy French men grabbing them out of third row purses and putting them back in front.

Anyway, Scott was inspired by Mickey Mouse. Capes and coats made of Mickey’s white gloves and black and red mini-dresses printed with Mickey’s silhouette marched out to “Hey Mickey You’re So Fine.” Then there were brightly colored coats and hundreds of buttons covering corsets and dresses, all on models topped with angular black bobs.

At the end, everything was hole-y and one editor philosophized, “Britt, I think those holes are a metaphor for swiss cheese.”

It was like eating cotton candy in the middle of the gourmet seven course meal that is Paris Fashion Week.

News flash:

Looks like a reality stint on the CW can actually land you a real job at ELLE. Plenty of people thought that Stylista couldn’t possibly result in an actual job at one of the world’s top magazines, even after others swore it really would.

But now, Johanna, the show’s only-season winner, is blogging for ELLE.com - check out her interview with Rad Hourani - which means she must actually have a real, paid job with the Hachette glossy.

She’s says she’s been working very closely with linebacker Stewart Bradley. How’s that for a reality check?

A quick, non-Fashion Week news flash:

Stewart Bradley, the NFL linebacker who’s interning at ELLE, is now also blogging for the magazine’s site on a regular basis.

His first post is already up, and he tells us he’s just ‘expanding his horizons’.

On a very promising note, we have yet to see him at the Tents, so we actually kind of believe him.

Part One of Barbie-mania might be over, but the doll’s just getting started.

We knew about the Paris leg of her celebration, a Colette hosted bash smack in the middle of Paris Fashion Week with a guaranteed Karl appearance. But Barbie needed to get a Brit involved to round out her fashion trifecta and according to
ELLE.com that Brit’ll beGareth Pugh. The not at all Barbie like designer is set to design his own Barbie doll, just like Betsey Johnson and Pat Field before him.

No word yet on exactly when the doll debuts, but knowing Barbie the bash’ll be quite major.

Stay tuned.

Even though Robbie Myers has appeared on more television shows (two) than any other fashion magazine editor-in-chief, she remains much quieter on her opinions and thoughts than certain other editors of certain other magazines.

So it was a little surprising when we caught her name in a byline on ELLE.com’s fashion news blog, as “Roberta Myers”.

In what looks like her first blog post ever, Robbie asks readers to leave questions for Caroline Kennedy. But our only questions is, is this the first time the editor of a major magazine has put herself in such an accessible position?

Many powerful figures leave enough buffer room between themselves and the online world - for all the obvious reasons - but Robbie’s stepping into the anonymous unknown with little fear. So is this the first of many recurring posts from ELLE’s EIC? And if so, does this mean she’ll answer questions from the comments section, too?…

Some gift bag news for those who don’t consider themselves too cool to pick through the freebies while waiting for a show to start:

Jill Stuart, who’s showing at noon on Monday the 16th, is throwing some of her highly coveted makeup line into her goody bags, marking their first appearance stateside.

The line has been available in Asia for quite some time, and won’t be making its US debut until “late spring / early summer.” So if you’re looking for a preview, or just a way to recreate the looks from her Spring 09 show, we suggest snagging your bag immediately.

Kind of makes all those unwanted MAC shades even less appealing.

Fact: Tommy Hilfiger’s brother, Andy, used to be in a band with former Ramones drummer, Marky Ramone.

Fact: Hence, Tommy and Marky have known each other for 23 years.

New Fact? Marky and Tommy are launching a clothing line together, Rock Scene, which will consist of pants, leather jackets, and tees with images from the old CBGB club on them.

Not only does this explain Marky’s seemingly inexplicable gig as DJ at a Tommy party a year ago, but it kind of makes all that moaning and groaning over John Varvatos taking up the old CBGB space - where the Ramones played their first shows at the beginning of their legendary career - with his store seem a little overdone (or warranted? Depends on who you’re talking to…)

Some bad news for any designers showing at London Fashion Week hoping for their designs in the Barneys windows:

According to Rebecca at Elle.com, Julie Gilhart will be skipping the London shows, something the Barneys princess did last season, too (also money related), for the first time in twenty years.

So far, Julie’s the first big name to definitely drop out of LFW, though we bet there are more to come.

This is sad for Barneys, which is beloved by serious shoppers for their all-over-the-place stock, but especially sad for small designers coming out of the UK - Few well known stores carry as many young designers as Barneys, and now it might get a lot harder for designers to make an impression on Julie since she won’t be seeing the London shows in person.

So if you’re a young designer coming out of London hoping for some stateside exposure, we suggest putting together the best in-place-of-show package ever. But you’re probably already working on that.

Here’s a media shake-up that’s sure to make some people go, “huh?”

Glam.com’s picked up Nola Weinstein, who, up until this past Friday, was the Associate Editor at The Daily.

So does this mean actual fashion coverage on a site that’s usually more about how to look slimmer in a tube dress?

Stay tuned.

File this one under random:

Justin Giunta, the man behind the line of highly wearable found treasure known as Subversive Jewelry, is going to be ELLE.com’s Fashion Week blogger.

He’ll be filling everybody in on the week’s festivities, hopefully including some thoughts on some of the accessories we see on the runway.

We’re not really sure where this one came from, but hey, it’s Fashion Week. Anything goes.